


Falling into Black

by Ksfly180



Series: Falling into Black [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Drama, Magic and Science, Non-Consensual Oral Sex, Walkers (Walking Dead)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-28
Updated: 2019-08-14
Packaged: 2020-07-23 14:55:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 51
Words: 64,204
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20010166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ksfly180/pseuds/Ksfly180
Summary: When Sirius fell through the veil, Harry chased him.  Disoriented, they land in a city as bombs drop.  There is no going home, only going forward.  Now they have to navigate a whole new world, one full of dangers, in order to survive.





	1. The fall

Chapter 1: the fall

"Stupify!" 

"Expelliarmus!"

Glass shattering. Too many voices talking at once. 

We run.

"Give me the prophecy, Potter," Lucius Malfoy demands.

"Don't give it to him, Harry!" Neville shouts.

"Stay away from my godson!"

"Sirius!"

He fell. He fell behind the curtain. The veil. A thin shimmering curtain in a large stone archway. Hes only just fallen through! I can reach him. I can pull him back. They scream for me to stop but I'm too fast. No one can stop me. I wont let them stop me!

I leap through. The curtain feels weird, liquid like or perhaps gas. A strange sense of vertigo hits me hard. I'm falling. I can't see. I can't hear. I try to scream. I'm just falling. 

Falling. 

Falling.

I land hard, rolling with the fall. The rough surface scrapes against my skin as I hit a short wall. My arms sting as I blink around confused.

The ground beneath me is a rough grey, not gravel but certainly not smooth. There's a small shed looking thing with a red wooden door not far from where I lay. The entire area boxed in with a short foot high wall.

My ears pop, sound returning in an overwhelming way. There are terrifyied screams, only somewhat distant. Popping sounds like fireworks. 

I push myself up, only enough to look past the short wall. I blink dumbly at a brown brick building with black windows. Shifting further I look down...

We're on top of a building, five stories high. The street below is a mess of stalled vehicles and running people. Some stumbling drunkenly, covered in blood.

A high pitched sound comes from above. A grey airplane, small and narrow flies overhead. Something falls from it, several streets away. 

The explosion is loud. The building beneath me shudders with the shock of it. Another explosion occurs near the first.

More planes come, the same high pitched shriek. Then more explosions. I press myself tight against the short wall. The building still shudders with each explosion but I don't know what else to do.

It continues for a half hour. Each minute filled with shrieks of the planes and booms of the explosions. People scream, somehow more terrified than before. I just stay pressed tight to the wall, hoping it will pass me by.

When it stops it still isn't quiet. There are smaller explosions that sound deeper than the others. The building shudders through aftershocks almost steadily. And the screams continue although they are fewer and further away.

I peak over the ledge again. Curiosity winning as I need to know what's happening. Smoke billowing black and thick in the air obstructs my view on all sides.

A building, three down and across the street, is burning fiercely. Another on the street behind it is completely gone. I look the other way to see similar destruction, three buildings leveled at the end of the block.

The people on the street seem to be dead or drunk. The dead ones are torn apart, red smears all around them. The drunk ones stumbling blindly with red smears.

A groan sounds behind me. I almost don't hear it over the noise but somehow the deep sound registers. I twist onto my stomach, quickly searching out the sound.

Sirius lays prone more than ten feet away from me. He groans again, his arm flopping weakly over his head. I crawl forward, hurrying to his side while hoping not to attract the bombers attention. Although at this point I don't think they will come back.

Sirius moans pitifully. I shush him, tugging urgently at his arm. He blinks confused storm grey eyes at me.

"Keep quiet," I urge him, "They bombed the city."

He blinks slowly. Awareness returns, grey eyes focusing. I still have to repeat myself. 

He pushes himself up to his feet. I try to pull him back down but he shrugs me off as he stumbles closer to the edge. He freezes, looking out at the destruction with an unbelievable expression.

This time when I tug him down he lets me. We both sit, huddled near the ledge. His gaze darting amongst the ruin.

"Planes came and dropped bombs," I tell him again. "I'm not sure who they were or why they did it."

He hums but doesnt reply. Instead he leans forward to watch the people on the street. His gaze hawk like as it takes in the movements and actions below.

"Merlin damned!" He mutters. 

His face pale, horrified. He looks around again. This time searching for something. 

He curses again, grabbing my arm harshly. He looks around the rooftop we're on with a panicked gaze. A hurried search of the empty space seems to relax him somewhat. Although he looks back at the street below, horrified and incredulous.

"What do we do?" I ask.

He swallows, blinking out at the destruction. When he looks back at me it's with a firm resolve. He answers, "We survive."

Survive? How is that an answer? But I don't ask.

He pulls me back from the ledge, standing once were a bit away. Then with his wand out he pulls me towards the door of the little shed looking thing. He motions me to pull out my wand too.

"What about the muggles?" I whisper to him.

He frowns, answering, "They have bigger problems."


	2. First steps

Chapter 2: first steps

A simple Alohamora unlocks the door. It opens to darkness below. Sirius motions for me to light my wand so I do, holding it forward.

There's a winding staircase made of a dark metal. Sirius steps forward, the sound echoes loudly. He curses, casting a spell at the staircase to muffle the sounds as he moves further down.

I follow, letting the door close quietly behind us. The area gets darker so I strengthen the light of my wand, holding it out over the staircase. The walls press close, boxing in the narrow stairs. We continue down the winding steps to where it ends at another door.

Sirius goes first, slipping out the door with a muttered, "Stay right behind me."

The hallway is long and dark. The burgundy rug matches the steel blue walls well enough. Although there are plenty of dark splatters and smears on both walls and floor.

Sirius stops at the first door on the right. It has brass number '12E' on it. An Alohamora gets it open and we slip inside.

The windows let in some light but I keep my wand lit just in case. There's a kitchen to our immediate left and a sitting area just past that with a brown couch and a couple chairs. There's a single door on the right side, halfway down the wall. But there are no people here.

Sirius mutters a locking spell at the door. The he moves forward, scanning the room. He even checks the cupboards and behind the couch. Then he moves to the door, slipping into the bedroom beyond.

I follow him as he checks beneath the bed, in the closet, and in the bathroom. None of the lights work, no doubt the power is out because of the bombs. So I keep my want lit to chase away the dark in all the corners that he checks.

With a tired sigh he leads us back to the sitting room. He slumps onto the couch, a look of disbelief still on his face. I slide into the corner of the couch, waiting nervously for our next move.

He's quiet for a while. His gaze distant as he stares beyond the window. My stomach grumbles loudly but I ignore it, far too used to such things.

He blinks over at me as if he forgot I was there. Clearing his throat he says, "We'll stay the night here."

I don't argue. Although I do ask, "What if the owners come home? Shouldn't we try to apparate or something?"

He shakes his head, "I don't know where we are and I won't risk us splinching ourselves."

"Should we try to send for help?" 

He shakes his head, "I'm still a fugitive so we cant."

I nod, accepting that answer. Although I'm still confused about what we should do. This is obviously someone's home. What if they return?

Sirius stands, a strained smile offered as he waves me to follow. He heads to the kitchen, opening the fridge and rifling through it. He pulls out sandwich meat, cheese, and a head of lettuce.

"We can't take that!"

He snorts, "Pup, in case you haven't noticed, this city is a war zone. No one will care that two hungry people took a couple sandwiches. Trust me."

I want to argue, more because I worry that it will bring us trouble. But I'm also hungry. So I open the cupboards until I find the plates and pull two down. The bread is on the counter, a dark wheat with seed like stuff on the top.

Sirius works on the sandwiches, piling them up thickly. So I search for some cups, filling them with some of the cool apple juice from the fridge. If we're going to steal the food then a drink or two can't hurt.

We eat at the counter. There are large bags of crisps in the pantry that we grab out. There's also a plastic case of strawberries in the fridge that Sirius grabs.

He mutters a curse, pulling his wand and casting a patronous. A long limbed form appears, something vaguely canine but also not. It kinda reminds me of Professor Lupin actually.

"Mooney, send help," Sirius orders.

The patronous doesn't move. The ghost like creature merely looks back blandly. With a frown he tries again, more specific this time, "Mooney, Harry and I are in trouble, come to our coordinates."

Again it doesn't move. With a frown he dispels it, casting again with an ordered, "Albus, we're stuck. Send help to these coordinates."

Again it doesn't move. Now looking alarmed he dispels it. A different spell is cast, his wand spinning lazily over his palm. It continues for a solid minute before he stops it.

Another locator spell is cast, this time verbally calling, "Minerva McGonagal."

It spins lazily over his palm until he stops the spell. He tries Mr. And Mrs. Weasley. Then he tries the Malfoys. That produces the same result. 

With an almost panicked air he keeps casting. Various names muttered or shouted. Some I recognize, some I don't. But all produce the same lazy spin.

Wide grey eyes meet mine as he asks, "What happened to us?"

"What do you mean?" 

He rubs at his head, clearly overwhelmed as he struggles to explain, "It's like no one exists here. I thought a portkey got us, dropping us somewhere else. I don't recognize the city or even the labels on the food stuff here. What happened?"

I swallow nervously, shifting in place as I tell him. He listens as I explain about the visions. I can tell he wants to interupt or scold me but he doesn't. 

When I get to the part about the archway he looks away thoughtful. I tell him about the spell hitting him and how he fell past the curtain. I tell him how I chased after him. 

I tell him how we landed here. I remind him of the explosions, the airplanes, and the screams. He pales at that.

When i finish he sighs tiredly. When he meets my questioning gaze he explains, "The veil was called the veil of death. It was studied but no one whose gone through it has ever returned. Criminals have been sentenced to death through it for centuries."

"We're dead?" I gasp out.

He shakes his head, "No, obviously they got that part wrong. It looks like it's tossed us out in another world, maybe another reality. We won't know for sure until we do some searching. But either way, we can't go back."


	3. Finding our feet

Chapter 3: finding our feet

We spend the first few days inside that same apartment. We sleep together in the bedroom, unwilling to be seperate. Especially in this new frightening world where we're strangers.

The second day, Sirius goes out to check the other eleven apartments on this floor. They are all empty, recently abandoned. Each has food in the cabinets and fridge. Some even have newspapers which is how we learnt of what happened.

The first paper speaks of a flu like illness that's spreading. The people affected have terrible fever, seem to die, then wake up violent. It warns people to remain indoors and isolate any infected.

The second paper mentions whole towns and even large portions of the city isolated due to the illness. It gives locations for secure shelters and safe zones that the military here have secured. It urges people to evacuate their homes for these safe zones.

The third paper has a picture, grainy and grey, of people fleeing in terror. At the back of the crowd running are the infected. Several have overwhelmed people, biting and tearing them apart. Even without color, the images are gruesome.

It warns people to avoid the infected, avoid the quarantined zones. It gives a repeated list of safe zones and orders everyone to evacuate immediately to the nearest one. There are maps of the city with safe zones clearly marked and labeled along with prominent landmarks.

With a sick feeling in my gut, I keep the maps, handing the rest of the paper back to Sirius. He reads them through again, probably for the fifth time. Not that I blame him, it's unbelievable. But the proof is right outside the window.

The people I saw when we first landed, the stumbling drunks, they are the diseased. They're the ones tearing people limb from limb. The blood on them belongs to their victims.

Sirius stays quiet for the rest of the day. I imagine he's still reeling from the shock. So I make us sandwiches for lunch, accepting that whoever owned this place is probably dead and therefore won't care.

On the third day, Sirius wakes up with a determined energy. He explains, "Whatever is happening came fast and overwhelming. They lost the city or they wouldn't have dropped bombs. So we need to gather supplies, especially food and weapons."

We start with the apartment. There's a cooler in the bedroom closet that Sirius pulls out to the kitchen. We unload everything from the freezer and fridge into it, stufffing it as full as we can. 

Sirius takes his wand, carving runes onto the top of the cooler. He explains, "These are basic preservation runes. They will last until they're broken. We keep doing this, preserving everything we can, and we'll be set."

He explains that it must be a solid structure. You can't use these runes on a bag for example. So I go searching in the closet again for something to use.

There's a lot of women's clothes, all the same size so this lady must've lived alone. But in the top of the closet is a plastic bin full of picture frames and photo books. I dump the contents out on the bed and use the bin to hold the canned and boxed goods from the kitchen cupboards and pantry.

Sirius shrinks the cooler down, small as a marble or toy car. He pockets it and moves to help me. Together we get the bin full and seal it with a simple spell. It doesn't need the preservation runes but they won't hurt either so I carve them at his prompting, mostly to see if I can get them to work.

We spend the day going from apartment to apartment. We find clothes in the second one that fit Sirius. Dark jeans and various band t shirts that he stuffs into a backpack from the same place.

I don't find clothes my size until we reach the sixth door down on the left. I'm also sure that its women's clothes but beggers can't be choosers. At least the pale jeans fit well, even if they fit low, and the grey t shirt looks unassuming. Besides, our robes would attract far too much attention. 

In room number seven we find several backpacks and gym bags. Each have a logo for a university or hospital, one for a blood donation center. I also find some good running shoes there. Bundling the packs and bags, I stuff them into one backpack while putting the shrunken supplies in another.

We find several plastic bins in apartment number three. By all the crochet and flowery prints I would assume an elderly lady lived here. And the bins held everything from more crochet work to photo albums and porcelain dolls. I empty the bins and shrink them for later.

We stay the night in apartment number one. It's all creams and browns with only a few blues here and there. Whoever lived here didn't have much but was very organized. Their movies are arranged alphabetically, their pantry arranged by size.

When morning comes of our forth day in this world, we move down to the next level. We've gotten good at the spells needed so we split, each taking an apartment. There are again twelve apartments on this floor. I take number one while he takes number two.

The apartment is a mess. Clothes stern over the floor, a leather couch that is old and cracked. The fridge doesn't have much, neither does the cabinets. So I leave it and try the next one down.

This apartment, number three, also looks a mess but not as neglected as the other. There's food in the freezer, various frozen meals. There's even a stand alone freezer, about waist high, that's full to the brim. I pack it all, apply the runes, and shrink it down.

A sudden need to pee has me seeking out the bathroom. There is a large pack, thirty two rolls, of toilet tissue that I shrink down and add to my pack. I'll need to tell Sirius to gather more than just food.

The next one has an abundance of leather straps and harnesses as well as some weird chew toys in their closet. They must have a massive dog. Although I don't see a dog bed or dog food in the cupboard. I take the food and leave, careful not to touch the other stuff.

Sirius comes rushing out of the room across the hall. The door slams and magically locks. With a curse he says, "Damn inferis in there!"

"A what?"

He blinks, answering, "An inferis is dark magic, a reanimated corpse. They usually run from fire but this one didn't. I had to blast it back, tore it in half, and the top half was still coming at me."

He looks bewildered as he explains. Not that I blame him, it sounds horrible. But if tearing it in half doesn't work then what will?

He motions us to continue our search. I tell him to look for other supplies besides food and he replies that he is. So we move to the next apartment and continue clearing them.

We stop for lunch, maybe it's lunch, and eat a sandwich and apple in the hall. This floor is clear so we will move to the next one down. The stairwell is all the way at the other end though so we rest first.

The next floor down, third level with a C behind each apartment number, only has six doors. We split up again, each taking a side. I take number two while he takes number one.

These have the same kitchen on the immediate left and sitting room past it. But it also has two doors going off either side. A quick check shows each is a bedroom with its own bathroom. And this one had a teenage boy in the second bedroom.

I rifle through the clothes, taking several pants and shirts as well as two unopened packs of underwear and socks. I stuff it all in a backpack from the boys room and shrink it down. Then I check the bathroom, taking the unopened deodorant, a bottle of two in one hair wash, and all the toilet tissue.

The kitchen has several snack packs and frozen meals. I load the cold stuff in a plastic bin, adding runes and shrinking it down. Then I load the dry stuff, the cans and boxed goods, into a gym bag and shrinking it down. There's no point to using a bin on supplies that will keep longer. Then I check the master bathroom for razers and toilet tissue.

The next apartment down has four gallons of milk in the fridge and three large cases of water. I check the milk, putting them in a small bin, adding runes and shrinking it down. There is also an unusual amount of fruits and vegetables in the fridge and on the counter. I load them all, along with the bags of frozen vegetables and fruit, into a bin.

The master bedroom is neat and tidy with women's clothes in two sizes, small and large. But the picture on the bedside table of two women hugging, both in white wedding dresses, explains it. They seem very organized and have several sets of shampoos and conditioners unopened in the cupboard beneath their sink. I fill the small gym bag with it all, shrinking it down.

The second room is decorated as a nursery. There is a framed photo of an ultrasound as well as a photo of the two women with one obviously pregnant. But there are no pictures of the baby so it must not be born yet. Although the room is decorated in pale pink and creams so it's probably a girl.

I leave that room untouched and move to the next apartment. This one didn't have as healthy a selection as the last but not as much junk food as the first. There is also two first aid kits as well as a shoebox full of bandages and wraps and medicines that I take.

Sirius meets me in the hall, waving me into the one he left. He says we'll stay the night and hit the last two floors tomorrow. This apartment is junky, overflowing with stuff but not as dirty as I would expect.

"These guys have camping supplies that we'll take with us," he says, motioning to the various items piled on the couches.

Sirius transfiguers the skillet and stove into an open fire pit with a grate over the top. A spark shoots from his wand to burn. Then he takes two frozen pizzas from their boxes and puts them over the open flame to cook.

I leave him to cook while I look through the camping supplies. There are sleeping bags and tents and folding chairs. There's even a table top grill and a camping stove. I set to work shrinking them down and packing them away.


	4. One step forward

Chapter 4: one step forward

We finish the next two floors by early afternoon. That may have more to do with the fact that there are only six apartments on the second floor and only two on the first. Then we have to decide our next move.

"We should hit a store," Sirius suggests.

"Won't that be dangerous?" I ask nervously.

He shrugs, "We need weapons so a pawn shop or hunting store would be our best bet."

I chew my lip, almost afraid to ask, "Are we going to walk?"

He looks out on the street as he answers, "I can get one of these cars running, I'm sure."

We slip outside, hurrying to the nearest vehicle. It's an old red bulky truck with blood smears on the side. I slip onto the seat, sliding across so Sirius can get in.

He point his wand at the ignition, murmering a spell that produces a key. Then he just has to turn it and the thing sputters to life. It's louder than safe and has already gained the attention of the creatures along the street. So Sirius speeds off, hurrying to slip away from the threat.

We take streets and side streets. Backtracking and turning around. No matter which way we go, clusters of the not inferis things are everywhere. With an angry huff, Sirius presses down on the pedal and plows right through the crowd of them.

This was stupid! Neither of us know where we're going or what's out there. We need directions!

I scramble to grab the maps from my bag. We pass three streets and I'm able to narrow down where we are. Then I have him take a left and then an immediate right. 

That road is blocked halfway down by a herd of the not inferis so we turn sharply left. Then we go up two blocks, down the road two miles, and double back. That gets us to a hunting shop.

The building is dark brown with various advertisements visible behind the metal gate that's locked it up. Sirius turns down an ally behind it, scraping the sides just to wedge the truck in. Then he turns off the engine, vanishes the front window, and we scramble out.

The not inferis are already banging on the back of the truck as well climb off the front. There's a door to the back of the hunting shop just ahead. A hurried spell gets us into a pitch black room.

I light up my wand, casting the room in a yellow glow. It's a storage room of some kind. Sirius starts shrinking the boxes, passing them into his pack as he does. Then we move together to the other door.

The inside of the store is still dark. Various shelves block any clear line of sight and cast the whole place in shadows. We stay together as we search the aisles.

Most of the stuff is things we don't need. We do take a couple fishing poles and a tackle box. And they have tents and camping supplies that we take. 

We shrink down all of the coolers, the large ones, that we can use later. The we head to the L shaped counter that has the guns. Sirius takes over stuffing them in a gym bag, as well as every box of bullets that he can find.

"I can carve runes in the barrel to muffle the sounds," he promises as he works.

I notice a display of crossbows and compound bows. I don't have the strength for the compound but the crossbow should work. Several are bulky heavy things but there is a pink camouflage one as well as two smaller ones, for kids maybe? I grab one of each as well as all of the arrows.

Sirius comes over with a gun in a leather holster. He pulls my belt free enough to slip the holster on, leaving it on my left hip. Once it's secure he tells me to practice drawing it with my left hand.

It isn't easy. When I draw with my right he corrects me, "Your right is your wand hand, your dominate hand, so the gun goes on your left."

I practice drawing it with my left. It feels awkward and clumsy. The draw slow and it takes a moment to get it aimed and leveled. But I keep repeating the motions again and again.

Sirius keeps out a shotgun and two hand guns similar to the one I have. The rest are stuffed on the gym bag and shrunken. I do the same with all but one of the crossbows, a smaller black one, and a hand full of arrows. I find a leather quiver in the display case, it's decorated with vines along the edges and a howling wolf motif but it works so I take it.

We go through the store again. This time we take air mattresses, a larger tent, and all of the camping cookware that they have. There isn't any food in here but there are books on living 'off grid' so I grab those.

Sirius says we'll need to make a run for it but not to the truck. That thing was way too loud. Instead, he will vanish the metal gate and we'll go out the front.

"What about traveling by rooftops?" I ask, a bit too worried about the diseased crowding the street.

He laughs, slapping my back and complimenting my plan. With a sudden squeezing sensation, like being pulled through a tube, we disappear from the shop and reappear on the roof opposite. It's easier to see from here and thankfully the diseased aren't on the rooftops.

We spend a few minutes going over the few maps I have. We'll need more maps soon, ones that cover more, but for now these will work. And there's a superstore just down the road a ways. Sirius suggests we head there. 


	5. A silenced cry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning; 
> 
> baby killed in this chapter
> 
> You can skip if you want

Chapter 5: a silenced cry

Weeks blur together. We end up camping in an old pharmacy for a few days and another apartment building for a week. Soon enough, a month has passed since we've been here.

We haven't left the city. I think Sirius is afraid to leave honestly. Either that or he's having too much fun.

We've been greedy, gatherin everything we can. The superstore was already picked over and had several diseased inside. But Sirius had already carved the runes in the guns to quiet them so we shot them when they got close.

It's wierd too. The diseased, they only stay dead when you hit the brain. Hell, Sirius chopped off the head of one and the damn thing was still snapping it's teeth at us. So we learnt quickly to always aim for the head.

The superstore had a large frozen section that was safe. They must have a backup generator that's keeping everything going for it all to work. And we found several coolers and plastic bins that we used to hold and preserve all of the food. We even filled two bins with loaves of bread that was still good.

There was a camping section. We grabbed lanterns, knives, and a compass. Then we emptied the medicine and first aid supplies. All of those were stuffed in various suitcases and bags, then shrunk and tucked away in one of our backpacks.

Sirius even dragged me off to the clothes and told me to grab everything I like. I filled one large gym bag, Sirius filled two. Then we had to leave because there were just too many undead around. Far too many dead and not another living soul that we've seen in days.

We hit a few more big stores, clearing out all of the food and medical supplies while we could. The undead we're too numerous for us to stay long and we had quite a few close calls. But we also have our backpacks filled to burst with shrunken and preserved supplies.

Sirius has gotten bold, or maybe bored. He suggests we drive around the streets a bit, see what we see. It sounds like trouble to me but he's nearly bouncing in place so I agree.

We claim a white work van, the back full of boxes that we shove out. We tuck our bags in the back, behind the seats, and climb in. The he drives, smiling like this is some kind of roadtrip.

The roads still have plenty of undead. Although they also tend to crowd together in areas leaving some streets mostly clear. We keep the windows up, the air conditioning on as we drive.

An intersection ahead has a group of the undead stumbling across. They stall, confused if they want to pursue us or whatever originally lured them out. Then I hear it, a high pitched cry.

I'm out of the van before my brain forms the word baby. My gun comes up, taking down the ones that have stalled in the intersection. Then I'm running forward past them.

There's more here, two dozen maybe. All crowded around a blue car. A few of them are still pulling and eating at a mass of red meat and white bones on the road beside the car.

I start firing headshots as I run. My gun clicks empty far too soon. I press the button, ejecting the clip, and sliding a new one in. Then I pull the top back, loading a bullet in the chamber and start firing again.

This one also clicks empty. There are four more left so I pull my knife from my side, a large heavy blade that's as long as my forearm. And I aim for the eyes and temples.

The cryin hasn't stopped and more undead are coming down the street. I glance behind me to see more dead. But the van isn't there. Sirius isn't there. He didn't follow me?

I shake it off. Something must've held him up or he would be here now. I turn back to the car to see a baby screaming in a seat, tiny fists shaking in the air. 

I hurry to open the door. It takes a minute to undo the clasps and pull the baby out. It's a small floppy thing, probably only a few months old. Then I reach further for the baby bag on the seat.

Fearful brown eyes blink up at me beneath a mass of curly pale hair. There's another kid. Tucking the baby close I call the boy out.

He's quiet, even as tears streak down his cheeks. And it takes a barked order for him to move. But he does climb over the baby seat. I pull him out, holding tight to his arm as I pull him to run with me.

The diseased are close, far too close. And the boy tries to turn back but I pull him forward. We hurry around the corner to see the van still sitting there. 

There are no undead crowding it. There's nothing blocking it's path. So why didn't he follow?

I pull the boy to hurry along. The passenger door is still open from when I jumped out. So I lift the boy up, ordering him to the back. And I climb in with the baby still held close.

Sirius frowns over at us. I have to shout at him to get him to drive. And when he does he still looks disgruntled.

I try to calm the baby, bouncing it softly. It doesn't calm down. Sirius takes a sharp turn, speeding up as undead blur past.

My hand slams the dashboard, barely catching myself as he slams on the brakes. He reverses quickly, then turns sharply down another road. Another sudden stop and another quick turn around. Then he stops the van, cutting off the engine as it faces the street from an alleyway.

"Get in the back, stay down and quiet," he orders.

I climb in the back, the screaming baby still held close. I pull the diaper bag with me. Sirius turns in his seat, motioning for the baby. I pass him over so I can empty the bag. Surely something in here will silence him.

A motorized sound is followed by the baby's cry getting quieter. Almost immediately after there's a loud thunk and another motorized sound. I blink up dumbly as Sirius climbs in the back, pushing me further.

Where?

What did he do?

Where is...

He doesn't have the baby! It's still screaming, louder shrieks now. Looking out the front window I see one of the undead holding a tiny arm. The crying cuts off. 

Did he?

Did he throw the baby outside? Did he throw the baby to those things? What?

He shoves my backpack into my arms, his own already on his back. And suddenly I know what he plans. He plans to apparate us away.

I scramble back, throwing the pack away from me. He reaches for me and I slap his hands away. I can't breathe! He... he...

"How could you?!" I hiss, kicking at him to keep him away.

"It would've gotten us killed!" He snaps back, glancing nervously at the undead pawing at the front of the van.

My stomach rolls, I struggle to swallow it back down. I grab the boy, hugging him close. Because if I let go then Sirius will leave him to the damned as well.

He tries to reason. Hissed words pleading with me to understand, "I was protecting us. It would've gotten us all killed. I had no choice."

I don't believe it! I want to yell and scream and rage. I want to throw up, sickened and ashamed of what hes done. All i can do is cry.

He tries again and again to draw me closer. I kick at him, shoving us further away from him. The front window cracks as the diseased bang harder to get in.

"Please, Puppy," he pleads, "just come with me. I'll keep you safe."

I shake my head, choking and gasping. The front window shatters. With a pale face and pained eyes he stares at me a moment, then apparates away with a loud bang.

The dead are crawling in the broken window, pushing and shoving the webbed glass aside. I grab my pack, slipping it on and snatching up the boy. Then I kick open the back of the van and run.

Two undead where at the back of the van, both stumble back as I shove my way out. The boy clings tightly to me, thin arms clasped around my neck and thin legs tucked close. I run as fast as I can.

The next street has a group of undead stumbling towards the alley. No doubt they were drawn by the pop of apparition. I race past them, dodging their hands.

"Here!" A voice shouts.

I glance around searching for the voice but unwilling to stop. There's a young guy, Asian, waving from a fire escape. I run towards him, hoping he can help.

The ladder is down but there are undead close. I stab the two nearest and scramble up the ladder. Halfway up something grabs my ankle. I kick back wildly, dislodging the hand. 

A few more seconds get me up to the first landing. The boy is still clinging tightly, too terrified to raise his head. But he has a good grip on me so I hurry up the next ladder.

"Holy shit," the Asian guy exclaims, "That was fucking insane!"

I nod, unable to form words. He pats my shoulder, his own eyes probably as wide as mine. It was insane. And close, far too close.

The smell of urine hits me before I notice the wetness down my front. I have a moment of confusion where I wonder if it was me. But the boy whimpers pitifully.

I rub his back, reassuring him that its okay and I'll keep him safe. He trembles and whimpers but he stays quiet, barely making a sound. I settle down to rest a moment, doing my best to reassure him. 


	6. The quarry

Chapter 6: the quarry

The Asian guy's name is Glenn. Apparently he only comes into the city for supplies. He stays with a group at something called a quarry. I'm not entirely sure what that is but when he offers to take us back with him I agree.

He travels mostly on rooftops when he can. We do slip down a fire escape, two blocks over, and hurry across the street just to climb to another roof. But traveling the roofs is the safest way to get through the city. And it only takes a half hour for us to reach his car, a grey four door thing.

The drive doesn't take that long. We follow the interstate for a while, then cross over to follow signs for a campgrounds. The ground rises up, a large hill with various stopoffs along the way. Glenn drives us all the way to the top.

The people glance up as the car stops. Some look curious while others look suspicious. Glenn gets out with a nervous laugh, hurrying to explain what happened to a man with dark curly hair and a large hooked nose.

I rub the boys back. He fell asleep not long into the drive. Probably exhausted from everything that happened. I still don't know his name but I haven't told him mine either.

I jump when the door opens. An older black woman with long thin arms hesitates in the doorway. Her voice soft, cooing as she calls, "It's alright now, hunny, you can come out."

I glance around again, almost afraid of so many people in one place. But I slip out, letting the woman guide me over to the group of people all sitting in front of an old RV. She introduces them, telling me their names as she points them out.

An older white man with a short white beard is named Dale. He owns the RV. And the two blondes are Andrea and Amy, sisters. He hovers over them like a concerned father but no one said they're relayed so they may not be. I nod to each.

The man with the curly dark hair is Shane. He's the one leading this group. With him is a woman with long brown hair named Lori and a yound boy named Carl who both say hello.

There's a woman with short cut blonde hair and wary blue eyes named Carol. She has a daughter named Sophia who stays close to her side. Her husband Ed is the grumpy man smoking in front of a tent a bit away.

A strong black man is introduced as T dog. A Hispanic man is named Morales. Morales has a wife and two children who offer hesitant smiles.

The black woman is named Jackie. She waves briefly to two harsh looking men butchering a few rabbits further away. The younger one with short blond hair and an angry scowl is Daryl. The older larger man with steel blue eyes and an angry smirk is Merle.

"I'm Harry," I offer softly, unused to so much noise.

Mrs. Jackie must realize that because she motions me to a chair nearby. I slip off my pack, setting it at my feet as I sit down. I can't let them go through it because they won't believe what's in it. 

Mrs. Carol passes over a bowl of watery soup. The boy wakes up, tensing as he realizes how many new people are around us. It takes a lot of urging to get him to turn sideways in my lap. Then I hand him the bowl, still too sick to eat it myself.

Jackie tries to talk to him. With some prompting he admits his name, "Thorin."

She blinks surprised at the name but smiles all the same. He sips at the soup, refusing to relinquish his hold on me. But at least he seems to be calming down.

"Hand over the gun."

I blink around confused. Shane, the leader here, is staring down sternly at me with his hands on his hips. It takes a moment to process what he said. When it does I can't help but ask incredulously, "What?"

The sniffs haughtily, "Guns are dangerous, not toys, so pass it over."

Dangerous? Not toys? What? I tell him, "It's mine."

He leans forward, frowning as he states, "You can't be running around with a loaded gun, son, so hand it over."

I glance around at the others but they don't comment. Surely he doesn't take their weapons. Surely he doesn't leave them defenseless. 

"My godfather gave me this gun," I tell him, letting a hint of steel steady my voice. "And you can pry it from my corpse when I'm dead but not a second before."

Hooting laughter erupts from the two rough brothers. The elder clapping his hands in amusement. It does nothing to endear me to the leader but it does break the tension.

Shane tries again but the older man, Dale, calls him away with a softly worded, "If the gun is an heirloom we can't very well take it. Especially if it's all he has from his godfather."

Shane continues to frown but does back down with a disappointed sigh. I ignore him, focusing on Thorin instead. He had tensed when Shane came over but now that the man isn't hovering he's back to eating his soup.

Dale approaches slowly to offer, "We don't have an extra tent but you boys can rest in our RV."

"I have one in my pack," I reassure him.

Once Thorin finishes his soup I pass the empty bowl back to Mrs. Carol. Then I scoop Thorin up and carry him over to the side where Glenn says I can set up my tent. Thank goodness my backpack is a big hiking one otherwise no one would believe it could hold a tent.

I block the view of my pack and mutter a quick summoning spell to pull up a small tent. I resize it while it's still somewhat hidden so it will look like it's being pulled out. It's a small red and black tent folded small.

Glenn comes over to help me set it up. Between the two of us we get it set up quickly. Then I crawl in with Thorin, telling them we're going to rest.


	7. Fitting in

Chapter 7: fitting in

We hid in the tent all afternoon. I pulled out one of the air mattresses, hoping no one would see or question it. I also pulled two large sleeping bags for us to use.

Mrs. Jackie brought us two bowls of food at supper. It was just a stew made from rabbit meat and some canned vegetables but it was good.

It's clear that these people don't have much but the fact that they're willing to share says they're good people. So when morning comes I slip out of the tent with my pack to 'search for supplies'. They shouldn't ask too many questions.

Thorin didn't sleep well last night, not that I blame him. So he woke easily when I got up. He's been clingy since I found him but he's also quiet. Somehow I don't think the quiet is healthy but hopefully he'll get better. It's not like I know anything about how to help him through this.

He insists on following me, his hand fisted in the leg of my jeans. We take our time walking down the hill, mostly because hes small and I don't want him getting too tired. He told me that he's three years old but he doesn't know his birthday. 

We move cautiously as we reach the end of the road, where it meets the interstate. There are several cars here abandoned, more as you get closer to the city. No doubt Glenn has already checked these cars so I turn the other way, further from the city. I don't actually need to find supplies, just waste some time until we can go back.

We walk for fifteen minutes along the road. There are no people, living or diseased. And Thorin is already getting tired so we will turn back soon.

We rest a moment in the open trunk of a red SUV. The keys are still there and blood has gone rotten black where it stains the seat. The smell is horrendous but it's also become a common smell in this world.

There's isn't any supplies but I have my pack. I cast a summon for a bag of food. A few dozen jump up so I don't hold the spell for more than a second. I still end up with a hand full of marble sized bags.

Thorin watches curiously, his fingers still twisted in my shirt. So I hold out my hand, telling him, "Pick one and I'll show you a magic trick."

He shuffles closer, pressing against my arm as he peers closely at them. Poking them with a single finger at first, then he grows bolder and starts picking them up. He releases my shirt, taking the shrunken bags and laying them out on the floor between us.

I don't rush him. This is the most animated he's been since I found him. He shuffles them around, moving them and lining them up. I sit back, letting him play.

The sun rises higher, the air getting hotter. The road is still clear for now but we should start heading back. I glance over at Thorin, now stacking the shrunken bags into what may be a pyramid shape.

I try to prompt him again, "If you pick one then I can show you a trick."

He blinks up surprised. He probably forgot that there was anything more than just these items to see. He needs toys to play with, something small like building blocks or something. He also needs more clothes.

I never grabbed toys, there wasn't a need. Maybe I'll ask Glenn when we get back to camp. If nothing else, he may be willing to go on a run with me.

Thorin holds up a red bag with a white logo on the side. I set it down and clear the area to give it room. Then, checking that he's watching, I cast the spell to resize it.

He gasps, eyes wide in wonder. I motion him forward, encouraging him to explore. He pokes it, jumping back immediately. Then he slides closer for a better look.

"Open it," I encourage him.

He tugs at the zipper to open the bag. Small hands push in and pull out a small bag of chips. I open it further to see all kinds of snacks. This will be good but we need to take real food back with us. At his prompting, I open the bag of chips for him to snack on.

"Pick another one," I nudge him, pointing at the pile of remaining bags. 

With an eager grab he passes me two miniature bags. I put the first bag out on the road to make room and resize the next two. He eagerly opens them, excited at the display of magic. The second bag has canned food while the third has oatmeal and breakfast bars. 

I pass him a breakfast bar as I clean up. The other shrunken bags go back in my pack which I slip on. Then I have to juggle three more bags. Thorin climbs down, offering to help. 

I let him pull the first bag since it's the lightest of the three. The other two I carry. Heading back isn't easy. We go slow, stopping every few minutes. So it takes us almost an hour just to reach the turnoff from the interstate.

"Well, lookey here," a deep voice drawls.

My gun is up and aimed even before I see him. Steel blue eyes regard us, looking us over with a cautious eye. It's enough to make me falter even before I remember who he is. Merle, his name is Merle.

Thorin had immediately released the bag he was dragging, ducking behind my legs to hide the moment he heard his voice. I breath out, relaxing now that I at least know who he is. And he's not threatening. The way he looked us over might have been concerned.

"Merle, right?" I ask even as I already know.

He nods, commenting almost accusingly, "No one knew where y'all went off to."

"We went to look for supplies," I offer as explaination even if it should be obvious.

I click the safety back on the gun, reholstering it. He grins amused, "You're mighty quick with that thing, aint ya?"

I shrug, unsure what to do now. I don't think he's a threat but he isn't exactly friendly. And Thorin is still hiding, afraid of the large man.

He lumbers forward, snatching up the bags that Thorin and I dropped. Bouncing them he grins, "Damn, y'all found some goodies, huh?"

We move quicker with the lighter load. Thorin still clings tightly to my leg, hiding his face each time Merle glances back at us. And Merle doesn't stay quiet, he talks.

He talks about the people at camp, very rudely. And I'm pretty sure some of what he says is either exaggerated or prejudice. He just can't seem to keep quiet although his voice never gets very loud.

When we crest the last hill to the campsite it's under a hot noon sun. Glenn rushes over worriedly, his words stumbling out so fast I can barely understand him. But I understand enough to know he was worried about us.

"Lookey what the kids found!" Merle calls loudly, holding up the two bags he carries and dumping them on the table by the RV.

Carol and the younger blonde, Amy I think, open the bags. Both exclaim excitedly over all the food. I pass the third bag to Glenn with a sheepish shrug. 

"Where'd you find all of this?" Andrea asks, somehow sounding impressed and offended.

"Found an SUV, wet blood on the side and in the driver's seat," I lie. "These were in the back."

A few frown in sympathy but they're all too pleased with the food to care much. Jackie passes me two plates which I guess was our portion of lunch. There's a small scoop of Mac and cheese, some corn, and a small pile of mashed potatoes. I offer a thanks, directing Thorin to sit down and eat.

Shane and Lori come up from the tree line. Both frowning disapprovingly at me as they pass. Shane even tries again to order me to hand over my gun. I scoff loudly, ignoring the order.

"He's a damn fast draw," Merle taunts Shane. "Might wanna leave em alone for you get riddled with holes."

He sounds far too amused as he threatens their leader. Not that I care much. Shane doesn't really seem like a good leader to me. But I also don't want in the middle of their fight.

There is one thing I can try that might shut him up. So I call out, "Pick a target."

Both turn angrily towards me. I hadn't realized their argument was escalating. But maybe if I prove I can shoot them he'll back off. So I repeat myself.

Merle laughs, taking a card off the table and walking to the tree line. With exaggerated motions he stabs a knife into the top of the card, impaling it on a tree. The he sauters back, far too amused.

I glance around, checking that everyone is accounted for. There are more people but they don't seem to go far from their tents. And another check of the area Merle chose shows no people around. Plus the tree itself will stop the bullet from going further.

Still, I don't want accidents. So I draw my gun, calling out, "Shooting in three... two... one."

I pull the trigger, enjoying their shock at the silent pop that's only barely heard. I click the safety back on and put it back in the holster. The I glance back at Shane who's watching me incredulously.

"The gun is modified with a built in silencer," I lie to explain the lack of noise.

Merle whistles, having seen the shot. Shane huffs, stomping over to the tree only to freeze when he sees the card. It was an ace of hearts, a large red heart in the center. The bullet pierced the dead center of the heart.

Part of the accuracy is because wizards and witches are naturally good at hand eye coordination. But most of it is down to magic. Because Sirius didn't just carve runes to silence the gun. He also carved runes to improve aim and accuracy.

Thorin and I finish out lunch in peace. Shane watching me thoughtful, glancing often at the tree where the card is still stuck. The others have gone to look as well, impressed and pleased.

Thorin shifts in his seat, restless. And I remember what I meant to ask Glenn. So I wave him over, asking if he knows where I could get some toys for Thorin as well as clothes.

He frowns thoughtful as he answers, "I'm going back to the city tomorrow. We need women's stuff mostly. You can come too if you want."

I agree, so long as I can find someone to watch Thorin for me. Jackie overheard us and quickly agrees to watch him. I still need something to occupy him today.

Carl, a boy with short brown hair and blue eyes, comes over with two cars in hand. He offers both to Thorin with a friendly, "You can play with these for now if you want."

Thorin lights up, beaming back happily as he takes the cars. I smile, offering a thank you and a promise to return them later. He goes back to his mother who commends him for sharing while still looking troubled when she glances our way.


	8. A simple walk

Chapter 8: A simple walk

Its different, staying at the quarry. I learnt that this isn't isolated to this city or even just this country. This illness is worldwide. And they've been calling the diseased undead, geeks. I'm not sure why but it's the name they use.

There hasn't been many that these people have seen. Which may explain a lot about their attitudes. None of them are attempting to learn weapons or basic defense. They haven't been stocking up supplies, only sending out as they need. They havent even put up any defenses around the campgrounds, not even warning lines.

I tried to bring it up at dinner since that's when everyone is around. No one wanted to listen. Shane actually told me to quit worrying. He said we're safe here. And these people believe him.

I've suggested putting up some kind of fence but he says we don't have the supplies or tools for that. I suggested warning lines, trip wires attached to bells. He said they would make too much noise. 

I tried suggesting we bring in more supplies, stock up. He argues that Glenn can only carry so much. I try to tell him that we should send a group out. Somehow that worked. Although it may have more to do with Andrea butting in to volenteer to go.

Then Merle said he would go, insulting both Andrea and Glenn as he did so. This had T dog jumping up to volenteers. Apparently he doesn't trust Merle alone with the other two. 

Jackie volunteered to go to keep the peace. Morales volunteered as backup for T dog. Both of them speaking up as Merle called T dog some horrible names that almost dissolved into a fistfight.

I volunteered but by that point Shane was angry so he refused, saying they had more than enough. So instead I took Thorin out into the woods to look for berries. No one but the Dixons have bothered to go far into the woods and they usually go the other way. So it should be believable enough for us to come back with some fruit.

Thorin has a small backpack, blue and green with green dinosaur spikes on the back. It buckles twice across his chest and has a leash that hangs from the bottom. I tie the leash to my belt before we head out.

He still holds my leg as we walk. I've tried to reassure him that I won't leave him since I think that's the issue. He settles calmer each time I say it but he does still either cling to my leg or keep a fist in my shirt. So tying the leash to me is more for his benefit.

Glenn was the one to find the leash backpack when i went with him our third day here. I also grabbed several sets of clothes, a blue backpack with cartoon dogs that he likes, and several toys. The clothes fit him well, Glenn helped me find the right size.

I've been letting him pick his outfit for the day. Hopefully it will help him feel more secure. Today he chose the khaki shorts and a yellow top with a dinosaur on it to go with his dino pack. He's been roaring like a dino since we started our walk, waving the plastic hippo toy around as he does. All while still holding onto me.

I didn't bring my pack this time. Mostly so I can use it to find my way back to camp if we get lost. The point me spell requires magic to find magic, like pulling to like. So the shrunken bags in my warded pack will be what leads us back.

I do have two shrunken coolers in my pocket. One has sandwich meat and bread so we can have a little lunch away from the others. The second one has various fruits, mostly berries.

The woods here are nice and bright, nothing like the forbbiden forest at school. There's plenty of shrubs and bushes but never so thick that you can't get through. In fact, for all that there is no trail, it's easy to wonder through with a clear line of sight only slightly shaded.

We walk for an hour before we stop. Neither of us are tired, we kept a slow pace, but I don't want to get too far out. And there are several clearing around that we can stop at.

The one we choose is small, barely bigger than a car. The grass isn't tall, barely ankle high, and the trees surrounding it are young and thin. So we slump down in the grass to rest and relax.

He stops when I do, settling down beside me. His toy hippo moving back and forth in the grass like a car. He's even making vroom noises as he plays so he may be pretending it's a car. 

I enlarge both coolers that I brought. The runes hold so long as they remain unblemished. If they get scratched then the runes will fail. Thankfully both are still active.

I open the first. It's one of the ones from the apartment building so there's sandwich meats and cheese as well as bread and juice. I use the other cooler as a table as I make us both a sandwich.

Thorin looks over curiously, leaning against the cooler to see inside. He loudly asks for juice so I hand one over. It's a pouch drink with little plastic straws attached that you stab into it to drink. He doesn't even hesitate so he must know how it works. 

We eat while he tells me a story. At least I think it's a story. In his excitement, some of his words blur together. I know their were pirates involved. And something they did made him laugh while he was telling me. But I couldn't for the life of me figure out what it was.

The day may be hot but we're in the shade and our drinks are cold. He's more animated than I've ever seen him. I can't stop smiling back because it's proof that he's healing, he's bouncing back. It's a relief when compared to the far too quiet child he's been.

I open the fruit cooler next. He snatches up a bag of small oranges. They're easy to peal and he eats two of them before curiously looking through the rest. We share a peach and a pear, although I eat most of both. 

"What do you think?" I ask. "Should we take back some blackberries?"

He pulls out three plastic cases, passing each over to me. We put the rest back, sealing and reshrinking the coolers. He laughs, clapping his hands excitedly at the show of magic.

I tap my chin thoughtfully, exaggerating the motion for his amusement. He giggles, mimicking me. I ask him, "What should we carry them in?"

He hums, tapping his chin and looking around thoughtfully. He points to his shoe. I laugh and tell him no. He point to a rock and a tree and his tummy. Each time we laugh as I tell him no.

I suggest his dino backpack which he agrees. So I empty the cases into the pack, tossing the plastic away since having them would cause questions. Then we head back, going slow and gazing around as we walk.

We got sidetracked at one point watching a bunny hopping in the grass. There were also several birds flitting back and forth as well as squirrels jumping between branches that made him gasp in wonder. 

There was a wierd moment where we heard a car alarm blaring. We move further from the sound even as it seems to get closer. What idiot is blaring an alarm? Don't they know it will just draw the diseased like moths to a flame? But after a while it shuts off.

We make it back to camp late in the afternoon. There's a white cube van as well as a shiny red car that are both new. Everyone is gathered around the main campfire so we head over. 

No one looks particularly upset so I don't think anyone died. In fact, everyone looks pleased. And there's a new guy in a tan cop uniform with a large brown hat. Both Carl and his mother Lori are hanging all over the guy so maybe he's the boys dad. 

Although I don't know why no one is mentioning that Lori was with Shane. Was she not supposed to be? An affair maybe? So is everyone going to pretend they just don't know? 

Oh well, it's not my place either. I nod a greeting to those gathered around the campfire. Carl enthusiasticly introduces his father, his hero by the sound of it. So I offer a polite greeting. 

Carol passes me and Thorin a plate of food before returning to her place beside her husband. I can't help but not like that man. He reminds me of uncle Vernon. But I also can't do anything about it so I ignore it like everyone else does. Besides, if I tried to get involved the others would stop me and he would hurt her worse.

The new guy, Rick, tells everyone how he woke up in the hospital. His story is an interesting one to be sure. And everyone listens intently as he speaks.

There's a shift in the group, a new dynamic formed. Where before Shane tried to hold himself up as the leader, that's no longer the case. Whether they realise it or not, these people have moved their focus to lift this guy up. 

He must notice. Surely he can feel the shift. He's already responding to it, rising up in their eyes and holding their attention. He doesn't raise his voice but they listen all the same.

I hand over the blackberries. There's a lot of laughter as everyone sees them. Fruit isn't exactly something we have a lot of these days. We pour them into a bowl which gets passed around so everyone can have a few to snack on.

Thorin and I call it an early night. I'm still not comfortable around so many people and neither is Thorin. So we slip into our tent where I can cast a mild cooling charm and he can play in relative comfort.


	9. A bad morning

Chapter 9: a bad morning

Thorin tosses a lot in his sleep. It makes it difficult to really sleep but he doesn't mean any harm. It also doesn't help that the air mattress moves each time we shift or turn.

Early morning is usually cool and quiet, today being the same. I've been spending the time sorting and organizing my supplies. That way it will be easier to pull out supplies when I need them. When Glenn and I went for supplies for Thorin, I found several drawstring bags. 

One is a dark purple velvet that I used to hold the chilled containers of food. Another is a dark red cloth, somewhat shiny, that I filled with dry foods stuffs. A bright red one with a cartoon character on the front has all of the extra shrunken toys and clothes for Thorin. Then there is a multishaded grey one, camo print I think, that I put all of the medical supplies in. The last is a black cotton that I put the weapons in. 

Once I got them sorted and repacked it was easier to find certain things. I still use summoning spells, just on the individual bags instead of a mixed mess of them. It should also help protect them from getting lost or damaged. 

I keep them all stuffed in the bottom of my pack, beneath two sets of clothes to hide them. Although there are several spells Sirius put on the packs to protect them. Only the most determined will even be able to pay attention to it.

I ignore the pain in my chest at the reminder of my godfather. I still can't believe what he did. It's not like we didn't have other choices! We could've silenced the van or apparates us all away. Why in the world would he even think... I just don't understand.

Thorin still has nightmares about it. It's not as bad as when we first got here but he does still wake crying. The only thing that calms him down is when I hold him.

He doesn't talk much, especially when we're around the others. I don't know if it's his age or fear or what. So most days I take him out to walk and play in the woods. That's when he's most active, the most animated. 

Although he has gotten better with Jackie. He runs to me if Shane or Lori comes near, either Dixon as well. But he seems to like Dale, Jackie, and T dog. Carl and Sophia too although they don't play with him often.

I make a bowl of cereal for me and Thorin. Even with the food I gave the group, it doesn't stretch far. So I wake Thorin early, handing over the food. That way he at least gets enough to eat. And the milk will do him good.

The tent we have is small, only a one person tent. There's barely enough room for the twin sized air mattress to be stuffed in. Our packs are tucked into the corners to either side of the entrance, leaving only a small area clear. 

I do keep a mild cooling charm on the inside but we can't stay in it long without drawing unwanted attention. So as soon as the others start to move around we slip out of the tent. The area around the tent is level, the ground clear, so Thorin plays here while I keep watch.

Carol and Jackie work together to get oatmeal made for breakfast. Lori wonders up in time to pass out bowls, acting as always as if she were the one to cook it. I roll my eyes at the foolishness of her behavior but I don't comment.

There's an odd sort of tension in the air. I can't see the cause although T dog seems the most affected. His shoulders slump guiltily as he keeps glancing towards the woods. I look around again but no one else seems overly bothered.

Andrea and Amy are giggling, something small passing between them. Morales is huddled near his tent with his family close. They're tense but not upset, more like theyre waiting for something.

Kids scream. Carl and Sophia shouting for help. Several people run off, Rick and Shane in the lead. Thorin runs to me, scrambling into my lap fearfully. I draw my gun just in case but they probably have it handled.

Carol and Lori return with their kids held close. Lori telling everyone that there was a walker but Rick handled it. Carl then hurried to regale everyone with their adventure. Sophia clings tighter to her mother, probably because they went further than they should've gone.

Daryl's voice shouts over the camp, calling his brother. There is no answer although everyone has stopped what they're doing to stare. He calls again, aggravated.

Both Rick and Shane follow him, calling to him to wait. Guilty looks are traded among the group, T dog being the worse. Something bad happened. This won't end well.

"He dead?" Daryl demands, tense like a coiled snake.

"We don't know."

"Either he is or he aint!" Daryl snarls back.

I turn to T dog, asking, "What happened?"

He looks pained. But Rick is already explaining. They left Merle behind, left him in the city. And not just left him, because that's not bad enough. They chained him up first. Chained and left to die, and the idiot just confessed as much to Daryl.

The fight was inevitable. They never should've confronted him like this. Of course he would lash out, they as good as murdered his brother.

T dog tried to help. He said that he chained the door. He says Merle should be safe, still there and waiting. 

Then everyone is shouting about who should and shouldn't go. Lori's comment about Merles life not being worth it, even with guns, shouldn't be as much of a shock as it is. It's still disgusting to hear how willing she is to throw away a life just because she doesn't like the guy.

Daryl take a off running for his truck. No... He's running for the hill. And an engine is rumbling loudly. But not a car or truck.

A motorcycle crests the hill. The large form easily identifiable as Merle. Daryl nearly tackles him to the ground as soon as he reaches him.

Another comes up behind him. Familiar black hair, grey eyes searching. It's Sirius! His eyes find me and I'm frozen, unable to turn.

Thorin shoves himself back into my lap, whimpering terrified. I hold him close. My breaths come shaky, my chest tight. This can't be happening! I can't deal with this right now!

"Hey, Pup."


	10. Sirius fits in well

Chapter 10: Sirius fits in well

Merle and Daryl caused enough of a scene that no one paid attention to Sirius approaching me. Both brothers turn angrily on the group. The group replies with equal venom, mostly from Shane and Andrea.

Sirius kneels in front of me, grey eyes pleading more than his voice as he says, "I know I hurt you, I know I have no right to ask, but please forgive me."

I shake my head, words locked in my throat and my chest tight. Thorin trembles in my lap. His face burrows into my side to hide.

"Please, Pup," Sirius pleads softly, "I made a mistake, a huge mistake. I know that."

He leans closer, laying his hands on my knees. His voice pained as he nearly begs, "Forgive me, please, I panicked. All I could think was I need to keep you safe."

I sniff, struggling to swallow down the tears. I look away, searching the crowd even as I know I will find no help. I just need to look away from him.

Merle and Daryl are facing off against the rest. Hateful words tossed back and forth while Dale and Rick try to make peace. For all that they're loud and angry there isn't any real threat of violence.

"Pup, Harry, please," Sirius pleads.

I look back at him uncertainly. I can't help the fear I feel, the horror at what he did. But he looks so mournful, so sincere. Maybe he does regret it.

Can I forgive him? Should I? It all happened so fast. Maybe he did panic. Maybe he does regret it.

But he murdered a baby! How could that have ever occurred to him? How do I look at him without cringing?

"I'm sorry, Pup, I swear," he pleads, pressing closer to me.

I'm crying, shaking. Sirius strokes my arms, whispering soothing to me as I break down in histerics. Thorin trembles in my lap, still afraid.

The argument breaks up, Merle and Daryl stomping off to their fire still cursing the group. Rick and Dale motion the others back. Its only then that they seem to notice Sirius.

Rick moves over demanding answers. Sirius looks around, offering a watery smile as he answers, "This is my godson."

That causes a burst of questions from nearly everyone. Sirius stands, sending me another pleading look as he does. He's asking me to back him here. I don't know what to do.

Sirius explains, "We were in the city, you see, when they dropped the bombs."

Several sympathetic looks are passed at that. The group is already relaxing, already accepting him. I hug Thorin tighter, struggling to breath past the tightness in my chest.

"We've been there ever since," he tells them. "Neither of us know this country so we don't know where to go. We've just been managing day to day the best we could."

Dale is quick to commend him, "It isn't easy in a whole other country, especially with all that's happened. You've done well, son."

Sirius smiles at him. He continues his story, "We got seperate by a herd. I saw an Asian kid helping Harry get away."

Many in the group throw pleased looks at Glenn who ducks his head bashfully. Dale claps his shoulder proudly. T dog slaps his back proudly.

Sirius laughs, sounding relieved when he tells them, "When I saw him again with others I tried to get to you all. But by the time I got into the building, you had already left." 

Here he shakes his head ruefully, adding, "I heard Merle shouting from the roof so I went to help him. He lead me back here."

Rick steps forward, commenting, "I'm glad that you've found your family, I know what it's like to not know where they are."

He offers his hand which Sirius takes, shaking with a relieved smile. Others move forward to introduce themselves, several shaking his hand. Lori jumps in, pointing to those that don't approach, telling him their names in a self important way.

My stomach rolls unpleasantly. I struggle to calm my crying, choking down the tears. My head feels heavy and dizzy from all the crying.

Sirius kneels in front of me again. His eyes pleading as he promises, "It won't happen again, Pup. I'll keep you safe from now on, I swear."

I want to lash out at him. But I also want to hug him close. He's all I have, my true family. And if I can forgive the Dursleys then I can forgive him. Can't I?

It takes a while for me to calm down. Sirius steps away, giving me space to calm down. It helps some but I still feel that tight panic weighing heavy on my chest.

Glenn helps Sirius set up a tent next to mine. He's already smiling and laughing with several people. It's not a surprise. He's charming when he wants to be and they're foolish enough to judge on appearances. It's why they don't like the Dixons.

Sirius even offers them a bag of canned goods which does well to warm them to him. He flirts with Andrea who glows, pleased with the attention. Dale frowns protectively but doesnt offer any objection.

I feel numb and confused. My head oddly empty. I still don't know what to do. I don't know if I should forgive him or not. I don't know if I should warm the others or not.

Maybe it was a mistake. But how do you mistakenly throw a baby to die? Why did he do it? Should I forgive him? Can I forgive him?

Thorin clings to me. Each time Sirius gets close, he flinches, hiding his face against me. No one has noticed. Or if they have, they aren't commenting on it.

My head throbs painfully. My mind is swirling with fears and doubts and second guesses. I don't know what to say to him so I don't say anything.


	11. An offer of protection

Chapter 11: an offer of protection

"Did I fuck up?" A gruff voice asks softly.

I flinch, looking around startled for the source of the voice. Merle lumbers forward, concern heavy on his face. I freeze, uncertain.

"You and the boy," he begins hesitantly, "You both flinch if he gets close. You're afraid of him."

I sniff, turning back to look over the water. The quarry is a calm, placid dark water with rocks rising up on the far shore. There are no ducks here but from time to time, fish will pop up enough to send out ripples.

The women are further down, washing clothes in the shallow while Ed watches. Further down is Shane with Carl trying to catch frogs. I think he's just trying to distract the kid since Rick went back into the city with Glenn and T dog.

Merle settles on the ground next to us, groaning as he does. It's not as comfortable here as it is further down. There are rocks here and the ground is uneven. But there are also trees and grass here that offer something like privacy. That's why I chose it.

Thorin stays firmly in my lap playing with plastic animals, refusing to budge an inch since Sirius showed up. I debated taking him for a walk in the woods but Sirius would've followed us. At least here we're close enough that he will watch without hovering or risking a scene.

"He said he was looking for his family," Merle explains quietly, looking out over the water as he does. "He described you. Said you was his. He seemed genuinely worried so I believed him."

Of course he seemed genuine. He does worry about me. He cares about me. He just did something aweful. How can I trust him again after that?

"He got me out," Merle continues, sounding somewhat guilty. "Only after I promised to bring him to you."

Buy why? He could've found me at any point. He has magic, the point me spell is easy to cast. So why demand Merle bring him? Unless...

He wanted to endear himself to the group. By returning a lost member, he could gain their trust. Or maybe he knew there would be a fight. Maybe he wanted the distraction it would cause. That way he would have the time to approach me, talk to me, without the others listening in.

"Did he hurt you?" Merle asks hesitantly, still not looking at me.

I give a jerky shake of the head. It wasn't me he hurt. He would never hurt me. But what he did was horrible.

"What did he do?" Merle asks softly, looking down at his hands in his lap as if they hold the answer.

"He," murdered an innocent life. He destroyed my trust. He terrified a little boy.

"He," wasn't happy when I jumped out to help them. He stayed back, leaving me to face the diseased by myself. He frowned, unhappy, when I returned with both kids.

"Thorin had a brother," so small and light, with a little plumb belly and chubby red cheeks. He was young, only a few months old. 

"A baby," he just needed to be calmed. He just needed to be protected, to feel safe. I could've taken care of him. I could've gotten him quiet. I'm sure of it.

"Sirius," took him from me. Took that innocent child. And not to calm him. Not to spell him silent either.

"He," murdered him without a care. 

"He," threw him out the window like a sack of trash. Didn't even hesitate. Didnt even flinch.

"The geeks," tore him apart. That tiny body torn to pieces so quickly. The cry stopping so suddenly.

My breath shudders out. My chest too tight, like iron bands around my ribs. I gasp, almost choking on the air I swallow down painfully.

Merle lays a hesitant arm across my back. I tremble, but I'm not afraid of Merle. Thorin too is crying, hiding his face in my shirt.

I sniff, gasping and choking for several minutes until I can calm enough to breathe. Merles arm moves more secure, holding me against his side. He glances at us but mostly he keeps watch, hiding us from the others.

A fight erupts further down. Merle tenses, growls angrily but doesnt move away. I sniffle, rubbing at my cheeks and wiping my nose on my shirt. Not very sanitary but it's already a mess from Thorin doing the same.

I press closer to his side. He turns back to us, looking us both over with concerned blue eyes. He really is worried about us, he really cares. Maybe he's not as bad as he acts. With how the others look down on him, maybe he's just lashing out.

"I found Thorin and his baby brother in a car surrounded by geeks," I say quietly.

Somehow, the words come now. I keep my voice soft so the others won't hear but I know he's listening. So I tell him, "I killed the geeks and got them out. He didn't follow me to help them. He looked upset when I brought them back to the van."

He turns slightly, angling more of his body towards me. I whisper, "The baby was crying and he kept having to change directions because of the herd."

I can still see them stumbling, an endless mass of undead. I still hear the baby shrieking fearfully. I still feel the light weight in my arms.

"He stopped the van in an alley but the baby was crying."

He cringed in sympathy. I continue, "He took the baby from me. I thought he was helping."

Maybe if I wasn't focused on searching the diaper bag I could've seen what he was doing. Maybe I could've stopped him. But it happened so fast.

"There were other options," I cry. "We could've all run out the back. We could've gotten into a building. I could've gotten him quiet, I just needed to get his bottle."

Merle tightens his arm around me. He tries to comfort me. Although I don't think he has much practice at it.

"He threw the baby out the window."

That shocks him. Maybe he thought Sirius smothered him or stabbed his head. Maybe he thought it was quick and painless.

"They tore him apart," a bloody leg being chewed on. Something long and red being pulled between two of them.

"He was so small," just a little thing. 

"There were other options," like a silencing spell. Or a shield charm on the van. 

"We could've gotten away," we could've run or apparated.

"He didn't have to die," not there and not like that.

The others pass us by. Whatever fight they had is over. Ed looks a mess and Carol is crying like crazy. None of them even glance our way.

Merle huffs in disgust. Not that I blame him. They do have a lot of needless drama. They really need to wake up and realize what's really important now.

We sit in silence for a while. Merle doesn't pull back so neither do I. Thorin has cried himself to sleep for the moment.

"If you need help," Merle offers hesitantly, "You can come to me."

I turn my head to look at him. He blushes some, embarrassed but sincere. He repeats the offer, "Either of you, just say the word and I'll help. Okay, come to me or Daryl, we'll protect you."

I smile at the offer, resting my head against him. He wouldn't be able to protect me from Sirius. But the offer, so freely given, is something I've always wanted to hear. 

No one cared at the Dursleys. No one cared at school or in the wizarding world. No one ever offered help so freely before.

But in this world where the dead attack the living and no one has anything anymore, now it's offered. And not by the cops who are supposed to protect the innocent. Not even by the 'good' people here who care so much about appearances. 

No, it's come from the one who's looked down on the most. It's come from the one no one likes, the one they would never mourn. And it feels more real than any half assed promise that's ever come before.

"Thank you," I whisper the words, knowing he will hear them. Because his offer means more to me than anything. At least now I know Thorin will be safe should anything happen to me.


	12. Foolish behavior

Chapter 12: foolish behavior

Jackie came to call us to supper. She freezes confused at seeing us together. No doubt confused why Thorin and I are pressed against Merle. She eyes him suspiciously but doesnt comment on it.

Apparently Andrea and Amy caught a whole lot of fish so there's a fish fry going on. The way she tells it, and how the others behave, you'd think the sisters had single handedly saved us from starvation.

Merle scoffs, stalking off to his brother at their campfire. The group's scowl as he passes as if he just spit in their faces. I guess it doesn't occur to them that Merle and Daryl have been keeping everyone fed this whole time.

Andrea and Amy are both center of the group, proud and receiving praise for their work. Sirius stays near both, flirting with one or the other charmingly. Dale watches protectively but it's clear he's too pleased with seeing everyone happy to risk bringing down the mood.

Morales waves us over, boasting the sisters catch loudly. Just out of spite I ask quietly, "How come they haven't gone fishing before if they had the tools?"

No one replies but they also don't care enough to comment. Jackie pats my shoulder, obviously confused why I'm not celebrating too. I shake my head, wondering how they can be so blind.

Merle and Daryl stay at their campfire, ignoring the group. They have a skillet going of what looks like squirrel meat sizzling away. Probably so it's not wasted.

Jackie leads me to the group fire. There are several chairs around it, she directs me to one. Thorin scrambles into my lap, refusing to relinquish his grip.

Plates are passed around as the celebratory attitude comes alive in full force. Andrea and Amy are both beaming proudly. Andrea even tells everyone that its Amy's birthday.

Sirius jumps up lively, calling the others to join him as he sings, "Happy birthday to you... Happy birthday to you... Happy birthday dear Amy! Happy Birthday to you!"

It was unnecessarily loud and dangerous but everyone joined in happily. Andrea even jumped up, throwing an arm around Sirius. He pulls her into a lively dance with a lot of jumping. Several others join in laughing even if there is no music.

I look around warily. We really shouldn't be so loud, especially as it's getting dark. It's too dangerous with the world the way it is. 

Merle tries to shout at them to be quiet. Morales shouts back in another language, Spanish I think. Thorin looks around fearfully at all the noise.

Shane seems to realise that its getting out of hand. He stands, calling the others to settle down. They listen to him, falling into a quieter hum, comradier settling in.

Dale talks softly about his watch and time. I can't seem to focus on the words though. Some tension, some tick, in my back keeps me to wary to focus. There is a threat here, I can feel it. Its just a question of where.

Amy steps out of the RV. Her voice tiredly amused as she calls that we're out of toilet paper. Movement behind her catches my eye. 

My gun is up and firing before I have time to think it through. The male body, pale and bloody, falls limply back. Amy shouts, startled as she glances back at the diseased.

In the sudden silence, several groans can be heard. Merle and Daryl jump up, armed and ready as bodies emerge from the tree line. Shane orders everyone to the RV.

There's chaos. Diseased geeks are everywhere. People are screaming and running and falling.

Thorin stays pressed to the back of my legs. I can feel him trembling but he's staying close and quiet. Merle and Daryl reach my side as my gun clicks empty.

I switch the clips, trusting the Dixons to guard until I can shoot again. I hear Sirius fighting his way towards us, shouting my name. I don't know if I want him near me or not but I don't have time to think about it.

Several people fall beneath the hands and teeth of the geeks. A black man is overwhelmed while struggling to help a woman. They're both torn apart by hungry mouths and clawing hands.

I keep firing, trying not to focus too much on who's fallen and who hasn't. The geeks are pushing closer. For every one we shoot down, four more take it's place.

My gun clicks empty so I holster it, pulling my knife. Merle catches my eye, shouting a warning for me to stay between him and Daryl. That's easier said than done.

Daryl has to switch to a knife when three geeks push forward. It just takes too long to load the crossbow. Merle is busy stabbing five that are coming at him.

One lunges forward. I stab forward, my knife sinking into a crackling skull. The body falls to be replaced with another.

More loud gun blasts sound. Merle moves to my back, taking out one I didn't see. Headlights light up the clearing, showing destruction.

I stumble back, almost tripping over Thorin. Daryl moves to help me take out the three pushing forward. Rick is there suddenly, shooting a geek at Daryls back.

It's over as suddenly as it started. One moment my knife is sinking into the eye of a geek. The next, I'm looking around in shock at all the carnage.

Sirius makes it to us now that the geeks are down. His hand grips my arm tightly, almost painfully, as he looks me over. I glance at him too, reassuring myself that none of the blood is his.

Merle steps close, looking uncertain if he should interfere or not. I offer him a shaky smile and a truly relieved thanks. He and Sirius eye each other, neither pleased with the other being near.

I turn away from both. Thorin is still pressed tight to the back of my legs, his face in the back of my knee. I scoop him up, whispering reassurances that he's safe.

Rick runs past, eager to reach his family in the RV. Carol sits on the steps sobbing. Sophia looks out the window, eyes wide in shock.


	13. CDC

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to thank everyone for the kudos and comments😊 I'm glad y'all are enjoying the story. Hopefully y'all like where it goes from here💐💐💐

Chapter 13: CDC 

The CDC isn't how we expected. We thought there would be teams of people here working away. We thought they would have safety, security. We thought they would have answers.

Instead we found a man, just one, Dr. Edwin Jenner. A man with a tired scruffy appearance and dead blue eyes. He let us in though so maybe he isn't so bad.

We got a good meal and a place to rest our heads. We need the break, the illusion of safety this place offers. And it is an illusion. I don't know how I know, only that my magic is screaming danger.

I tried to sleep with Thorin but I just couldn't seem to settle. Nearly everyone drank wine at supper, most had more than would be wise. So they are all sleeping heavily now.

With a sigh I give up on sleep. My magic is just too restless. So I slip from the cot, tucking the blankets more securely around Thorin who's sleeping soundly.

I guess I can make myself useful. There's supplies here that we will need. Surely the doctor won't mind me taking some. So I grab my pack and slip out the door.

The hallways are dark, barely enough light available to see. I follow the hall back to the kitchen area. There was a large pantry there so that's where I'll start.

There's a walk in freezer with everything from frozen meats to frozen vegetables. I still have several empty shrunken coolers so I pull them out. It takes a little over an hour just to clear away all the frozen foods. Then I rune the coolers, seal and shrink them before putting them away.

I do leave five packs of bacon out on the counter to thaw. Then I sort through the dry pantry. It's like a small room, full of shelves all neatly stacked and arranged. I load it all into bags and bins, shrinking them down. 

I leave the fridge alone since that's what the others will check. Then I close the pantry and wonder out. I doubt anyone will check since they didnt last night but at least if it's closed they won't notice it.

There are plaques posted on the walls, detailing fire escapes and room locations. There's a hard red binder labeled Emergency Prep that's full of laminated pages. I start flipping through them out of curiosity.

One page lists emergency numbers which are useless now. But several pages discuss where supplies are kept. There's a list of names for who will be in charge of distribution from those areas but they are clearly labeled in the book. Hopefully, they set up like the book said.

There are two floors above us, halfway between us and the surface, that contain meeting rooms and storage rooms. That's where the book says the supplies are kept. So I take the book with me and seek out the stairwell next to the elevator.

It's dark and I don't know how to turn the lights on. I pull a flashlight from my pack, a large bright spotlight one that works well. Then I head up, careful to move quietly in case something is here.

The staircase and halls are all clear. I go to the first meeting room, conference room F. Its dark, full of tall boxes on wooden palates stacked high. 

According to the book, this should all be first aid kits and medical supplies. A quick glance at the first stack shows a red cross on a white background. That looks medical to me even if the letters printed beside it aren't familiar. So I shrink them all down, tucking them away as I go.

The next room, E, is just across the hall. It's supposed to have cots and blankets and such. So I shrink those down, slipping them into my bag as I go.

The next one has toiletries and basic care necessities. I take it all. The next has tall stacks of medicines and vitamins all boxed up. Those I take as well.

The weapons are in the last two rooms. Both require an ID to access. A quick spell gets me in. Then I set to work, shrinking nearly all of the weapons and ammunition down and tucking it away in my ammo bag.

I do keep out several guns and boxes of ammothat were boxed together. Those I put in a long black bag and carry out. I'll give it to the group so each of them can have a weapon. So long as Shane doesn't confiscate them but I doubt Rick will let him.

When I step out into the hallway, Sirius stands at the far end. I hesitate, unsure if I want to talk to him or not. But he's already walking closer and there's no where else to go.

"Supplies?" He asks gently.

I nod, passing him the book. He glances at it a moment, humming approvingly. Then he goes back to watching me as if he's not quite sure what to say. I don't know what to say either so I stay quiet.

He sighs loudly, sounding weary, "Pup, I swear it was a mistake. I know you're mad."

"Not mad," I interrupt. "I'm scared."

He flinches as if I hit him. His face pale, eyes wide and pleading. He steps closer, hesitating a moment before reaching out. His voice soft and pained, "Harry, I would never hurt you."

"But you murdered a baby!" I lash back more pained than angry.

He flinches, looking wounded as he defends, "I panicked! It was a mistake, Pup, just a mistake. I swear I would take it back."

He looks so sincere now. But I remember how uncaring he was then. How he didn't hesitate. How he showed no remorse.

"There were spells," I tell him, my voice quieter than I would like.

He runs his hands through his hair, looking away. "All I could think was that thing was going to get you killed," he explains softly. "It wasnt a baby in my mind. It wasnt a person. It was a noise, a threat, and i needed to get it away."

"Why?" The word comes out choked.

He looks back mournfully. His answer barely above a whisper, "I was in Azkaban for twelve years. Padfoot may have kept me somewhat sane but I'm not undamaged. The dementors..."

But he doesn't need to tell me. I remember the dementors. I remember what they do, how you loose touch with reality. And my chest aches, my heart aches, for what he's suffered.

I lunge forward, wrapping my arms around his neck with a cry. He grabs me back, just as desperately. He needs me! He needs me to help him heal, to keep him sane. Because this world is a horrible nightmare. And for someone who's mind is hurt, it poses a bigger threat.

I won't let him become a monster. I'll help him get better. I'll help him remember what's right. And he'll stay good, I'll make sure of it. 

He whispers promises into my hair, "I'll keep you safe. It'll never happen again. I won't fail this time!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to have Sirius and Merle fight but that will come a little later. Merle worries the group will turn on him and Daryl so unless Harry asks or he sees something *cough* that he can't ignore, he'll hold his tongue. Just something to look forward to😊💐


	14. The herd

Chapter 14: the herd

Well, I knew it was too good to be true. The CDC was rigged to blow. We only barely made it out. Jackie didn't make it at all. At least in all the scrambling, no one will question the extra supplies.

I jumped in the truck with Daryl. Merle and Sirius both ride the bikes ahead. The others pile in where they can.

We didn't get far. First we went to a retirement home full of blood and bodies. Rick said they were here just the other day. He said a group was here, protecting the elders left behind. Someone came through and wiped them all out.

Then it was decided that we would risk going to some Army camp further out. The one Shane wanted us to go to in the first place. The RV broke down but Merle was able to get it running. 

We did spend a few minutes gathering supplies from nearby cars while he waited for a hose that Shane and T dog ran for. Two of the cars had food in them. Another had a hunting rifle and a half box of ammo. Several had clothes that we scavenged. 

I was also able to shrink down a couple big trucks. I didn't recognize the logo but Sirius agreed that we should take them. I put them in Thorins dino pack so if found we can pass them off as toys.

Thorin still doesn't like Sirius. He still hides his face and begs to be picked up when Sirius comes near. I keep the leash backpack on him with the other end tied to my belt. Keeping him close seems to help some. It also helps that Sirius is keeping distant, doing his best to not frighten the boy.

Merle isn't happy that I've forgiven Sirius. He hasn't said as much but I can tell he doesn't like it. Sirius doesn't like him much either. Thankfully, neither has caused a scene because I'm not sure how I would calm them down.

We're back on the road quickly enough. Again I ride with Daryl who doesn't comment or ask questions. Thorin settles calmly in the seat between us, playing with his car toys. 

He seems to like Daryl well enough. Several times he will hold out a toy for Daryl to inspect. Daryl will take it, look it over critically, then pass it back while telling him it's a good one. Thorin likes when he does that and it becomes a bit of a game between them. Daryl even smiles at Thorin which has the boy beaming happily back.

The next time we stop it's not the RV. The road is blocked for miles, clogged with cars. It doesn't help that the RV drove so far into the mess before we finally all stopped.

Some argue to move vehicles and keep going straight. Others want to go back. Either way, the RV is stuck for the moment. 

I slip out of the truck, taking a spare bag with me. Thorin follows, keeping the leash between us slack as he stays close. We start scavenging. Others quickly join us in searching out what supplies we can.

Dale mutters something. Words of warning are passed. Merle grabs my arm, pulling me under a large grey SUV that's halfway down the hill. The grass is scratchy but we're well hidden. Merle keeps his gun out, watching as the groans get louder.

The sound is enormous. There must be a hundred all moving past us. Thorin trembles against my chest as I keep him bundled close between me and Merle. I won't let him get hurt.

It lasts several minutes. Each second stretches on for an eternity as fear suffercates us all. They do eventually leave, the herd finally far enough away that we can come out of hiding.

Carol is crying, calling for Sophia. Others hush her, fearful that the herd will hear and turn back. Lori and Amy get her into the RV where her cries will at least be muffled.

It seems Sophia ran off into the woods with walkers following her. Rick chased after, catching her quickly but unable to turn. All any of us can do is wait.

T dog is hurt. His arm cut open on a car door. I run back to my pack, Thorin on my hip. I dig out a first aid kit, resizing it quickly and passing it to Merle who had followed me.

He gives me a startled look. I worry for a moment that he saw my magic. But he just takes the kit and runs back to the RV where Daryl is helping T dog onto the couch.

Sirius comes up suggesting, "Find antibiotics and pain meds if you have them. There should be some in your pack from when we hit those pharmacies."

Thorin holds open my pack as I dig deeper for one of my bags. Then a summoning spell pulls a shrunken backpack out. I rifle through it, coming up with two bottles quickly of pain meds. The antibiotics take a bit more to find but I get five bottles out.

Thorin helps me put my stuff back in my pack. Then we carry the bottles to the RV, all with various people's names on them. Amy nearly weeps when she see them.

She was in school to be a nurse. Or she was going, I'm not sure. But their mother was a nurse and she worked as a secretary for the hospital where her mother worked. She's confident she can help him but we had no supplies before.

I lie, telling her that the medicine came from the cars. I do tell them that I took the first aid kit from the CDC although I lie and tell them it was in my room. No one questions it although Merle does send me a few looks that I can't quite decipher. 

Rick comes stumbling out of the tree line alone. Carol wails, demanding her daughter be returned. Rick looks around startled, admitting he put her down, left her, and couldn't find her again.

Merle curses him loudly for his stupidity. Lori and Shane both puff up indignantly but he pays them no mind. Daryl hurries to join Merle who's already halfway up the hill. Rick wastes time defending his actions to Carol.

Sirius moves closer. Thorin hides his face in my neck but doesnt fuss. He never fusses.

Sirius looks pained, then resolved. His voice firm as he tells me, "I'll bring her back. Then maybe you'll hate me a little less."

I catch his arm, tugging him back a step. I answer softly so the others won't hear, "I never hated you. I forgive you."

He smiles, a breathtakingly bright smile. A hurried kiss is pressed to my forehead as he runs off. I'm not worried though. He has his wand and several weapons. He'll be just fine.

Rick seems to be aware that others have gone to look for the girl. He runs off, hoping to redeem himself by finding her first. I take Thorin back to the Dixons truck. He can play with his toys while I resize a few bags of supplies. With everything happening, I doubt anyone would notice.


	15. Five gone, four returned

Chapter 15: five gone, four return

I cooked dinner, rice and canned chicken in a skillet over a low fire. A bit of magic helped it along too. Magical fire burns hotter than normal fire, you see, so the flames didn't need to be as high.

Amy was able to clean and stitch T dogs arm. Between the pain meds and the blood loss, he's out like a light. She thanks me again for having the first aid kit. I told them I filled other bags at the CDC and loaded them in the Dixons truck.

Shane, Glenn, and Andrea came to look through them. Both impressed with the weapons and medical bags that I resized. Shane even clapped my back to tell me I did good. Glenn jokes that he's taking me on the next supply run. I promise him that I'll be there.

Its nearly nightfall when the guys return. They come back together, walking close. Rick stays at the back, a small form in his arms.

Carol takes off running up the hill. Merle looks over the group, gaze searching until he settles on me and Thorin. He reaches the railing, opens his mouth to speak. Carol lets loose a wail of dispair.

Merle flinches, looking away angrily. Daryl climbs over the railing, shoulders tense as he storms off to his truck. Shane rushes up the hill to help Rick who's only barely holding Carol up.

It's Sirius that tells us, "Undead got her."

I'm glad Thorin is asleep in the RV. I'm glad he doesn't have to witness this. I have a need to hold him, to be reassured he's alive and unharmed.

Sirius explains, "We were all hurrying to track her but we were too late. The walker, that's what y'all are calling them right?, it got her before we could find them. We tried to get her back in but she passed as we were coming back. She bled out too quickly."

Carl is sobbing against his mother's stomach. Amy clings to her sister, sobbing into her shoulder. Carol continues to wail where she dropped on the hill clutching her daughter. Shane and Rick both struggle to calm her.

I slip away, climbing back up into the RV. Thorin is still asleep on the couch where I left him. T dog is awake, Glenn sitting next to him crying as he explains what happened. 

There are five bowls sitting on the counter, each with a portion of food. One for each of the people who were away. Only now it's one too many.

I take the smallest one. It's a bright yellow because Carol said Sophia loves yellow. My hands tremble as I scrap it off into the other four bowls.

Sirius had followed me up. His arms wrap around me, almost clinging. I turn to hug him back, needing the comfort. The bowl clatters noisily to the floor, already empty.

I cry into his shoulder. It hurts, not only losing someone but to lose a child. I can't imagine what Carol must be going through.

Sirius breaths against my ear, whispering, "Padfoot tracked her. I ran as fast as I could. I just wasn't fast enough to save her."

I nod, understanding it isn't his fault. I don't blame him for this. I know he really did try to find her. It just hurts that she's gone.

I finally manage to calm myself. Carol sounds closer. Somehow Rick and Shane got her back to the road. Dale pulls Amy and Andrea inside, settling them at the table. Everyone looks so lost.

"Okay," I need to help somehow. I pass a bowl to Sirius, pointing him to the table with the sisters. He blinks confused but goes easily to give me space.

I wave Glenn over. He scrubs his cheeks, sniffling as he asks what I need. I pass him two bowls, telling him, "Take these to the Dixons for me, thanks."

He blinks dumbly at the bowls. Then he nods, understanding that they haven't eaten yet. I grab a tea kettle from the counter. There is a single stove eye on the counter. I fill the kettle with water and pit it on the lit eye.

Dale watches numbly as I putter around. I ask him to find me cups enough for everyone. He blinks confused but with a shaky smile he sets to task.

I dig through Thorins backpack. There are a few books, his animal toys, a few softball sized plastic cars and some clothes. But in the front pocket are three bars of chocolate. I pull them out, closing up the bag and putting it back down.

Dale has cups lined up as Glenn climbs back into the RV. I send him out again, this time to bring me the army green bag in the back of the Dixons truck. He hurries back out.

The bag was one I found when Sirius and I were scavenging the city. But I'll tell the others it came from the CDC. I pull out a glass pitcher from the cabinet and have Dale help me break up the chocolate.

Glenn comes back with the bag. I tell them it has bags of powdered eggs and milk as well as bags of freeze dried foods that I took from the CDC. Glenn digs the powdered milk out, passing it over. 

I follow the instructions on the bag, measuring it carefully. Then Dale adds the hot water while I mix it. Glenn moves the cups closer. Once it's mixed up, I pour it out into the cups.

Dale takes two to the sisters, hovering by them. Amy grabs his hand, seeking comfort from a father figure while Andrea stares blankly into the cup. I send Glenn out to Rick, Carol, and Shane with a cup for them. 

Lori and Carl climb back inside. She looks around confused as to where to go. So I hand her two cups, asking her to take one to T dog. Then I hand one to Carl, asking him to watch Thorin. He agrees, still quiet with shock but looking back sternly as if he can glare away dangers.

I take two cups outside. Rick and Shane are on either side of Carol as she cradles her daughter. Both doing their best to sooth her. Glenn hovers nervously in front of her, offering the cup but understanding that she won't want it.

I trade with him, asking him to take two to the Dixons while I stay with Carol. I wish I had a calming drought, it would help tremendously right now. But chocolate works against dementors so it should work here.

I kneel in front of her, speaking softly, "Isn't it said that warm milk can sooth the soul and chocolate can chase away your aches. Hopefully combining the two will help some."

She blinks confused, then gives a watery laugh. Her voice shaking as she says, "I used to make warm chocolate milk for Sophia."

I offer a smile back, just a small one. And I ask, "Will you tell me about her? I didn't have a chance to know her well. Although I do know she was brave and kind and loved the color yellow."

Carol shudders, clinging tighter to the limp body in her arms. Thin long limbs all curled up, her head resting on Carols chest as if she's just asleep. She shouldn't be so still though. She didn't deserve this. No one deserves this.

"She liked spiders," Carol confesses amused. "What kind of girl likes spiders? But I think because she liked the movie Charlotte's web, it made her like spiders."

I smile back, settling down patiently to listen as she talks. It comes in bursts of words, choppy with silence or tears. But she talks, her eyes refusing to look down at the child so still in her arms.

She talks about how Sophia only had one friend before, a little girl that lived next door. She told how they would stay outside late to catch fireflies. Sophia was always so happy playing with little Nora.

She talked about tea parties at Noras house where they would play dress up in princess clothes. She talked about how sometimes Sophia would stay a whole weekend over there, safe and sound. She admitted that she was grateful for how much that family helped her daughter.

She talked about how Sophia loves yellow because it's the happiest color. She talks about Sophia's favorite dress, a yellow fairy dress from some cartoon. And how she didn't stop smiling for weeks when Nora gave it to her as a birthday gift. That may also be why it's her favorite color because she didn't have one before that.

She talked about how when Ed was gone for work, a whole week, they stayed in their pajamas. She talks gently then of reading books and eating waffles at one in the afternoon. She talks about how Sophia loved to help her to cook and they had cupcakes twice that week.

She talks and talks, stopping at times when emotions get the best of her. Shane and Rick stay on either side, holding her up. And after a while I even get her to drink the chocolate.

I ask questions to keep her talking. I ask if Sophia had a bike. She answers that she did but didn't like to ride it. I ask if she like to swim. Oh yes, she would spend every day of the summer in the water. 

More stories tumble out. Like the time Sophia wanted to push the shopping cart when she was three and kept running into things. Or the time as a toddler, she got into blackberries and smeared them all into the kitchen floor. Carol had to rush to clean it up before Ed found it but she loved how Sophia laughed that day.

She talks and talks the whole night long. We sit with her, all three of us offering what comfort we can by listening. She talks until her voice is no more than a hoarse whisper.

The sky has a red glow, predawn light. We're all exhausted from such an emotional night. Carol sways, leaning heavily against Shane. She's so tired she can't even keep her head up.

"I'll watch her," I offer gently.

Carol blinks over, cringing in pain and tightening her arms. Then she nods, turning away and relaxing her grip. Rick and Shane both keep holding her, supporting her.

I'm gentle as I lift Sophia up. She's heavier than I expected but I guess I don't have anything to compare it too. Still, I pull her close, curling her stiff body in my lap. For some reason her body is stuck, still curled up as she was. I'm not sure if that's normal or not but I don't want to ask.

Once I have her secure, I nod to them. Rick and Shane climb to their feet, pulling Carol up between them. All three move shakily, like giraffes first learning to walk.

A hand twitches. I wouldn't have noticed if I wasn't looking down to hide amusement at the others. I pale, realizing that no one took care to ensure Sophia didn't turn. And I can't call them back. I can't let Carol see this!

Merle lumbers forward, rubbing his face tiredly. I wave him to hurry which he does, frowning. I whisper that I need a knife. He blinks dumbly, confused. Then he notices her head twitch and he curses, glaring back at the retreating figures.

"Please," I plead softly, "Don't let Carol see her turn. Just give me a knife. Quickly."

He looks back pained but he pulls his knife from its sheath. He kneels down, catching her head in one hand. The other strikes forward with a dull hollow sound. The others enter the RV, unaware anything happened.


	16. A day of mourning

Chapter 16: a day of mourning

Merle was pissed to say the least. He called Rick out of the RV, keeping his voice level as he did. He even lead him a bit away from the group, closer to the abandoned cars. Then he let loose a torrent of hissed words, anger in every line of his body.

Rick pales, glancing wide eyed at where I'm still sitting with the body. Merle hits his shoulder, stepping closer to demand his attention. More venomous words come out too quietly to hear.

Sirius slips from the RV, frowning at the two men. He does a double take at me, startled to see me holding the body. I tell him that I'm watching her until we can bury her.

Daryl walks up then, asking how we should handle it. I point to the hill, asking if they could dig a place for her there. He walks away, returning with two shovels. Sirius takes one, frowning but not arguing. They both head halfway up the hill to get to work.

Rick walks back, pale and shaken. Merle follows behind him, angry and defensive. Rick sits down next to me, wide eyed as he stares at her body. I ask him gently if he'll watch her for a while. He nods quickly, flinching as he takes her from me.

I stand, stretching my back until it pops. Then I pat Merles arm gratefully, asking him if he can get started sourcing fuel for us. He huffs angrily but walks off, coming back quickly with two red gas cans.

I step into the RV, looking around. T dog is still asleep on the bed. Carol is curled up next to him with Glenn on the other side. Lori and Shane are whispering heartedly in the front seats but it's too quiet to hear. Carl is asleep, curled around Thorin on the couch. Amy, Andrea, and Dale are all blinking tiredly at the table, clearly only just waking up.

I go to the table first, asking softly, "Dale, could you take watch on the roof for us?"

He casts concerned looks at the sisters. Both have red marks on their faces where they slept on their folded arms. But he nods his agreement. 

Once he stands up I turn to the sisters to ask, "We're going to look through the cars for more supplies. Could you two help with that?"

Both agree, sliding out of their seats with twin yawns. I go to the bed next, shaking Glenn awake to ask him to help search for supplies. I leave T dog and Carol to rest.

Lori and Shane both look up at my approach. It's clear that neither likes being interrupted but I pretend I don't notice. I'm far too used to such looks from my time at the Dursleys to care.

"Lori, could you get some breakfast going?" I ask politely. "I have powdered eggs and powdered milk on the counter. I'm not sure how to make them but I was hoping you might."

She blinks surprised but puffs up, donning the robe of dutiful housewife that she likes to pretend she is. I tell Shane that Merle is siphoning gas and ask if he will help with that, maybe on the other side. That way we can get it done quicker. He straightens up, nodding agreement although it's clear he doesn't like taking orders from others.

Carl wakes up, startled by everyone moving around even if they are quiet. I kneel down next to the couch, looking him in the eye as I ask, "Could you stay here with Thorin for me? I need someone to look after him."

Carl nods back seriously, tightening his hold just a bit before relaxing. I step back outside, glancing up the hill where Daryl and Sirius already have a pile of dirt growing. Rick is halfway up the hill. Sophia's body lays abandoned on the pavement.

I head over to the cars, slipping through a gap to go further. I need to get away. I just need a little space. Enough so that I can cry without getting the others started again.

A touch of magic opens doors and trunks. I find everything from suitcases of clothes to milk crates and grocery bags of food. I gather it all, carrying it back and leaving it on the back of a black truck just three down from the RV. That way it will be easier to get later.

There's an SUV with a sports bag in the back. A cooler of warm water has moldy sandwiches, bags of rotten carrot sticks, and several sodas. I dump it all out, shrinking the cooler and collecting the drinks in the sports bag. There's also several snack sized trail mixes in the glove box so I take them all.

There's a bright red car, something flashy with sharp lines. I find a gun in the glove box and another under the seat, both are large and heavy. The one in the glove box is boxy with a long barrel. The one under the seat is bright silver with a revolving cylinder to hold bullets. The trunk has even more guns as well as boxes and boxes of ammo.

Merle walks up, grumbling unhappily, "You aught not to be running off like that."

I sniff, ignoring the tears on my cheeks as I wave him to the trunk. He looks in, whistling impressed and slapping my back proudly. He does look concerned when he sees the tears. I scrub them away, reassuring him I'm fine and it's just stress.

He helps me bag up the guns. He even jokes, "Bet Chinaman would love this little hotrod."

I smile, fairly sure he means Glenn. And he means it as a joke, not an insult. Although I don't think Glenn is actually Chinese. Not that it matters anymore. We're all just people now. Things like race don't matter anymore if they ever did.

We check the next two which don't have much. He takes out the walker on the other side of the white car. Then we find a bag of melted candy in the trunk of another. I tell him to take it anyways. I can always use the chocolate for drinks or something.

There's a fancy grey SUV, only barely dusty and without any trash in it. If not for the bloody handprint on the window I would expect to see this for sale on a lot. Merle opens the plastic bin in the back, bursting out laughing as he does.

I glance in to see boxes of tube shaped things. He stumbles back, holding his side as amusement takes him. I lift a box out, turning it over to read the back.

I blush, embarrassed by the words. His laughter starts up again when he sees that. Amy and Andrea make their way over, calling out, "What's so funny?"

Merle is still laughing. I throw the box back in the truck, answering a too quick, "Nothing!"

They both hurry over, eager to see. I blush, ducking away. Merle follows, leaving them to look in privacy. Amy squeals a laugh. Her and Andrea both dissolve in amused giggles.

Merle pats my shoulder, telling me, "It's alright. We was bound to find pervy shit eventually."

I blush, looking away at the cars on the next lane. Ones a dud, nothing but trash inside. The next has a cooler of rotten food in warm water. It smells too horrible to bother with so I leave it. The next must be belonged to someone with two small children because there is food everywhere in the seats and floorboards, stains on the upholstery. But no car seats so maybe they got away.

There's a big black truck, somewhat glittery, with four doors. We find a gun in a lock box under the seat but no extra rounds. There's a doll in the back with dark skin and curly hair pulled up into two buns. 

I check the truck bed. There are suitcases and gym bags. The bags contain food, mostly rice and pasta. I pass those to Merle.

The suitcases have clothes. Two contain men's clothes of different sizes, one has a bottle of massage oil that makes Merle snort a laugh. The other two have girls clothes, each look about Carl and Sophia's size.

A bright flash of yellow has me dumping out the girls clothes. A bright yellow dress, a princess dress. There are two more that I ignore. But the yellow one... Sophia's favorite color was yellow.

I take it, we can bury it with Sophia. Maybe it will make Carol feel better. Merle eyes me confused but doesnt comment.

We head back with what we have, hungry now after all that work. Lori has a plate for us, everyone else already ate. It's not that good cold but it's food. Neither of us are willing to waste it so we clean our plates, offering a polite thanks.

Rick and Shane are both standing hip deep in a hole on the hill. Sirius and Daryl are both working on siphoning gas, having already filled our vehicles with what they found. Glen is organizing our finds so far so I go help him with that.

Rick calls everyone together, looking tired and weary. Lori goes to wake Carol and T dog, bringing them both out. Carl leads Thorin out who immediately runs to me, the end of his leash in hand. I tie it to my belt then pick him up, knowing he'll need to be held for a while.

Rick says we're going to bury Sophia. I pass the dress over. Somehow that makes him pale more. Merle comes up with a yellow sleeping bag. Apparently he realized what I was doing. 

Carol sobs out a thank you as she puts the dress over Sophia's head. Andrea hurries to help her settle the dress into place. It's too small really and gets stuck. Plus she's still stiff. Daryl steps forward, cutting the back of the dress down the middle. This way they can slip her arms through. Carol looks relieved when that works.

Merle lays out the yellow sleeping bag. Carol settles Sophia in it and he zips it up. Then Shane moves forward to carry the bundle up the hill. We all follow along tearfully.

Amy sings, terribly and off key, a song of mourning. Rick and Dale take turns saying a few words. Dales words offer comfort, Ricks offer excuses. Then he seems to realize what he's doing and changes his tone, offering sympathy.

We'll spend the rest of the day gathering supplies and moving cars. Amy and Andrea take Carol with them. Thorin and I head across the street with Sirius as guard. The others work on clearing a path for the RV to turn.


	17. Meeting the Greene's

Chapter 17: meeting the Greenes

It was shear stupidity really. Rick needed to clear his head and Carl was feeling useless. So they decided a walk in the woods was in order. Shane went with them, talking about hunting game.

Somehow that pissed Merle off so he and Daryl left too. We heard a shot, just the one, echoing through the woods. It wouldn't be the Dixons. And it shouldn't be the Grimes. Sirius orders everyone to pack up and be ready as we may have to leave.

Merle and Daryl show up five minutes later with a buck on a branch between them. Merle asks pissily who fired that shot. We can't answer. They get to work butchering the deer just in the tree line. Both sending nervous looks around the woods as they work. 

I take them a cooler and a box of gallon sized Ziploc nags. Merle glances up and for a moment it looks like he's going to say something. But he just nods a thanks so I leave them to it.

Sirius has the others working, directing the RV as it turns around. The Dixons curse, both lunging for a weapon. A horse breaks the tree line, galloping for the road. The woman riding calls out Lori's name.

It all dissolves from there. Carl was shot by a hunter who wasn't watching what he was doing. The hunter led them to a farmhouse where the owner could help. The woman, Maggie, gives quick directions to us as her and Lori ride off.

We get the vehicles moving, driving quickly enough that we almost miss the turn. But the mailbox is there, the name Greene on the side. And we drive quickly down the lane and to a large white farmhouse.

I have a moment to think it's beautiful here. There is a herd of cows in a pasture. A big barn is further down. There's even a lake. But something is making my magic tick like it did at the CDC. Something here isn't right.

A hand slams against the window. Shane shouts out in a rush, "What supplies did you get? Medical?"

"What?" I'm too startled by his sudden appearance and my magic acting up to understand what he asked.

He opens the door impatiently, asking again, "The medical supplies! Where are they? What all did you get?"

I scramble out, almost pulling Thorin out with me. I snatch him up, tossing him in the back of the truck and climbing up behind him. Daryl is already out on his side, leaning over to shove the bags around.

I toss one behind me, hearing Shane catch it. The next two I toss to Daryl. Both run off as soon as they have the bags. Which is good because it gives me a moment to pull another one from my pack. 

This one is from when we cleared out a mobile medical unit in the fallen safe zone. Sirius had used a shield charm while I shrunk down the various trailers and containers. I haven't had time to go through them properly, they're still shrunken in Sirius pack. But this backpack, the first I collected before deciding to shrink the whole trailer, it has emergency supplies.

I turn, spotting Merle behind me. He again gives me a look but doesnt comment. I hold out the bag nervously. Because he may have seen me resize it. But he just takes it and rushes up to the house without question. Maybe he didn't see.

Maggie comes back out and I finally take the time to really look her over. Short brown hair, bright blue eyes, a pretty smile and a southern drawl to her voice. Glenn is instantly smitten, sidling close to ask if we can help at all or what should we do.

She points out an area of the yard, flat and open beneath a couple random trees. She tells us to set up there for now. Sirius takes over directing everyone to move and get settled.

Daryl asks for a grill which she takes him around to it. He comes back dragging a huge silver thing with a propane tank tucked away in the bottom. Then he comes back for the bloody cooler of cut up deer meat.

I set up my tent near where the others will be. Sirius sets up his next to mine. Glenn sets up closer to the front of the RV. Then he sets up T dogs on the other side of his. I move to help Carol set up her tent, Thorin staying close but often darting forward to help.

A large overweight man comes out, eyeing us all nervously. It doesn't help that Merle has been glaring hatred at him. I guess he was the hunter. 

But points for bravery, he came forward to ask if we needed any help. Also good was it was Glenn he asked. He and Dale both reassured the man, Otis, that we are fine.

An older man steps out onto the porch, frowning at Merle who is still glaring at Otis. Then he steps down, aproachinng our group. Shane trails behind him, cautious and slightly more defensive than would be polite. Especially if this is the man that saved Carl's life.

Mr. Hershel Greene is an older man with a gentle tone and care worn features. He reminds me of Dale in several ways. Although he has a stronger presence, more accustomed to being obeyed I suppose. 

He looks around the group before offering in a soothing southern voice, "The young boy Carl will live. Thank goodness y'all had supplies with you when you came. Although I would like to know where those supplies came from."

Thorin shys away, hiding behind my leg. I lay a hand on his head to let him know I'm here. Then I answer although I think he already knows, "I gathered supplies from the CDC while we were there."

"Those bags didn't come from your room," Shane says accusingly.

I shift, uncertain what I'm being accused of. I had already shown Shane that I collected bandages and such. Maybe he was surprised at the bags of fluid and the little vials in the last bag I gave Merle. 

I answer, "I couldn't sleep so I went around to gather supplies. I didn't take everything, just a bit here and there. They had a few operating rooms so I took what was in the cabinets and drawers in one."

The man nods his head, a proud look in his eyes. He says, "That was very smart of you, son, very smart indeed. Without those supplies I cant guarentee if the boy wouldve survived."

Carol lets looks a choked sob. Amy reaches her first, hugging her close. Andrea and Dale hurry her into the RV when they see that her sobs aren't stopping.

Mr. Greene looks on in concern. Sirius tells him how she lost her daughter yesterday, we only buried her this morning. He frowns in sympathy, saying, "Y'all can stay until the boy is well enough to travel. Please don't wonder through our property, keep to this area if you will. And no hunting for supplies from our cupboards."

The last is said with an amused glance at me. I blush, answering, "Dr. Jenner said we could take what we need. I wouldn't have done it otherwise."

He smiles to show he meant no offense. Then he heads back to his house. Daryl calls him to halt. He offers some of the deer meat as payment. Hershel stills, glancing over it all and offering a polite Thank you. 

Otis steps forward nervously. He keeps glancing back at Mr. Greene as if seeking approval. Daryl hands over three chunks of meat, asking with a look if more is needed. Mr. Greene offers another thanks and waves Otis to follow him back to the house.


	18. Questions and confessions

Chapter 18: questions and confessions

Thorin was restless. Or rather, he still isn't comfortable around Sirius. So I took him for a walk around the farm.

We walk to the fence separating the cows. He is quite taken with the big things. Although he is also insistent that he doesn't want near them. He mimics their sound curiously but leaves when they prove uninteresting to him.

Then we walk closer to the house. They have a chicken coop on the side. He looks through the wire in awe at the fluffy things. He even tries to call to them, clucking and comanding them to cluck. 

They do although that may be more what they naturally do as opposed to his clucking at them. He looks up proudly, pointing in the coop and telling me that the chickens go bak bak. I congratulate him on being so smart. He smiles brightly at that.

I lead him to the stable next. It's a large older building with a musty smell and a slightly muddy floor. The door rests open and there are stalls to either side in a line going back. Several horses snort and huff within.

Thorin is truly in awe here. He holds my hand, watching wide eyed as we pass the stalls. It's not until our second pass that he laughs, moving eagerly closer. 

I lift him up as a brown one sticks it's head over the stall door. He clings tightly to me, looking back at the horse with wide eyes. I edge us closer, careful to watch him for any fear.

The horse throws back its head, braying loudly. He jumps in surprise but laughs delighted. I move us a little closer, keeping us turned so I'm closer and can shield him if needed. 

I reach out to pet the horse, rubbing up its nose. Thorin reaches out, barely brushing it with his fingertips before pulling back. Then he's reaching forward again.

We stay like that for several minutes. He gets braver as we do, touching and looking closer at the horses face. I let him touch it's hair and ear as I stroke it's neck, pleased that its staying so calm. 

When it steps back I do too. It shakes it's head, turning back into the stall. We move to another one. 

I glance at the door where a figure stands. Merle leans against the door calmly, probably been there for a while. I smile at him as I hold Thorin forward to look in on a brown and white colored horse.

"It's lucky you went hunting supplies," Merle says conversationally.

I smile, shrugging uncertainly. He pushes away from the door to walk closer. His tone is cautious, searching, "But I could've sworn them bags weren't there when we left."

Again I shrug, turning back to move Thorin to another stall. Merle continues, "Coulda sworn when I looked back there for geeks that weren't nothin but our tent and bags back there."

This horse is a pale color, cream perhaps. It comes easily, calmly at Thorins call. It stays calm as he pets it, telling it that its pretty. Large brown eyes look back calmly, accepting the child's attention.

"I also coulda sworn the bag you tossed me just appeared outta thin air," he adds mildly.

"It didn't," I reply quickly. "It didn't just appear."

He's quiet a moment. I feel myself relaxing, maybe he will accept that as an answer. But he doesn't. He shifts forward, asking gently, "Think you can explain what I saw then?"

Thorin frowns, probably feeling me tense up. The horse snorts, shaking it's head. I step back only partly to take Thorin to the next stall.

Merle allows the distance. He even allows the silence to continue. But it's a heavy silence full of expectation and guilt.

"I'm not," a freak. I'm not bad. I didn't do anything wrong.

"It's just," something I can do. It's something I was born with. It's just another part of me.

"Please," don't hurt me. Please don't tell the others. I'm not a monster here. I'm not to blame.

I look over at him, half expecting anger. What I see is compassion. What I see is patience. 

I blink away the tears, apologies tumbling out without my control. Merle moves then, careful obvious movements. He wraps his arms around me, shushing me. He says it's okay. He says he just wants to understand.

So I tell him, "I can do stuff. I can shrink things, make them bigger sometimes too but that thins them out."

"Shrink things?" He asks curiously. 

I pull back, reaching into Thorins dino backpack. I've taken to keeping a small bag of shrunken food in each bag, just to be safe. It also insures that I can track him if we're ever seperated. I take out a shrunken bag that's full of snack foods.

It's small, only a little bigger than the size of a marble. It probably looks like a small dolls bag. Merle looks at it curiously, still no judgement shown. 

My magic is what's holding it small, my fingers tingle at the familiar touch. It's easy enough to end the spell. All I have to do is pull my magic out of the bag and back into myself. It comes back eagerly.

The bag grows, expanding before our eyes. Merle watches startled as something so small is now large and full to bursting. He takes it carefully, as if to prove to himself that its real. 

He opens the bag, looking at all the snack packs stuffed in. Thorin reaches forward, asking for gold fish. Merle passes a small bag over, full of cheddar fish shaped crackers. I open it for him, still waiting to see what Merle will do. 

Did I mess up? Did I make a mistake? Is he going to lash out? Is he going to hurt me? What do I do?

He swallows nervously, nodding more to himself than to me. He holds the bag back out. He still doesn't look mad. If anything, he looks impressed.

I reach out, letting my magic infuse the bag again. The spell is familiar now to the point I don't need a wand. And this bag knows my magic just as my magic knows it. So it's far too easy to shrink it down to a small size again. Then I tuck it back in his dino pack since it's mostly for him.

Merle hums, "You got other stuff shrunken like that?"

I nod nervously, half afraid he'll lash out. Maybe he'll get mad that I'm holding out. Maybe he'll blame me for hording food from the group. Maybe he'll blame me for the world going mad. Maybe he'll hurt me. Maybe he'll kill me.

Instead he laughs, somehow sounding both relieved and arrogant. But he doesn't lash out. If anything, he softens his stance. He reaches out carefully, gently squeezing my arm.

"Can I ask questions?" He asks gently, as if he worries it will push me too far. I agree, too afraid still to deny him.

He asks if I can shrink larger items. I shift my feet, uncertain how to answer. He gives me a few minutes, waiting patiently. I guiltily show him the diesel truck in Thorins pack. He blinks dumbly, so many emotions rushing across his face but going too fast to identify.

He nods thoughtfully. Then he asks if I can do more than shrink things. I tell him I can move things too, but only so long as it's not too heavy. I couldn't lift the blast doors at the CDC but I can lift maybe a car or a motorcycle if I need to. Thankfully he doesn't ask me to show him.

Somehow we end up at the back of the barn. There's a built in bench along the back wall. We sit there as we talk. Thorin stays pressed against me, watching us both curiously.

He looks away, clearly considering his words before he talks. He says, "In the woods. I saw tracks change. A man's shoe became a paw print of something canine, dog maybe but big."

He looks at me, clearly asking for me to explain. I look around nervously, more cautious now than before. But I whisper the answer, "Sirius can change his form, always the same creature, a large black hound."

He looks away, rubbing his hands over his head. I worry that this is it. I worry that this is the moment he will lash out and attack. I wait for the accusations, for the pain.

It doesn't come. When he does touch me, it's a gentle touch, hesitant. He lays his hand on my arm, careful in case he needs to pull back. 

I'm trembling and crying in fear. He looks back, a painful twist to his features. He pulls me close, hurrying to reassure me that he would never hurt me. He holds me as I cry. And somehow my tears turn to those of relief

"You can't tell," I whisper against his chest, unwilling to look up. I plead, "You can't tell them. They'll hurt me."

He runs fingers through my hair, his voice soothingly gentle, "I promise."


	19. A day on the farm

Chapter 19: a day on the farm

Thorin and I wake as we always do. He sleeps curled up on my chest, one hand fisted in my hair while the other holds my shirt. I wake first, staying relaxed so he won't wake. Then I shift out from under him.

It's difficult breaking his grip. The hand in my hair will usually let go if I stroke his fist. Then he moves it to grip my fingers. The one holding my shirt is more difficult. For that one I have to replace it with something. I usually press a small baby blanket against his palm.

I double check my bags, rearranging for the day. To my knowledge we aren't going anywhere so my main pack will stay in the tent. I do take a small satchel that has a single thick strap going across my chest. It has three shrunken bags within. One is a cooler with sandwich meat and bread, one has snacks, and the third has a first aid kit and some guns.

It takes me a while to find my crossbow. I had it shrunken in a side pocket of my main pack. I resize it along with the quiver of arrows. Both are stuffed in the bag that I slip on.

Thorins grumbling awake now. He never sleeps long after I pull away. It's cute too, like watching a puppy glaring around. He rubs his eyes and frowns, looking around until his eyes focus on me. 

I smile, waving him closer. He rolls over and stumble crawls the rest of the way. Then he settles on the edge of the mattress, pressing against my side. I slip an arm around him, holding him close.

We stay like this a while, just until he's more awake. Then I ask if he wants juice and breakfast or if he wants to wait. He shakes his head so I don't bother getting out food. We'll eat with the group today.

I get him changed into fresh clothes, soft grey shorts and a bright blue shirt with a cartoon shark on it. He laughs, amused at the image. Maybe he recognizes it from somewhere.

I change too. After putting him back in the middle of the mattress and passing his big backpack so he can play. Then I switch my jeans for another pair, lighter this time. And my grey shirt is traded for a dark faded green with some image nearly unrecognizable on the front.

We slip out of the tent to see the others already awake. I add our dirty clothes to the basket nearby. No doubt they will do laundry today, usually Carol does it. So there's always a basket out for us to throw our dirty clothes into.

Thorin insists on wearing the dino backpack, wanting to clip the two buckles himself. Then he holds up the leashes end, looking at me expectantly. I tie it to my belt and take his hand.

Andrea snorts a laugh, "You know he's a kid, not a dog?"

I frown at her, feeling insulted at the suggestion. I don't treat him like a dog! I know he's a kid. I know he also need the reassurance that I'm not going to leave him behind. 

This is for his comfort, not just mine. And it leashes me more than him. But it's not about being tied together. He likes knowing that we will never go further apart than the leash allows. He likes the reassurance that we won't be seperated.

The others give amused chuckles. Obviously they don't understand. But I don't bother explaining because they won't understand. They're still blind, still living in the fantasy world of before.

Carol hold out two plates of food, an understanding look in her eyes. She gets it, her and the Dixons. Even Sirius doesn't understand. But he has the excuse of Azkaban. These people have no such excuse except that they don't want to see.

Breakfast is scrambled eggs, bacon, and biscuits. Thorin and I eat without comment. Both of us sit on the ground simply because there aren't enough seats.

Lori collects the dishes into a small basket. Then she heads off towards the farmhouse. I'm surprised when she simply moves up the steps and into the house without pause. Surely she should've knocked first.

Everyone has chores but me and Thorin. For some reason, we're lumped in with the kids so we're not given tasks. But I've never been one to sit idle so I'll find us something to do.

I knock on the door, stepping back to leave space by the door. Aunt Petunia used to hate so much when people stand close to the door. She said it's rude and intrusive. I don't know if that's true but it does seem a bit unwelcome at least.

The door is opened by a young blonde girl, probably my age and only my height. Her long hair is loose and pale, her blue eyes large and kind. She reminds me of another girl, a friend. 

An image of a corkbottle necklase and raddish earings fills my eyes. I have to blink away the image, clearing my throat before I can speak. Because this isn't Luna. This isn't my friend, so patient and understanding. This isn't the girl that feeds the thestrels in the forest and talks of fantastical creatures that no one believes exist.

I clear my throat again, having to look away a moment before I can chase away the imprint of my friend. My voice still sounds hoarse when I say, "Sorry to be a bother, but we would like to help out only I'm not sure how we should do that."

She chews her lip, eyeing me in concern. But she's only quiet for a second or two, then she offers in a sweet gentle voice, "I was just about to feed the chickens if you want to help."

I smile, assuring her that we'd love to. So she leads us around the side of the house to the coops. There are wooden barrels nearby that we didn't pay any mind to before. She lifts the lid to reveal a mixture of seeds and dried corn kernels. 

Thorin is excited, nearly grabbing the small scoop from her with a loud, "I can do it! I can feed them!"

She grins, handing the scoop over. He spills a good bit of the seeds in the grass. The rest get dumped in one spot in the corner of the coop.

I notice her flinch, eyeing the pile before shaking it off and smiling pleased when he looks back proudly. She even lets him take another scoop which gets dumped in another spot near the first. Again he looks up at us for approval which we both give.

The wind passes through, blowing strands of her pale hair to dance around. She huffs, hurrying to brush it back. But the scent of pumpkins is now faint on the breeze, coming from her.

I get a flash of the great hall, muted noise of the welcoming feast. I remember the smells of the feast, the roast meats and the sweet deserts. But always present is the scent of pumpkin, it's everywhere.

I must've said something aloud because she smiles shyly, saying, "It's my shampoo, it's pumpkin spice. I know it's silly but it's my favorite."

She ducks her head, her cheeks red with embarrassment. I see an eleven year old Hermione frowning down at a book, knowing the answer but not wanting to be insulted for always answering. I see Ron, year after year, embarrassed at the meager sandwich his mother always packs. I see Neville, another wierd plant that he's cooing over, wanting to tell everyone but afraid of being mocked.

"I like it," I tell her, unwilling to let her be embarrassed. "My school used to serve pumpkin juice at mealtimes and we had pumpkin pasties, a type of tart, every Holliday."

She looks back hesitantly, as if afraid I'm teasing. I smile, telling her, "It smells like home to me."

She blushes more but looks pleased. She says she also has pumpkin spice cereal and pop tarts that she'll share with me. I offer a grateful thanks, honored that she would share what little she has with a stranger.

We stay by the coop for a while. Thorin watching the chickens more than us. She tells me about her school and her friends. I can hear the pain, the uncertainty as she talks of them. But I can also hear how pleased she is to finally give attention to the memories.

I repay it with stories of my own. I tell her about sweet Luna who adores animals. I tell her about brilliant Hermione who remembers everything she's ever read. I tell her about Ron with so many brothers and only one sister. And I tell her of Neville, quiet shy but so very brave.

It is something like relief to talk of them. The memories become more solid, more tangible. I can remember that Hermione always smelled of ink and parchment and the faintest scent of green apples. I remember that Neville always had dirt under his nails and always smelled like something green and sunshine. I remember how Luna makes me think of colors, always vibrant and glowing.

She listens and smiles. We laugh and listen and it's wonderful. Our friends come alive between us, more real with each story. And the ach in my chest that's been there since the first day, it lessens just a bit.

Time got away from us easily. She only leaves after assuring each other that we'll talk more again. I walk back to our camp with a smile, glad to have a friend again.

I stop at our tent. A noise, a groan, sounds from the other side of the RV. I glance up at Dale who is glaring off into the distance. Or well, it's a displeased glare for him. But he isn't even glancing towards the sound.

It occurs again and a bubble of panic builds in my chest. I unhook Thorins leash from my belt, whispering for him to stay here and stay quiet. Then with my gun drawn, I slip around my tent and the back of the RV.

I immediately duck back around. That was not something I should see. It was also not something that should be out in the open. 

I hurry back to Thorin, my gun hostlered and my cheeks burning. He stayed where I left him, watching me closely as I approach. I hold out my hand and he rushes forward, passing the leash to me. I tie it back to my belt and take his hand.

We should go somewhere else, away from the RV. Carol and Amy are putting up clothes on a line between a couple of trees nearby. It's far enough away while still safe so I tug Thorin over to help.

Carol smiles weakly at our approach. Amy's smile is a bit more genuine. Both readily accept our help. So we get to work, pinning clothes to the line. Thorin holds up the clothes or a pin as needed for each of us. 

By the time we're finished with the laundry my cheeks no longer burn. Dale glares more disappointment at Sirius sitting in a folding chair by his tent. He's smiling brightly, talking animatedly with T dog who looks a bit embarrassed for some reason.

Andrea is further away, walking up the porch steps where Shane and Rick are talking shop. I blush again, remembering what I had seen. There's no way I can be near either one today. So I make an excuse to the others and pull Thorin off to see the horses again. I just hope this doesn't cause any trouble. 


	20. A magic trick

Chapter 20: a magic trick

Our third day on the farm, Merle insisted on a supply run. He and Daryl have gone hunting most days, always bringing back something. But for some reason Lori has taken over the farmhouse.

She decided for some reason that she should cook a meal for the Greene's as a thank you. Of course she hasn't taken any food inside with her so I don't know what she plans to cook. I do know she's been in their house all day. 

Rick doesn't even try to reel her in, no one does. Instead they just let her go in and take over their kitchen. None of the Greene's are happy with her behavior but she seems oblivious to it.

She still orders the group around like she's the queen. For some reason, being on the farm makes her even more self important than she has been. And the others try to keep the peace which in my opinion only makes her worse.

Carol has been quiet, not that I blame her. She will sometimes look over at us painfully. It makes me worry about leaving Thorin with her. But she agrees, and Glenn agrees to help her if she needs.

Merle and Daryl insist on me going with them which aggravated Sirius like crazy. He doesn't trust them for some reason and they don't like him either. But so far they're being somewhat civil towards each other.

I climb into the truck with Merle driving and Daryl on my other side. I don't know if we actually need anything but it's also a relief to just get away for a while. Although I do feel twitchy with Thorin so far from me.

We drive for a while, not stopping until we reach a large store with a lot just as big. There are walkers here, groups of them while some wonder alone. It looks dangerous but that also may mean that its untouched.

Merle drives around back, parking the truck between two large shipping trucks, both with advertisements for the store printed on the side. He and Daryl slip out, killing the sole walker nearby. Then they each take a truck, opening the back to peak inside.

Merle calls quietly, "Bedding and stuff."

Daryl replies just as quietly although slightly more pleased, "Food."

We move to the truck Daryl found to peer inside. It's full of palettes stacked tall with canned goods. It will be more than enough to keep us fed for a while.

Merle slaps my back saying, "Well, kid, get to work."

I blink back startled, questioning him without saying the words. His gaze softens as he says, "You can trust me an you can trust my brother. Just do your thing, kid. We'll guard your back."

Daryl watches amused but not like he really believes it. I rub sweaty palms against my thighs to dry them. This is a bad idea! This can go so wrong.

Merle nudges me encouragingly. Or, at least, I think he meant it as encouragement. It was rough enough to hurt just a little bit I don't think that's what he meant to do.

It takes me a while to work up the nerve to do it. Four walkers find us but the brothers are quick to put them down. I tell myself to just do it, just get it over with.

This spell is easy now, like breathing. It's a conscious effort to stretch my power out but it's a movement my magic knows. So I press my palms to the truck and push out my magic.

Its slower without a wand. My magic stretches out from my palm like boneless fingers only there's thousands of them. They worm their ways around the truck, filling every nook and cranny. Then they pull, tightening like the coils of a snake. It tugs everything into place, pulling it tighter and tighter. It takes a solid minute, maybe a little more. Then all that's left is a small toy sized truck in my hand.

Daryl curses loudly which makes me jump. He's gripping his crossbow, looking at me as if I'm somethingn too strange to understand. I knew this would happen! I knew I shouldn't have shown him!

My chest is tight, my hands grip the truck enough to hurt my palms. I step back, knowing not to run but also too afraid to stay still. Because he hates me now. He'll hurt me! They'll hurt me! They'll kill me! Because I'm a freak!

Merle smacks his brother hard enough to make him stumble. He hisses out angrily, "I done told ya he could do it so don't ya dare act a fool, Daryl!"

Daryl blinks, looks between us, and blinks again. He curses, relaxing his grip on his weapon. Then he paces back and forth, looking anywhere but at me.

Merle steps close making me flinch back a step. He holds up his hands, calling softly, "It's okay, kid, we won't hurt ya. He was just surprised is all. But you're safe with us, kid, I swear it."

He steps forward and I sway back but my feet don't move. My chest hurts, my head pounding. And I'm distantly aware that I'm shaking, trembling. 

I'm not a fool. I'm not a coward either but I'm not stupid. The Dursleys knew what I could do and they still hurt me. What's to stop these people from tearing me apart? What's to stop them from burning me alive or shooting me in the head or anything?

Merle touches my arm and I jump, half caught between holding my ground and needing to flee. He keeps talking but I don't listen. He may not hurt me but Daryl still might. He's pacing like a damn caged tiger, anger in every movement. Rage is building in him, visible even from here. And I don't want that rage directed at me.

Not when they can do so much worse than the Dursleys. They butcher bodies all the time. Animals, sure, but they could stomach a person I'm sure. And they won't shy away from blood. Rage in a person capable of rendering a body down to parts, that's never good.

Merle snaps again, snarling out words over his shoulder that make me jump. Daryl glares at us then turns and storms away, his crossbow aimed ahead of him. Merle goes back to whispering to me softly but I don't catch the words.


	21. Raiding and apologies

Chapter 21: raiding and apologies

I don't know how long I stay there trembling. I know when it stops I feel weak and shaky and so very tired. Merle offers to let that be it, we can go back with just the truck. But we're already here so I agree to gathering supplies.

We enter the back door. I tuck the small truck in my bag, frowning at the blood smeared on it. There's creases on my palms where it looks like the truck broke skin. But I'm a fast healer so it fixed itself quickly enough. I didn't even notice I was hurt.

Merle eyes me in concern, glancing over often as we work. The back room is a long room full of shelves stacked high with supplies. There are a few walkers here but he takes them out quickly. Then we set to work moving items.

I freeze when we step back outside. Daryl is leaning against the truck, smoking a cigarette. Part of me wants to run, another says be ready to fight. Somehow that leaves me unable to move.

Merle steps around me, carrying cases of water. Daryl snaps his head up, looking first at his brother then at me. He watches me a moment, something painful twisting across his face. Then he hunches his shoulders, mumbling something to Merle as he approaches. Merle snaps back angrily which makes Daryl curl up more.

He drops the water in the back of the truck. Daryl falls into step as he comes back this way. I tell my body to move but it doesn't. I tell myself to keep something between us but my feet won't obey.

Daryl hunches more, keeping his crossbow pointed down. He looks everywhere but at me as they move past to enter the building. As soon as the door clicks shut I gasp out a breath I didn't even know I was holding. Then I quickly rush to the truck to put down the heavy case of water.

They come back out, each carrying two cases of water. I scurry around the other side of the truck and hurry inside while they're dropping it into the truck. Once inside I turn away from the water, grabbing toilet tissue from an area of household goods.

The door opens and I freeze. Both come in, going over to grab some food. I hurry out, barely holding onto several packs of tissue. This repeats itself twice more before Merle snaps.

"For fucks sake!" He shouts, "If you don't fuckin apologize now I'm gonna beat your ass!"

Daryl and I both flinch. I hurry out an apology even if I'm not sure what I'm apologizing for. But if they need an apology then fine. Only that makes Merle glare at Daryl even more.

Merle turns, stomping off inside. I hurry to follow him but he pointedly closes the door as soon as he's through. It was a very obvious 'don't follow'. I sniffle, looking around nervously for something to do.

"I didn't mean ta scare ya," Daryl says softly, watching me calmly. "I though Merle was joking or high or somethin when he said ya could do that shit."

I nod, wanting this over so we can go. He flinches, looking away only to make himself look back. He speaks softer this time, "I won't ever hurt ya, I swear. Don't know why it scared ya so much this time when I ain't never scared ya before. But I won't hurt ya, specially for somethin ya can't help."

I watch him, unsure if I should believe him or not. But there's no rage now, only guilt and regret. I still hesitate, but the eyes don't lie. He didn't mean to scare me. He won't hurt me. He believe that and feels guilty that I was scared.

I swallow loudly, nodding because my throat is too tight to speak. How do you say sorry I thought you were going to murder me? How do you say, i thought you would torture me until I die because you looked so enraged? I don't know how to say it so I don't.

I shuffle awkwardly for a moment, uncertain what to do. The door opens, Merle steps out with canned food stacked high in his arms. He looks between us, asking, "Y'all good now?"

I glance at Daryl who is looking guiltily back at me. I nod, wanting this whole mess to be done. Daryl sighs out a quiet, "Yeah."

We pull all the food that we can, stuffing the truck bed full. I make sure to grab feminine products since we're always low on those. Neither brother comments on that addition. Then we do another sweep through, grabbing soaps and detergents and whatever else we can cram into the truck.

We head back with our haul. Merle says we'll keep coming back until we get it cleared. Daryl chews his thumbnail distractedly but agrees.

Merle stops less than a mile from the turn to their drive. He has me get out and resize the truck. He says we need to bring it in so queen B will stop feeding the Greene's their own damn food.

Daryl hops out to drive the big rig. Merle shakes his head, pulling me back to his truck. He sighs tiredly, "We'd never hurt you. I don't know why ya reacted so bad but, kid, I swear we'd never hurt ya."

"People dont like those who are different," I reply quietly.

He frowns, glancing at me in concern as the farmhouse comes into view. He says, "I done gave my word we'd protect ya, me an Daryl both. Ya ain't ever gotta fear us, ya hear?"

I nod my agreement. I'm not sure I believe it, they have no reason to make such a promise. And the rest of the group would turn on me like a pack of rabid dogs. All it takes is the brothers slipping up and I'm in for a world of pain. But I believe that Merle, at least, believes what he says. And I think Daryl won't hurt me, hopefully.


	22. A violent misunderstanding

Chapter 22: a violent misunderstanding

Daryl has been avoiding me the last few days. Everyone was excited by the haul, even the Greene's were appreciative. But Daryl walked off as soon as he stopped the truck and has stayed away since then.

Merle seems to alternate between hovering near me and stomping off after his brother. Sirius knows something is wrong but I just shrugged it off as a close call. He and Merle have been shooting glares at each other since then.

Sirius is still giving me space. Mostly because hes doing stuff with Andrea. I can't say they're going out or anything because they only seem to slip away and come back ruffled. They never go far though so it's no secret what they're doing.

Dale is furious because he thinks of Andrea like a daughter. Well, not furious, but constantly displeased. It doesn't help that Sirius will loudly brag about what they get up to, mostly to T dog and Shane. It makes for a tense situation. 

I tend to stay away, usually with Beth or just Thorin. Sometimes we sit out by the pond and watch the ducks. We've gone to pick fruit a time or two. And often we will talk of our friends, swapping stories.

The Greene's have agreed to let us take turns in their shower. To be reasonable, we have a schedule set. Only three people a day will get a turn so we don't strain their resources. 

I wash Thorin first, sending him off with Beth who promised to read to him in her room. She has some story about some kids that stumble through a wardrobe and find a whole other world. The two of them get along wonderfully, thick as thieves already. And I appreciate having someone I can trust to help with him.

It's my turn in the shower so I try to hurry. Beth already said I could use her shampoo if I wanted. So I rinse my hair, the scent of pumpkin all around me making my eyes water. 

I shut off the water and step out, wrapping a towel around myself. I move quickly, not liking being so exposed even if the door is closed. I get my underwear and pants up as a click sounds behind me.

I turn, startled at the sound. Merle stands there staring in shock. Then anger takes him, he grabs my arm and spins me around. I'm too afraid to fight.

I know what he sees. Uncle Vernon liked to use his belt. Even now my back will tense up and burn with the memory. But these scars are old now. He hasn't used a belt since the summer a year ago.

Merle snarls angrily, releasing his hold on my arm and storming off. I breath a sigh of relief that he didn't hurt me but I doubt he'll let it go. I reach for my shirt but Merle shouts Sirius' s name and I freeze.

He doesn't think...

Surely he wont...

Damn!

I race out of the room, forgetting my shirt and shoes. The front door slams as I reach the staircase. I rush down, slipping but catching myself hard against the railing. Then I racing out the door.

Merle is halfway to the group and snarling at Sirius. Sirius is up and yelling back angrily. Both are too temperamental to stop once they start so I can't let them fight.

A shout calls behind me, a woman's voice but I don't turn to look. Daryl looks up startled as I pass but he's soon on his feet. T dog and Shane are shoving Sirius back while Rick moves to intercept Merle.

I shout Merles name. I call him to stop, just wait. He tenses up but doesnt even slow.

I reach him before he gets to them. I grab his arm, pulling him back. He turns with a growl, "This why ya scared of him? This why ya panicked with us?"

"It wasn't him!" I yell back, pleading for him to believe me.

He snarls like an angry bear, glaring hateful back at Sirius. Sirius looks at us confused, letting T dog push him back. Shane moves to stand with Rick, both eyeing Merle as the bigger threat.

"It wasn't him," I nearly beg. "I didn't even know he existed til I was thirteen, nearly fourteen."

"Pup?" Sirius calls confused. 

The others are watching but they can't see me because Merles mass is blocking me from view. I feel more than hear Daryl move up behind me. He hisses, half in pain and half in anger. But Merle has stopped advancing now at least. He's still trembling in fury, still glaring hatefully. But at least he's stopped advancing.

"I told you already," I tell him softly, "people don't like those that are different. When my parents died, i was sent to my mother's sister. She hated my mother, hated her for her beauty and intelligence and for marrying my father."

Merle looks back confused, some of the rage has cooled. I rub up and down his arm, hoping to sooth him. It seems to work, he's slowly settling down. 

I glance pass him at the others but they're staying back. Nosy and listening intently but unwilling to intervene. I also hear Hershel and Otis approaching from the house. But when I turn I notice that I'm blocked from their view by Daryl.

I look back at Merle, grateful that he was willing to protect me. No one has ever done that before. No one ever really meant it, no one ever followed through.

"I told a teacher, she called my aunt and repeated everything I said," I confess. "I was suspended from school for spreading lies."

He flinches, looking away. His eyes roam over the group, eying them challengingly. Then he turns to face me, moving just so to box me in between him and his brother. It's not meant as a threat, it's another form of protection. They're shielding me.

"I told a police officer," I admit quietly. "He drove me home and told my uncle what I said. I didn't tell after that."

He looks down at me, pain in his eyes. He was willing to act when everyone else turned away. He offered protection when people who've known me for years couldn't care less.

"My friend saw, told his parents," i tell him. "He got grounded but they let me stay with them for two weeks. But I wasnt their family and anothers family isn't their business."

His nose flares angrily but he still doesn't look away. The others are keeping distant, not wanting to make things worse. Daryl presses closer, more to shield me from them.

"My friend Hermione tried to tell people but she was just a kid, we were just kids."

He presses closer, boxing me in tighter between the two of them. I lean against him, feeling him trembling. Daryl presses a shaky hand to my shoulder, squeezing gently.

"Hermione would help me gather supplies each summer so I wouldn't worry about infections," I whisper against his chest. "Ron would sneak me food when he could. But there wasn't anything we could do."

He leans his head down, pressing his cheek to the top of my head. Daryl leans his closer, pressing against both me and his brother. Sirius calls me again, softer now. I don't answer him.

I do tell them, "Lots of people knew, it just wasn't important. I was just the delinquent son of a delinquent drunk who died and left me with my good hard working relatives."

Both brothers snarl at that. I squeeze my eyes shut, pressing my forehead against his chest. I can almost pretend it's just them hearing this. I can almost pretend I don't hear footsteps approaching from behind us, probably Hershel. I can almost pretend that I don't hear the group whispering, voice not quite low enough.

"No one cared really," I admit softly, shamefully. "It wasn't their business so they didnt want to get involved. And when they saw it, well... There were always excuses, always pity but never help."

"Why don't we get you three inside," Hershel speaks softly, holding out something cloth that Merle takes. "For the boy, let's get him covered."

Merle and Daryl shift enough to drape the shirt over my shoulders. It's a red and black flannel, far too large. From the size alone I know it came from Otis. He stays back though, leaving Hershel to be the only one to approach.

Hershel offers soft kind eyes, "Lets get you back inside, son. That little boy of yours is worrying a hole in my couch I'm sure."

I don't want to go inside, around them all. But I need my shirt, my socks and shoes. I need to see to Thorin who probably is worried about me. But I really don't want to face anyone right now.

Merle and Daryl move, both looking each other in the eye and communicating something between them. Then they shift their hold, keeping themselves between me and the group. They walk, staying pressed close, leading me back to the house.

Otis backs off, waving the teen boy Jimmy to step off the porch and follow him. Maggie steps down with a blonde woman, Patricia, and they hurry off towards the horse stable. That leaves the porch clear as we walk up.

Beth is in the living room. Thorin wiggles out of her lap, running for me the moment I step inside. I scoop him up, tucking him in close and breathing his scent.

Hershel directs us to the couch, closing the door behind us. Merle sits down, tucking me and Thorin into his side. Daryl shifts his feet uncertainly. A look at Merle has him shuffling outside again.

I didn't want them to know. I didn't want Sirius to know. Especially like that. But I don't blame Merle. He did more in half a glance than most even thought to do with far more knowledge. I sniffle, pressing closer. I really don't want to face the others right now.


	23. Shots fired

Chapter 23: shots fired

Life on the Greene farm isn't bad. Thorin and I spend most of the day with Beth. Her boyfriend Jimmy doesn't like it. Neither does Dale for some reason. But we always stay where others can see us.

It's nice to spend time with her. It's nice to have a friend again. And she never asks about my scars, never even looks like she's thinking it. Instead we reminisce about our friends, sharing stories and memories and laughing.

Sirius tried to talk to me about what happened. I told him Merle saw my scars and thought he had done it. Then he asked to see my scars, frowned when I said no. He asked why I didn't tell him, i just shrugged. 

He isn't happy with me now but I don't think he's mad. On the plus side, he and Merle are no longer snapping at each other. They seem to come to some sort of agreement. Neither would tell me what but at least it keeps the tension down.

Dale is red faced every time I see him now. He even glares with real anger at Sirius. Andrea has started following Shane around more for some reason. But Sirius doesn't seem all that bothered. In fact, he seems amused by it all.

Merle huffed and said it was because of the sisters. He said Dale isn't their father and needs to back off. But he also said Sirius is stirring the pot like crazy, whatever that means.

My tent was moved further from the RV, next to the Dixons tent. I'm not sure who moved it but I admit I do sleep better now. Although I could do without the pitying looks and awkward conversations that came from what happened. At least I know Glenn and T dog both meant well. It was still awkward.

Lori spends more time in the Greene's kitchen than with our group. She's glowing as some kind of Susie homemaker persona. It blinds her to the increasingly heated glares Maggie throws her way. She's even deaf to the more snappish comments that come from several of the Greenes.

Rick spends his time trying to talk Hershel into letting us stay at least until winter ends. I don't know why. To me this place just feels too exposed. But to Rick it's a slice of heaven that he wants desperately.

I tried suggesting we hit a home improvement store for wooden boards and iron fences to really secure this place. Hershel doesn't want us getting comfortable on his farm so he refuses. Shane is still set on going to some fort and shoots down any suggestion otherwise.

I tried to convince Rick to take over another farm. This is the Greene's home and we shouldn't be burdening them like this. But he won't budge, even if it's just down the road. And no one but the Dixons even listen to my complaints about how we can't stay.

Merle and Daryl took me out everyday for a week after that little reveal of mine. We completely cleared the super store. Most of it is shrunken down in my bag. Some things we brought back for the group but most I'm sorta hoarding with their approval.

Glenn and Maggie have been sneaking off more and more lately. Dale and Hershel both shake their heads at them but neither puts up a fuss. For some reason, they approve of that pair. 

There was also a bit of drama when Amy found a positive pregnancy test and brought it out to the group at supper. Andrea panicked, yelling at Amy for getting knocked up and demanding to know with who. Amy yelled back that it wasn't hers but she found it nearby.

Accusations were flying around. Dale turned on Sirius. Sirius laughed that he's sterile, something he's been all his life. But he winks at me so I don't know if he's telling the truth with that or not.

Shane stayed tense. Then his face went red and he stomped off, shooting odd glares from a distance at Rick. Lori paled, keeping her head down and focused on her plate while Rick tried to calm the group. And Glenn curled more into himself, shooting guilty looks at Lori and pleading ones at T dog for some reason.

The next day brought more drama. Glenn took his plate of breakfast, eggs and hash browns made from canned potatoes. Then he sat down next to Dale, looking pale and nervous but resigned.

"There's walkers in the barn," he blurts out.

It takes a moment, everyone turning the words over in their heads as if the meanings have changed. Then they're all up and running for said barn. Glenn stumbles out an explaination of how he found them. Shane snarls at him but Dale moves to defend. Even Rick seemed to know about this, telling Shane to calm down.

Tensions built from there, like a shaken soda ready to pop. Rick went off to talk to Hershel again. By afternoon, Shane had worked himself into a bit of a frenzy. He came over with a bag of guns, passing them out.

Maggie tried to stop him. She yelled that her dad would make us all leave. But he didn't listen, didn't care. They've been trying to push us out for a while and the group has ignored it all so why listen now.

Thorin clings to my neck, frightened of all the anger and yelling. I hold back, afraid to be caught in the middle of whatever mob mentality will push them to do. Merle stays at my side, eyeing me and Beth who's come over with concern.

Hershel and Rick show up with two walkers on dog poles. Shane lashes out, shooting the one Hershel holds. He's yelling, taunting the man as he lays breathless on the ground. The he takes an axe to the barn door.

Rick yells for him to stop but he ignores it. Maggie is pleading with Glenn to do something but he just looks lost. Beth clings to my arm, pressing against me fearfully. Merle curses, moving a step in front of us, shielding the three of us from this.

Shane yells louder, angry encouragement mixed with dark challenge. Groans are heard as the doors squeak open. I pull Beth close, turning her to hide against me. Shots fire.


	24. A problem solved early

Chapter 24: A problem solved early

The group seemed to come back to themselves. A few even look around with genuine remorse. But they were all too willing to fire weapons. The noise was insanely loud, still echoing silently around us all.

Hershel it seems had a breakdown and ran off. Rick and Glenn went after him. Otis took up a guard position at the farmhouses front door to keep the group out. That pissed Lori off who seems to think she can go where ever she likes.

I stay by our tent, pressing against Merles side. He doesn't chase me off, he never does. And he glares at anyone who comes near. I tuck Thorin back in our tent with his toys, the leash still between us so he won't be afraid.

"Ain't it hot in there?" Merle asks, nodding to Thorin in our tent.

I shake my head, "I tell it to stay cool so he won't overheat," I whisper back.

He hums, nodding as if he understands. He doesn't talk much about my magic, especially when the group is near. But he likes to watch me shrink things and sometimes he has questions.

I never know how much to tell him. I'm still scared that it will end badly somehow. So for the most part I leave my answers vague if I can. He accepts them, regardless of how much or little I say. 

I must say I appreciate the support. Even Daryl is more curious now when I use my magic. Both understand why I'm afraid to tell the group so they run interference for me when I need it.

Merle got a hold of a map. It's spread over the ground in front of us as we look it over. Merle, at least, believes me when I say those gunshots will draw in a herd. So we're going to make plans for where to go when they hit. Because they will come here, we know that. And for whatever reason, the others are ignoring the threat looming over us.

"Farms are too open," Merle reasons aloud. "We need something with fences."

"What about those rich neighborhoods?" Daryl asks, "Ain't they got fences an walls an shit?"

"Where would one be?" I ask, looking over the map as if it will jump out at me.

Daryl snorts, "Fuck if I know."

"Would they?" I ask, nodding to the group currently pretending they didnt gun down a bunch of walkers who were clearly family to our hosts.

Merle snorts, "Naw, these are the soccer moms and shit, they ain't fancy house rich. Them dumb fucks got outta dodge quick but they probably got ate too."

As it turns out, Glenn actually does know of a community north of the city. "It's a new construction," he admits, "but I've delivered there twice."

He shows us on the map where it is. Merle even compliments him. Well, it's a Merle kinda compliment but he seems to understand that this time. 

He tells us what little he knows. It's made of two rows of townhouses on either side of a central street. Each townhouse is two stories with small backyards. There's a park at the end, boxing in the back. There's even a pool at the park area that's also fenced in.

He admits that they were going to build more homes but he thinks those townhouses were enclosed by a complete fence. It's enough for us to mark it. The only other one he knows of is in the city itself and that isn't safe right now but we mark it too.

T dog wonders over, asking what we're up to. I tell him, knowing he will take whatever Merle says wrong. There's still a tension between them, odd glares passed back and forth at times. It's best to keep a buffer between them whenever possible.

"What about distribution centers and food pantries?" T dog asks.

Merle laughs, clapping his shoulder and offering a crass compliment. T dog frowns but between him and Glenn we're able to mark down five that we're sure of. At least this will give us a plan when the worst hits.

Shane drives up with Lori. She demands her husband only to turn on Shane when it's revealed Rick isn't here. Shane bursts out that shes pregnant and needs to think of the baby. Carl, unfortunately, is witness to this unnecessary drama.

I glance back to be sure Thorin is still in our tent. I can hear him muttering, even making sound effects as he plays. At least he's safe from thos nonsense.

It's hours later that Rick shows up. He brought back Glenn and Hershel but they also brought back a guy, an older teen. They hurry him into the shed, shouting for Patricia to bring his kit.

Sirius follows, as does Merle. There's a lot of yelling, accusations and excuses. Patricia hurries out with the bag clutched tight in her hands. Then theres a pop, a familiar sound. And the voices get more frenzied.

Sirius leaves angrily, Patricia jumping out of his way. He slides his gun back in the holster, glaring angrily back at Rick who's following him out. They both start yelling at once.

Rick shouts murder. Sirius shouts threat. Rick claims the boy coulda been saved. Sirius argues that he was a danger to the group.

Merle walks past both, frowning but not really bothered. He shakes his head, muttering, "Damn man didn't even hesitate a second."

Daryl frowns worriedly at that, eyeing the group arguing. Carol comes over to ask what happened. Merle barks out that Rick brought back a threat and Sirius put it down. She doesn't look pleased as she heads back to the RV.

Thorin peaks out of the tent, oblivious to the drama unfolding. He whispers softly, "I'm hungry."

I slip into the tent with him. It takes a moment to crawl over and around the various toys laid out. I have to be careful that the others don't see me with our supplies. 

"What would you like?" I ask, pulling my pack closer.

He hums, "Strawberries and nuggets, please."

I pull out a cooler with fruit in it first. It's quick to resize and take out a small case of strawberries. Then I reseal and rethink it.

The nuggets are a little different. I have plenty of frozen foods but I also have some cooked foods, or I do now. It was really my curiosity that caused it. I remembered getting warm food on my birthdays from the Weasleys so I wanted to try.

Sirius and I had not just hit stores but restaurants too. We even stayed a few days in a diner that had a working generator. Of course Sirius had to keep the doors and window awarded like crazy because the walkers were all around it. But it was kinda nice for a while.

Either way, I have several coolers under preservation charms that have food in them, cooked food. So there's burgers with all the toppings wrapped or boxed up. There's loads of chips, Americans call them fries. There's even boxes of Chinese that Sirius cooked in the kitchen of an overrun restaurant as well as steaks and pastas and tacos.

They were in Sirius's pack when we split. He gave me a few since he knows I give Thorin food from my bags.   
I don't get it out often because the smells will travel and someone may get curious. But we've eaten from them a time or two. The Dixons don't know about them yet either, only Thorin, Sirius, and I know I have them.

I open it quickly, pulling out the plastic plate with nuggets and chips. I even grab one with a burger and chips for me. The I reseal it and shrink it back down. Once they're put away we eat. Although I wish the containers weren't so noisy. At least the group out there is too distracted to pay any attention to us.


	25. Inevitable

Chapter 25: inevitable

I warned them but they wouldn't listen. Rick was just too stuck on staying to hear any other option. Even when I showed them the map they didnt care.

Sirius lied, saying he'd seen the boy before. He said he knew that boy had raped a little girl, only ten years old. That he and the guys he ran with boasted to the girl that she was their fifteenth. It helped that he described the guys that the boy was with.

Hershel agreed to let us in the house. So we packed our tents and supplies up. Mine and Sirius went in the Dixons truck while the others put there's in different vehicles. We still have the semi truck from the super store although most of the supplies in there have been moved into the basement of the house.

Maggie moved into her sisters room. Glenn and T dog took hers. The Grimes took the room Carl stayed in when he was shot. The rest of us stayed down in the living room.

Days were spent nailing boards over the windows. They still refused to make a run for iron fences or something. I even suggested we just put them around the house but no one would listen. 

Thorin and I now sleep in the far corner. Both Dixons have their palettes, head to head, separating ours from the rest. No one seems to care that they're so territorial. And there's a new tension between Sirius and Merle that I don't understand. Whatever it is, it seems to be a shared threat.

Sirius sleeps near the couch where Amy curls into his side. And boy did that cause some trouble. Andrea blew up when Amy kissed Sirius. Apparently he's sleeping with her now. Andrea has been lashing out like an angry cat ever since. 

Shane is odd at times. Sometimes he's normal like. Other times it's like he's on the verge of exploding in rage. It's made everyone twitchy but no one is trying to reel him in.

Night falls, a gunshot sounds nearby. Everyone pours out onto the porch but it's too dark to see. A quick check shows that Shane and Rick are missing. 

Sirius curses, ordering everyone inside and the lights off. He says there's walkers out there. Of course Lori takes that moment to say Carl is gone. I swear that woman doesn't even try to watch her kid.

Sirius orders everyone to gather their supplies. He tells them we'll have to leave because there are just too many. Hershel argues that he won't leave the farm. Lori argues that she won't leave her husband or son. The group is too splintered.

I grab our bag, helping Thorin put on his dino pack and attaching the leash to me. Then I pick him up, hold him close. Because we're going to run and I wont lose him.

Merle and Daryl grab their supplies, leaving the blankets behind. Merle tells me to go in the trunk with Daryl. He says he and Sirius will take the bikes which gets a grin from Sirius.

Carol hurries to follow. T dog helping her load a bag. Glenn and Maggie both argue with Hershel, begging him to leave. Beth is crying, hugging herself in the corner of the room.

I grab her arm, pulling her with me. She latches on, running when I run. Outside is chaos even before the first shot is fired. There are hundreds of them, most around the barn but a good thirty or so coming for the house.

The truck door squeaks loudly. I shove Beth in, passing Thorin to her. Daryl stands at the drivers door, firing at the walkers approaching. So I take up a stance and start firing too. 

There's just too many. A woman screams, falling under five walkers. It must be Patricia because Otis wades forward to help her. He's lost to more that come up. Both die screaming.

Someone drives Dales RV over to the barn. It's on fire, burning brightly now. Glenn gets Maggie into her car, speeding off through a group of walkers. T dog drags Carol and Hershel into the farm truck. They ram through two walkers and part of the fence.

Daryl shouts enough, climbing in to drive. I hurry to get in, closing the door as a walkers hand hits the glass. I hear the bikes, motors loud as they circle around us. 

We're off now. The truck bumping along through the grass. Both bikes lead the way, side by side and both firing guns. The walkers are still piling out of the woods. The animals scream in pain and panic as they're ripped apart.

Beth is sobbing and shaking. I hold her, unsure how to calm her right now. We follow Sirius and Merle along the road for a while. Both are watchful and cautious but driving fast to get some distance.

We pull into a gas station with a repair shop on the side. It's rusted and looted but Sirius and Merle clear the inside for us to hide. We drive the truck in through the open garage door. It's far too dark once it's closed.

Daryl clicks on a bright spotlight. Merle clicks on a lantern, placing it on the trucks hood. Both look relieved to be together but troubled by what happened.

Beth mumbles something. I have to prompt her to repeat it again. She asks, "Where are the others? What do we do now?"

I look up at the others, unsure how to answer her. Sirius shrugs, "We tried to get them to plan a meeting spot but they never would. We could try to find them but there's no guarantee we will find them again."

She sobs, pressing closer to me. Sirius shrugs unconcerned. Merle sighs loudly, "We can try where we lost Sophia. They may go there. But we ain't risking it til morning. It ain't safe to drive in the dark."

"We have the map," I remind him. 

He nods, "That'll be our second plan. Glenn and T dog both know about it. They may talk the group to head there."

Beth cries most of the night. Thorin falls asleep fitfully, clinging to me as he does. Sirius sleeps calmly in the back bed of the truck. 

This is all such a mess. We never should've stayed at the farm. We should've put up protections, fences, something. We should've had backup plans and meeting spots picked out already.


	26. Aftershocks

Chapter 26: Aftershocks 

Morning comes too soon. Merle and Daryl didn't sleep. Instead they looked through the store. When that came up empty, Merle asked me for some food. I grabbed the first bag and resized it. It held mostly snacks but that will tide us over. 

Beth wakes red eyed and sniffling. She takes the offered snack cakes with a quiet thanks. Sirius frowns, gaze moving accusingly between the bag, Merle and me. He doesn't comment but I think he now suspects that Merle knows.

Merle drives this time. Daryl and Sirius lead us on the bikes. Thorin wakes up from the light, whinning in discomfort but quieting down quick enough. I give him a snack pack of donuts to eat which he exclaims happily over.

It's not far to the place we lost Sophia. No one is there buts it's clear that someone was. We find blood and Dales body left on the side of the road. He has a bite on his arm, dead but not turned yet. Merle puts a knife in his skull so he won't get back up.

It's clear we missed them. There also is only one direction they could go. So we drive on, keeping a lookout for them. The back roads are deserted unfortunately. Night falls without a single sign of them anywhere.

We spend the night tucked into an abandoned house. It's an older house, probably looked a mess even before the world ended. But whoever lived there was a couponer. They had plastic bins in every cupboard and closet full of all kinds of household items. 

There is still food in the cupboards but it looks like they mostly bought frozen foods. I resized one of my bags of canned meats, mostly chicken and tuna. Then I pulled out a camping stove and Merle helped me set it up. Supper was chicken and ziti pasta with Alfredo sauce. 

We settled in the living room. Daryl and Merle raided the bedrooms for every blanket which they piled in the corner where the couch used to be. Then we all settled down, sleeping together for safety with one person on watch.

Sirius cornered me in the bathroom later. I left Thorin curled against Beth against the wall while I slipped away to pee. The door opens, Sirius slipping in behind me.

"What do they know?" He demands quietly.

I should've known he would ask. It's not like I can keep it a secret for much longer. So I tell him, "Merle and Daryl both know about Thorins brother. They know that's why I left and why he's scared of you."

I finish, zipping up my pants and turning to face him. He frowns, looking somewhat hurt. I sigh, stepping closer, "I told Merle that the first day you got to the quarry. He noticed something was wrong and was worried."

He sighs loudly, "I guess that explains his threats but it don't explain why he hovers over you like he does."

"He's a good guy," I defend. "They both are good guys."

He frowns, eyeing me strangely but not arguing. But he still blocks the door. So I tell him, "They also know I can shrink items."

He sucks in a breath, looking away quickly. I tense up, adding quickly, "They've been really supportive about it. Merle saw me resize a medical bag when Carl was shot. He said he just wanted to know if it was real. They've had me shrinking supplies each time we go on runs together. We have a whole store we collected together."

He moves too quickly, slamming me against the wall. I grunt, the breath knocked out of me, but I'm careful not to shout. I do knock down a pile of towels that land with a thump.

"Are you insane?!" He snarls in my face.

I try to defend myself but he growls out the warning, "They could've killed you! They could've told the others! Do you have any idea what those unstable morons would've done to you?"

I try answer but he doesn't let me. His right hand buried itself in my hair, his left arm across my chest holding me against the wall. He presses his forehead to mine, speaking softer this time, "You're all I have, Puppy. I can't bear it if something happens to you."

His eyes look imploring into mine. I choke on the words, my throat tightening. He presses closer, stroking fingers through my hair.

I sniffle, "I'm sorry, Padfoot."

He sighs loudly against my ear. "I love you more than anything, Pup. I just want you to be safe."

He rubs his cheek against mine. I close my eyes, unable to take the disappointment. I whisper out an explaination, "I never meant to scare you. I trust them, they're good people. And they haven't said a word to anyone. They dont even ask many questions."

He hums, rubbing his cheek against mine. Then he asks softly, "They saw your scars."

I tense up, not liking where this is going. He feels me tense up, rubbing my neck and wrapping the arm from my chest to behind my shoulder. He leans back a little, pulling me gently to turn me around. 

I want to argue but he needs to see for himself. It must bother him that I trust the Dixons more than him. And that's not the case but he won't believe it. 

So I let him turn me around. His hands tremble slightly as he lifts my shirt up to my shoulders. There isn't much light here, just the small lantern I brought with me. He hisses at the sight, clearly able to see.

Fingers ghost over my skin. I tense up, fighting off the memories of the leather belt snapping against my back. He pulls my back, holding me close and resting his chin on my shoulder.

"I'm so sorry, Puppy," he whispers.

I shrug, trying my best to relax in his arms. He nuzzles against my neck, rumbling softly. I huff a laugh, "Padfoot, enough. Let's get back before the others wonder where we're at."

He laughs, rubbing his cheek against mine answering, "Okay, Pup, but you can't block me out again."

I nod, agreeing. He steps back, smiling and pressing a kiss to my cheek. We slip out only to freeze at Merle standing in the hallway. He frowns, looking me over carefully a moment before moving aside. 

Sirius huffs amused, "Relax, big guy, I'd never hurt my godson."

I smile at Merle as we move past him. He touches my arm as I pass. It's just his way of saying that he's there if I need. 

I head back to the palette. Daryl is sitting up on watch, throwing a concerned look at our approach. I slide back in the bed, curling around Thorin and relaxing down to sleep.


	27. On the road again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow😊 thanks to everyone for the comments and kudos💐💐💐💐 I'm glad y'all like my stories, hope you enjoy the rest😊💐💐

Chapter 27: on the road again

The next two days are the same. We wake early, eating something for breakfast before packing back into the truck. Then Sirius and one of the brothers ride their bikes ahead while the other drives us in the truck. 

Our fourth day on the road we barely got ten miles and most of it was us being rerouted by the pileup or herds. We did find a nice neighborhood to hide in for the night. Each of the houses are large, pale brick or stone on the front and high roofs inside.

The first two were already picked over but the third still had some food in the cabinets. We spent all of the third day going from house to house gathering supplies. We even hit the jackpot, a small white and black RV parked on the side of one house. The keys were in the kitchen of the house still.

The RV itself is nice, clearly still new. The front seats are a pale leather that spin to face back into the RV. Then theres a kitchen booth with a table that rises and falls on a lever. Across from that is a couch.

The kitchen is new, nice and clean still. The cabinets only have a few canned items inside but we quickly fill them up. Past the kitchen is a short hall with a shower stall across from a small toilet and sink. Then theres a bedroom in the back with the bed turned sideways.

We bring in blankets and sheets that we scavenged from all of the houses. Then we use the shower stall to hold stacks of food that didn't fit in the cupboards. We end up getting quite a lot shoved in there.

Merle exclaimed loudly about how it has a generator hooked up in a little hatch on the back. He says it's already hooked up and so we now have a usable fridge and stove. We could arguably use the shower because he says there's a small water tank too. But we all agree that the water would be better used for food prep than showers.

Sirius finds a big truck, black four door thing, that he claims. He's quick to spell away the blood and rotten meat smell before the others notice. Merle helps him load his bike in the back. Then they go through the street again, this time siphoning gas from every vehicle they find.

A small herd comes through, maybe two dozen of them. We lock ourselves in a house with an attic room set up like a movie theatre. Nothing works of course but it's a big open area with a lot of pillows and cushions. So we spend the night up there.

Thorin asks for a story so I tell him the only one I know. Hermione loved to read the Hobbit. It was perhaps her favorite story along with the three that came after. She left it with me our second year Christmas break. I think it was her way of sharing something with me to cheer me up.

I do remember the story, probably not well. It doesn't seem to matter though. I tell the story how I remember it, making voices and faces for the different characters. Thorin is thrilled and even the others laugh amused. The night passes with a lot of laughter and smiles. And finally Beth falls asleep without tearstains on her cheeks.

Morning comes slowly. The attic room is comfortable and we're all curled together. Daryl sleeps behind Beth, his back against hers. Then Thorin sleeps in his usual spot between her and me. Sirius sleeps at my back, clinging tightly to me. 

He and Merle seem to switch spots each night. I'm still not sure what's going on with them. Both care about me, of that I'm certain. And neither seem to fully trust the other. 

As much as I hate to say it I trust Merle more. At least I know he won't sacrifice Beth or Thorin for me. I want to believe that Sirius won't but sometimes I'm not sure.

We all wake slowly, stretching and blinking around but unwilling to move. Thorin sleeps the longest, nuzzled against Beth's chest with his feet against my stomach. She flashes me an amused smile, more so as he blinks around like a disgruntled kitten.

We shift and sit up, lazy movements from a restful night. Even Merle is relaxed where he sits against the only window. He says the walkers have moved on so we head downstairs. 

A quick breakfast of pop tarts are passed around. The cookies and cream is good. Beth smiles sadly, saying, "I miss the pumpkin spice ones."

I nod my agreement with her, both of us sharing an amused smile. Thorin eats two birthday cake flavored ones while Daryl claims the double chocolate. We pack up what we don't eat as well as the rest of the food. Another quick search by Daryl and Merle gains us a box of toiletries, a jumbo sized pack of toilet tissue, and a lot of pillows and bedding.

"We'll make a nest in the RV," Merle promises amused. 

Sirius and I take point, guns raised, as we head outside. Beth carries Thorin, walking close behind me. The Dixons follow, carrying the bulk of our supplies. 

"Should we risk searching the rest?" I ask aloud.

"Might as well," Merle responds as Daryl answers, "There's bound to be more good stuff. No use in leaving it."

So we resign ourselves to another day of searching houses. The one next door has a pool in the back as well as a lot of toys. I shrink down most of it, slipping it into a new backpack since my other packs are full.

Inside we find more toys. Three bedrooms which belonged to three small children. I gather some clothes for Thorin from the middle room. 

Beth wonders into the nursery, asking over her shoulder, "Should we bring some of this for Lori? She made it out, right?"

Thorin is occupied with rooting through the toy box for the ones he wants so I step out into the hall. She watches me, something painfully hopeful in her eyes. So I tell her, "Yeah, she'll need it so get what you can."

She smiles relieved. Then she goes back inside to sort through the room. I go back to Thorin, warning him to only pick three toys. He frowns unhappily until I promise to shrink the rest. He remembers that we don't use magic around others. 

He chooses a flashlight that shines different colors and plays soft music. Then theres a garbage truck and a fire truck with loud sirens. He helps me load the rest back in the toychest which I them shrink down and put in his dino pack. He puffs up proudly at that.

I end up taking all of the clothes, stuffing them in garbage bags for now. They're all in his size and he'll need them. Especially the jumpers and jackets once it gets cold. And he takes an immediate liking to the bright red rain boots with cartoon puppies on them.

Beth has several garbage bags full of supplies, all stacked in the hall. There are even diaper bags full to bursting that she carries out. I tease her about leaving anything behind but I help her carry the bags out. We load them in the back of Sirius's truck, stuffing them around his bike. 

The next house used their formal dining room as a pantry. There are shelves lining each wall as well as blocking the window and two freezers in the middle, back to back. We take everything from the shelves, ignoring the silent freezers.

Daryl comes out with some domed cooking thing. He says he saw it on TV once and it's supposed to cook a whole turkey in a couple hours. It goes on the table in the RV. The food we stack on the bench seats and below. By nightfall we've pillaged every house on the street.


	28. Simple things make you smile

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys are awesome💐💐💐💐💐  
> Thanks so much for the kudos and comments😊 I'm supper excited that y'all love this story ❤💐💐💐 hope y'all enjoy the rest😊💐

Chapter 28: simple things make you smile

Morning comes early in the last house. The RV and trucks are packed and ready but we still slept in the house. The master bedroom had a jumpo bed with a lot of pillows and blankets so we all piled in it to sleep last night. 

Daryl snores softly next to Beth, again sleeping back to back. He's always so careful to touch others as little as possible at night. Merle slept on my side, one arm thrown lazily over my waist. But the moment I shift and nudge him away he rolls to his back still asleep.

I nod to Sirius on watch, telling him, "I'm gonna cook breakfast in the RV. You'll watch the others?"

He smiles sincerely, answering, "I won't let you down, Pup."

I smile, waving as I slip out. There's one walker stumbling confused at the sidewalk. I take him out with a quick shot and a quiet pop. Then I climb into the RV.

We all need a good meal, eating just snacks isn't healthy. So today I'm going all out. I grab my pack, pulling out a cooler full of eggs from our store runs in the early days. One carton should be enough. Then I reseal and reshrink it, slipping it back in the bag. 

Another summoning charm get me a cooler of vegetables. I pull out bell peppers and an onion. Reseal and reshrink, then I summon a cooler of shredded cheeses. Then a quick summon for some hash browns before resealing and reshrinking them. That's good enough to make breakfast casserole.

I whip up two dishes full, one I plan to put in the freezer of the RV for later. Then I spray a muffin tin and fill the muffin tin with the breakfast mixture. Those also will be frozen. 

I take out some canned biscuits and gravy packets from another cooler before putting the cooler back. I remember Merle bemoaning the loss of biscuits and gravy so hopefully he'll like this. Then I see the dome on the table and get an idea.

I do have plenty of meat stored away. So I summon out a cooler with frozen hens, already cut and cleaned, the insides hollow. I stuff them with herbs from the RV cabinet and sit them, four of them, under the dome. Then I take some potatoes out of one of my coolers and make quick work of chopping them into cubes and dumping them around the hens. There's a bottle of lemon juice in the fridge so I squirt it heavily on the hens and sprinkle more herbs over the lot.

It takes a bit of fiddling to get the dome to work. There's buttons to turn it on, then you set the timer. It lights up with a strong humming noise so I trust it to work. 

By that point the casseroles are done so I switch them out for the biscuits. Then I whip up the white gravy on the stove and clean up and put away my stuff. My pack I shove in a closet in the bedroom. Hopefully Beth won't bother it because she's the only one not in the know.

The door opens as I take the biscuits out of the oven. Daryl peaks in a moment before stepping aside to let Beth climb up with a sleepy Thorin in her arms. He immediately reaches for me so I take him, smiling a thanks at her. The others climb up the steps, closing the door once they're in.

I tell them what's for breakfast. I even point out the lunch cooking away although you can already smell all the wonderful scents. The casserole has cooled enough to dish out which Beth kindly does. The gravy just needs a minute to cool but the biscuits are good to go.

"Where'd the chickens come from?" Beth asks, pointing at the dome cooking away.

I freeze, unsure what to say. Sirius blurts out easily, "Daryl found em yesterday, two streets over when he followed their clucking. Best spot of luck we've had here, don't you think?"

She smiles, believing the easy lie. Daryl blinks surprised but quickly schools his face to calm. I focus on Thorin, brushing his hair back as he blinks around sleepily.

"Should we stay in the neighborhood?" Beth asks curiously as she plates up the food. "We've had good luck so far. Should we keep searching houses?"

"We got enough to get us going," Merle answers readily. "This is still too close to the city, too big a risk to stay for long."

She nods, agreeing easily. She passes the plates out, first to Merle and Daryl as the pass. Both take a second biscuit and pour gravy over the lot. Sirius passes me and Thorin our plates and takes one for himself.

Merle and Daryl settle down in the front seats, turned to face us, as they eat. Beth settles next to me and Thorin on the couch. He blinks happily at the plate, more awake now. Sirius sits on the floor with his back to the wall next to the hallway. 

Merle exclaims happily over the biscuits and gravy. Daryl boasts proudly of grabbing the dome cooker. Beth hums happily, smiling at everyone while we eat. I shoot a smile at Sirius, worried somewhat about the dark look that crossed his face. He shakes it off, returning a smile easily.

"Where to next?" Beth asks.

Sirius answers, "We'll keep on our destination but we have to loop wide around the city. We'll stick to back roads where it's safer."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notes on Sirius, yeah he's sliggtly sociopathic which is an issue. Harry is the only person that means anything to him and he will try not to upset Harry too much. But he also doesn't fully understand empathy or why Harry latches onto other people. He thinks it's part lonely and part proving a point. He doesn't understand that Harry can really care for these people.
> 
> Sirius slept with Andrea and Amy, charming both of them but having sex semi publically to rub it in the others faces because it amuses him and he doesn't really care about these people. He also thought Harry was trying to sleep with Beth so he was going for the blonde sisters to show Harry they have similar tastes.  
> Now that they're on the road, it's obvious that Harry and Beth are just friends. So Sirius is thinking maybe Harry wants Merle or Daryl. He can't see any other reason to keep these people around then for sex. Which is going to become an issue.
> 
> Yeah Sirius was throwing creepy vibes. He wants Harry all to himself. It's possessive but not necessarily perverse. For the most part, Harry is the only pack He has And he doesn't want to share or lose him. And he's trying different things to win Harry over to staying with just him again because he thinks other people are a threat. So that's gonna get wierd, you'll see. But he won't risk losing Harry so he'll behave until he doesn't have to anymore. Any way, hope you enjoy and hopefully I didn't ruin anything for anyone  
> 😊💐💐


	29. Paradise lost

Chapter 29: paradise lost

It takes us two weeks to get to the gated community Glenn showed us. Besides having to move around the roadblocks, the herds where moving out. More than onces we had to speed off back the way we came and check the map for a way to get around them.

Several nights were spent sleeping together in the RV. There isn't much privacy now which isn't a bother for us guys. But Beth is clearly uncomfortable with it. So we tend to stay in houses when we can. 

We've done well, scavenging a whole host of supplies. We even found a moving van that Daryl took over. His truck we attached to the back of the RV. That way we could carry more supplies with us without being overwhelmed.

We finally reach the gated community Glenn showed us. Bad news is, the gate was left open and there's blood and bodies littering the road and yards. The houses themselves are nothing but burnt shells and smoldering piles. And there are bullet holes everywhere.

"Fucking military," Merle curses angrily.

We stay frozen for a while, almost unbelieving at the destruction. It's not even that we can't keep going. It's that if we keep going, the chance of us meeting back up with the others is slim to none.

We decide to spend the night anyways. Whoever destroyed this place was very thorough. There isn't any supplies to be scavenged but we can use the fence in the park to offer a slight protection. Merle drives the RV up onto the grass, turning wide around the swing and scraping the slide.

We don't bother leaving the vehicles to search the area. Instead we set a watch, Sirius takes first, then we settle in for an early night. Beth hides in the bedroom for a while, crying softly. We give her what privacy we can in such close quarters.

I decide to make pizza for supper. We have flour, sugar, corn meal, and yeast so I've been making bread and rolls lately. We also have lard and cooking oil, the lard makes the bread softer, more buttery like.

I mix the dough, covering it to rise. While that sits I mix up two more bundles for loaves of bread. Technically, it's already time for a late lunch. But none of us are hungry right now so I pass Thorin a breakfast bar and a bag of frosted cereal to tide him over.

By the time the other bread mixtures are set aside to rise, it's time to roll out the pizza dough. I use the table, as my food prep area. Thorin wonders over curiously, watching as I work. I slip the dough on a round pan and slide it in the oven to bake a bit.

Beth is still occupied in the bedroom area crying so I resize a cooler from my pack to sneak out cheese and some bell peppers as well as a pack of pepperoni. Daryl grins happily, watching me work from the front seat while he and Merle clean our guns to keep busy.

"I want to help," Thorin pipes up eagerly.

I lift him up to stand on the bench seat. Then I grab the dough from the oven, it's hot and tan but not yet really brown. He bounces eagerly, excited to help. 

"It's hot so we gotta be careful," I warn him.

He nods eagerly, promising to be careful. I pour some tomato paste from a can on the pizza dough and spread it around with a spoon. Then I pass him the packet of cheese. He bounces happily, grabbing handfuls to drop over the dough. I have to help spread it out because he drops it mostly in one spot.

Then I pass him the open packet of pepperoni. He pulls out a fistful, putting them down one at a time almost overlapping. Merle snorts when he sees it but he's also smiling amused when Thorin looks up at him.

I make quick work of the bell peppers. Thorin reaches over, picking them up as I cut them. He places them as if he's making a pattern but I honestly can't tell what the pattern should be.

I slip it back in the oven. Then we wash our hands and I clean up. I turn around to pack up the cooler and freeze. 

Beth stands beside the cooler, peering in curiously. Then she looks up at me, question obvious in her eyes. I've never been good at lying so that's not really an option. It doesn't help that both Dixons are watching us carefully.

I smile hesitantly, shrugging out a useless, "It's something I can do."

"Keep a cooler of food fresh?" She asks incredulously.

My cheeks burn. I duck my head, looking everywhere else. I've never been good when attention is on me. Man, I wish Hermione was here, she'd have this handled easy.

"Kids got powers," Merle buts in bluntly. "Real damn useful ones too."

Thorin bounces over to her, "Harry makes food appear! Makes stuff real tiny and then big again!"

I clear my throat, embarrassed, "I can shrink stuff and for some reason it stays like it was when I shrunk it."

She blinks confused, "Why didn't you say anything before?"

"You mean that bunch of idiots?" Merle scoffs out at the same time Daryl scathingly replies, "They'd've burned him at the fucking steak in a heartbeat, girl."

She blinks surprised but accepts it easily enough. After all, she witnessed them fall to mob mentality before. I stay tense, waiting for her to react. She must've noticed because she smiles sadly, moving over slowly to hug me close.

I hug her back, even more embarrassed now. I slip back but she catches me, one hand on my cheek as she looks me in the eye. Then she says, calm as you please, "We're lucky to have such a gifted friend."

I duck my head, resting my forehead against hers for a moment. I can still smell the faintest traces of pumpkin in her scent. It's faint, barely there, but it's enough to sooth away the lingering stress.


	30. Living on a prayer

Chapter 30: living on a prayer

We have no choice but to move on. The townhouses were just too destroyed and the gates aren't good enough to offer any protection. So instead we wait until morning and drive back out.

We have to pick a direction and it's not an easy task. No matter what we choose, the likelihood of us finding the others is slim. So any choice we make will only take us further from them. And while that doesn't bother me or the guys, it's clear that Beth is still hopeful to be reunited.

We decide to circle further out. Daryl even takes a moment to spray a message on the road with a green spray paint can he found. He wrote, 'Chinaman, this was a bust, going southbound westward, sticking further out. Tell farmer not to worry, his girl is fine.'

Hopefully it's enough without drawing danger to follow us. And hopefully the message doesn't get washed away. Beth smiles at him, silently thanking him for trying.

We set off again, driving slowly for a few hours before stopping at a new build subdivision. Its too open to stay in but it also give a good line of sight. And Merle is hopeful that we'll find good supplies in these houses.

Beth agrees to stay in the RV with Thorin. He has books and toys to keep himself occupied. There's also some leftovers in the fridge that they can warm up if they get hungry before we get back. I do leave her with a gun and a warning to use it if necessary.

I resize a weapons bag that I pulled out of my pack earlier. I pass them out, each person taking several guns. Each of us have a crossbow too now so we'll use them first and the guns as a last resort. 

We hit the bodies as we pass, just to be sure they don't get up. There's only a few and no walkers to be seen so far. Then we head into the first house. 

The air smells stale, rotten meat like outside. We hurry through the living room, paying little attention to what's in them. I do notice it's bright with a lot of whites and creams and silvers. There's a laundry room behind the kitchen and a sliding door to the back yard.

The back of the house is enclosed by a long wooden fence. We can already see that the next over was broken down, obviously having been overrun. Daryl frowns over the side fence into the other yard, shaking his head. 

We clear the downstairs quickly. The house has a mess of red smears from the kitchen through the living room that I didn't notice before. But the house is so far clear of walkers. Merle and Daryl take the stairs while Sirius and I take the hall.

The room, first on the left side of the hall, looks clear. But there's a grumble sound coming from the second bedroom beside it. I open the door, expecting a weak walker. What I find is a pristine nursery reeking of rotten meat.

The walls are bright pink. There's a nice beige rocking chair with a foot stool in the corner. The crib has a changing table attached, fully stocked with dozens of cloth diapers, each a vibrant color.

Sirius reels back, startled at the smell. The sound comes again. Something moves in the crib.

I take a step forward but Sirius pulls me back, his arm across my chest, "Don't, Pup! Let me do this. I don't want you to have to."

I nod, unable to speak. He turns me around, looking closely for a moment. Then he presses a kiss to my forehead and tells me he'll be right back. He slips into the room, closing the door behind him.

I try not to listen. I don't want to hear it. But the wet squishing sound seems to echo loudly in the silent house. I gag, rushing into the bathroom across the hall. My stomach heaves painfully. 

Sirius steps out into the hall, sparing me a pained look. He rubs my back, whispering softly as I sick up. When my stomach finally stops expelling itself, I turn to cry against him. He holds me close, doing his best to comfort me.

It takes a while for me to calm myself. Then I shake it off, clean myself up with the small amount of rusty water that comes out of the pipes. Afterwards, we get back to work clearing the house.

Merle is waiting at the foot of the stairs, three bags at his feet. Sirius shakes his head so we won't spend the night in the house. I know he's doing it for me, so I won't have to be in there and I do appreciate it.

I enter the RV first while they continue planning. Thorin slams hard into my legs, making me stumble and catch myself on the counter. He babbles excitedly about some story Beth read to him. I grin down at him, some tension in my chest easing now that I know he's safe.

Beth made pasta for lunch. It's a simple penne pasta and herb tomato sauce. She even baked cupcakes which are all lopsided with very messy icing. Thorin proudly tells everyone how he helped. 

Sirius reassures her that well be alright. It's easy to tell that it's bothering her, being away from her family. But there isn't many options available to is. All we can do is keep moving forward and hope we stumble upon the group at some point.


	31. Claimed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Warning*
> 
> Mature content
> 
> Forced oral sex, threats of rape, threatened gang rape.

Chapter 31: claimed

We've been traveling slowly for a week now with no real destination. We've mostly been hitting houses. Some have nothing while others are a goldmine of supplies. We've been clearing them the best we can, the delivery van Daryl drives is now half full of various bags and backpacks full of shrunken supplies.

That's the only real problem with magic. Any item can only be shrunken so much. So if you try to shrink an item that's already shrunken, it will explode. If you try shrinking a bag of shrunken bags, it will be an enormous explosion.

We decided to risk the edge of the city. We want to hit a pharmacy for Beth. Her cycle came and she's been curled up and miserable. We didn't have any women's supplies with our stuff before, I guess we didn't think of it. Merle and Daryl had found some for her in a house to tide her over this time but she needs more.

Sirius agrees to keep watch on top of the RV. Both it and the van are parked behind a big red brick warehouse to keep them hidden. Merle and Daryl both head off for supplies in the truck while I stay behind to watch Thorin and a sleeping Beth.

I figured burgers and chips would be good for when the guys get back. So I have the burgers on a pan in the oven. The buns are already set out with a plate of lettuce, tomatoes, cheese, and onions. Now we just have to wait for the guys to get back.

The door opens behind me. I don't turn, trusting it's the guys coming back. After all, Sirius is on watch. But the voice I hear isn't one I know. The voice calls out a smug, "Claimed!"

I spin around startled. Four men are visible in the doorway. Each is rough and dirty with leather jackets and guns aimed at me.

The first is an older man with shoulder length white hair and a cruel smirk. The one next to him has long greasy dark hair. The next has short hair and harsh scowl on his face.

I raise my hands, praying they don't look down the hall at Beth and Thorin. I need to keep their attention on me. But where is Sirius? He was supposed to be on watch.

"I don't want any trouble," I tell them calmly. "There's food enough for everyone."

From the corner of my eye I see Beth scramble to the corner with Thorin. Hopefully she can get him hidden before they spot her. But they're already stepping further inside, spreading out possessively.

The greasy haired one peaks down the hall, no doubt spotting movement. He snaps out, "Claimed."

"We don't want trouble," I say again, cautious of the weapons aimed at me.

The last three go straight for the food. The greasy one lunges around the short hall, snatching Beth up by her hair. The older one, the one who seems to lead them, moves directly in front of me. He reaches forward to pull my gun from the holster at my hip.

The greasy one throws Beth on the bed. She screams, loud and terrified. He slaps her hard. I try to move to help her, protect her. But the guy presses the barrel of his gun against my chest, the warning clear.

"Please," I plead with the leader, "Take our supplies but let us go. Let her go."

He frowns in mock sympathy, answering, "It's a new world order now, son. It's dog eat dog out there and we're the biggest dogs around."

Beth sobs as cloth rips loudly. The white haired man keeps his gun steady on me, leaving me no choice but to stay put. The others are scarfing down the food layed out, moaning obscenely.

I tense. If I move he will shoot. At this range he won't miss. But Beth needs my help. Where is Sirius? Did they already kill him?

Beth is crying, slapping and struggling against the man. He's laughing, mocking her harshly. I need to help her but how?

"Not her," I plead with the leader. "Please, not her."

He hums thoughtfully, "What'll you give us for her?"

I look around desperately. I don't have anything they can't already take. But she's crying and he's undoing his pants. I can't let him rape her.

"Me," I blurt out desperately. "I won't fight. Just don't hurt her."

The leader laughs, calling amused at the greasy guy. He responds with a laugh and a curse but at least he lets go of her. He looks far too amused as he stalks back towards us. But at least he let go of Beth.

"On your knees," the leader orders.

I can't argue. If I don't then they'll hurt Beth. So I move slowly to my knees, my hands kept up defenseless. I wish I had practiced more spells wandlessly. But the only spell I can do is useless now. And my wand is tucked away safely in my main pack. I curse myself for that mistake.

The leader nods the greasy one forward. His pants are still undone, his penis half exposed. I don't fight when he grabs my hair. I don't fight when he forces his thumb in my mouth, pressing down on my teeth.

"If you bite me, I'll beat her bloody," he warns cruelly.

I nod my understanding. A quick glance shows her watching horrified, still curled up on the bed. But she's alright for now and they don't know about Thorin so he's safe too. We just have to hope Merle and Daryl get back before they turn on her again.

I don't fight when he forces my mouth open. I struggle not to gag as he shoves in harshly. It hurts, hitting the back of my throat. My mouth stretched wide over his unclean skin. 

I squeeze my eyes shut, wishing it would stop. But if he stops he'll hurt her. So I do my best to breath when I can and not struggle.

I hear them laugh and taunt me but I ignore the words. I don't look at Beth now. I don't want to see the horror in her eyes. My stomach churns and my jaw aches. It's all I can do not to vomit on him.

There's a deep snarl, something monstrously vicious. The leader shouts. The greasy one pulls out of me, turning in alarm. I cough, my lip burning from the harsh movement.

I barely see the black fur. Warm red sprays across my face. The leader falls, his throat missing a bloody chunk.

Guns fire. Black mass moves quickly. Two more fall bloody beneath his claws. A third is slammed onto the table, choking harshly from a shredded throat.

The greasy one tries to run towards Beth. Probably just trying to get away from the beast. But it moves quickly, bloody mouth clamping down on his shoulder and shaking him violently.

It throws him to the ground and claws into his belly like it's digging in the dirt. He screams horrified as the massive canine rips him apart. It's muzzle disappears in his belly, burrowing deeper. 

It jerks back, something red and bloody in its mouth. The man stays still, dead. It swallows the red thing in its mouth, red teeth snapping as it scarfs it down.

Grey eyes meet mine. It's only then that I recognize Sirius. Padfoot was the beast.

My hands tremble where they sit on my thighs. There's blood dripping down my face. My jaw is sore, my lips feel bruised.

Padfoot moves closer, long tongue licking over my face. He whines softly, worry in his eyes. I choke out a sob, unable to hold in the panic any more.

He shuffles closer, licking again and again at my face. I turn away but he moves with me. His long canine tongue lapping up the blood, cleaning me. I shove him away when he licks at my mouth. 

I curl up, my whole body shaking. He transforms back, whispering softly while stroking my hair. I let him hold me while I sob.

I don't ask where he was. I don't ask why he didn't stop them before they got inside. I don't ask why he was transformed. Because the answers don't matter. They won't change what happened.

"Fucking hell!" Merles voice snarls from the doorway.

Some tension leaves me then. At least Merle and Daryl will keep us safe. They'll protect Beth and Thorin until my panic passes. We're safer now with them here. But I still can't stop crying.


	32. Cleaning up

Chapter 32: cleaning up

Merle snarled at Sirius, demanding an explaination. Which is reasonable because Sirius was on watch. He should've seen those guys before they ever made it inside. But he left his post.

He sighed, answering, "I went to check our surrounding. There were a few shops just down the road so I thought I'd gather supplies. I didn't expect anyone to show up while I was gone."

"That's why we set a guard, dumbass!" Merle snaps back angrily.

Sirius glares back, "I know, okay, I messed up. But I would never put my godson in danger."

"News flash, asshole!" Merle snarls out, "He was attacked because you left your post!"

Beth stumbles into the room, hugging her torn shirt around herself. Merle blinks startled at her, asking concerned, "You hurt too?"

She shakes her head, looking away embarrassed. Sirius frowns, asking harshly, "Why'd they go for him and not a pretty thing like you?"

She flinches back, looking around wide eyed. I look up at her, understanding her panic. She doesn't want him to lash out at her. And I don't know for sure if he will or not.

"I promised them I wouldn't fight if they left her alone," I answer softly.

Merle curses. Sirius snaps around to me, growly out, "What were you thinking? They would've raped you then gone after her anyways."

I glare back the best I can, "I know but I was trying to buy time until one of you got back. I didn't know where you were but I knew Merle and Daryl were due back soon."

Merle steps forward, this time asking, "What about the runt?"

"In the closet," Beth answers. "I hid him before they saw me."

Sirius glares angrily at her, a slight growl escaping his still bloody mouth. I touch his arm, hoping to distract him. He frowns unhappily at me. I shift closer and he wraps around me, offering comfort while I cry.

Merle orders Beth to stay back by the bed. Then he and Daryl drag the bodies outside. They dont take them far, just out enough to drop them. 

Daryl frowns down at the greasy guys corpse, asking, "What happened to him?"

Sirius grins, canine teeth elongated as he answers, "I ate the fuckers heart!"

Daryl blinks startled but doesnt comment. I feel better once the bodies are gone because I don't want to see them anymore. I just wish I didn't still taste him.

"This is trashed," Daryl frowns at the food on the table. 

Merle hums, grabbing the plate and tossing it out the door. It clatters loudly against the pavement. Daryl grabs the rest, throwing it out as well. Then they pull up the cushions from the bench seats, both covered in gore. They toss them out.

The carpet isn't as easy since it's nailed down. So Merle grabs some bottle of cleaner, pouring it heavily over the still wet bloodstains. He and Daryl both take a scrub brush and get to work cleaning the carpets.

Beth sings softly from the bed. I lean forward enough to peak around Sirius to see her holding Thorin on the bed. At least he's safe and didn't have to witness what happened.

"You shouldn't have done that, Pup," Sirius whispers a scolding against my ear.

I shudder, uncomfortable with the sensation although I try to shrug him off. It just feels wrong being held right now. Although I know he doesn't mean it that way. It's all just in my head.

"I didn't want them to hurt her," I mutter back, doing my best to settle against him. "They would've hurt me anyways. I think it just amused them that I thought I could protect her."

He hums, nuzzling my shoulder. He asks quietly, "Why didn't you cast?"

There's no easy way to answer that. The truth is, I don't want to kill anyone. I would rather disarm them or cast a stupify to knock them unconscious. But I can only cast those with my wand. The only spell I can perform without a want is the shrinking and sealing spells.

I shrug helplessly, whisperin back, "Can't shrink them, didn't know what else to do."

He frowns back, "You could've shrunken them, Pup. Your power is as much a weapon as your gun."

I look away, refusing to meet his eyes. It's a struggle to wiggle away from him. He doesn't want to let me go. Merle snaps his name angrily and he seems to realize that he's upsetting me.

I slip into the toilet to hide. There's a tiny sink and above it is an equally tiny cabinet. But in the cabinet is a box of toothbrushes and some toothpaste. And I desperately need to get that taste out of my mouth.

I brush my teeth three times. I even scrub my tongue with the brush. I wish I had some mouthwash with me bit there isn't any in here. As much as I want to brush my mouth out again I figure three is enough.

I slip out of the bathroom. Beth has changed into a long sleeved shirt and dark jeans. She and Thorin lay curled up on the bed. Both look up when the bathroom door opens.

I glance around quickly. The others aren't inside but the blood has been cleaned. The carpet has dark spots though which I doubt will ever fade.

"They're just outside the door," Beth whispers softly. "They're arguing over how best to conserve our supplies into fewer vehicles."

I crawl onto the bed with them. Thorin immediately latches onto me. His eyes are red from crying and he buries his face in my neck. 

Beth meets my gaze, her eyes painfully apologetic. I squeeze her hand, reassuring her, "It was my choice. I just had to buy us some time, that's all. We'll be okay."

She blinks watery blue eyes at me but nods accepting. Then she asks hesitantly, "Can I... can I have a gun?"

I agree, promising her a gun and knife. I tell Thorin I'm going to give him a knife too for safety. He nods against my throat but doesnt say a word.

It was stupid of us not to keep more weapons out. Just like it was stupid of me to not turn and look the second the door was open. Not that a few seconds would've changed much but it could've. We'll be better prepared next time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, gonna answer a few questions,  
> The guys that attacked were the claimers that Daryl ran into after being seperated from Beth after the prison fell. They went around killing and raping, that one guy wanted to rape Carl, so they wouldn't hesitate at Harry or Beth.  
> The reason they attacked is the others needed to know Harry won't kill. Cannonically, Harry never fired a lethal spell. He's just not willing to take a life. As for why he allowed it, the same reason he allowed Umbridge to use a blood quill so often. He took pain to protect another. If the guy hadn't left Beth alone or if they had gone after Thorin he would've reacted like he did with Marge, an unconscious burst of power. But Harry doesn't defend himself, he defends others.
> 
> Merle and Daryl needed to know that Harry will take a beating before taking a life. They dont know what he's capable of, now they know that they will need to deal with the people.
> 
> Sirius was bored and wondered off. He figured that Harry could defend himself from whatever came because Harry takes down the walkers without problem. But he needed to see that Harry wont take a life. 
> 
> As for Sirius being a sociopath, that's a mix of the Black family insanity and the insanity of Azkaban mixed with all the bad that came after. He's not being perverse as much as he's being possessive. He still wants Harry all to himself because no one else in this world is his pack. And he's a bit more animal.
> 
> As for why Harry didn't suggest tracking charms, It wouldn't work anyways, remember Sophia. And Harry leaves a shrunken item with Thorin specifically so he can track him if he needs to. He never gave anything to anyone else because he didn't think he would need to track them. Sirius wouldn't suggest it because he doesn't care.


	33. Training

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks everyone for the comments💐💐💐❤❤ you guys are the best😊

Chapter 33: Training

Merle and Daryl insisted on training me and Beth to fight. We won't always have a weapon or the upper hand so we have to defend ourselves. Beth improves in leaps and bounds. Me, not so much.

I land hard, my entire left side feels bruised. Daryl sighs tiredly, "Come on, kid, you can do this."

I push myself back to my feet, rubbing the ache on my hip. But I get back into position. He lunges and I duck and strike. He grabs my wrist, pulling harshly. I kick at his knee, kicking outward. Another hit lands against my stomach. I double over, wheezing breaths tremble out.

He steps back, looking me over regretfully, "Stop holding back, kid. Others won't go easy on ya."

I nod, accepting the reprimand. But it doesn't help. I can't hit him hard. I don't really want to hurt him. And I can't seem to make myself not hold back.

"Let me try," Sirius offers.

He'd been watching us sparing all morning with an increasing frown. Daryl backs off, throwing another half frustrated half apologetic look my way. I know he doesn't want to hurt me. He's trying to teach me. I just can't make myself strike back.

"Talk to me, Pup, what's the problem?" Sirius asks calmly.

I try to shrug the question away but he doesn't let me. Instead he asks, "You've dueled before, right? They had you practice your spells?"

I nod so he asks, "And you cast spells in class, right?"

I frown, nodding along. Although I don't see what class has to do with this. Those were spells that could easily be shielded. And if something went wrong then the professor or madam Pomphrey could fix us up in a second.

"This is the classroom," Sirius says calmly. "These are the defenses you're learning. You have to practice."

"It's not the same," I defend frustratedly.

"What's different?" He asks.

I sigh, looking anywhere but at him. My gaze quickly finds Thorin sitting on the steps of the RV. He's half watching us and half coloring in a book with a fat purple crayon. He smiles when he sees me looking. I smile back, waving slightly.

Merle has Beth further away, on the other side of the van but still within sight. She doesn't hesitate to hit when he prompts her. His praise can be heard even by us.

She's not that good with a gun yet. Merle says she just needs some more practice to correct her aim. But he's been training her with a knife and she's gotten good really quick.

Sirius sighs softly, "I can't fix it if I don't know what the problem is, Puppy. So tell me what's wrong."

I huff, more frustrated with myself than them. But maybe Sirius will understand. He knows what we're capable of but also what we lost coming here. We can't just go down to the hospital wing for a potion cure anymore.

"At school," I hesitantly explain, "if we got hurt then Madam Pomphrey would fix us up right away. But now..."

He hums thoughtfully, asking, "Are you afraid of him hurting you or you hurting him?"

"I don't want to hurt him," I answer defensively, "he's my friend."

"Do you think he likes hurting you?"

I look away, mumbling a petulant, "No."

"Youre making him hurt you when you dont fight back," he tells me gently.

I shift uncomfortably. I don't want him to hurt me but I also don't want to hurt him. What if I hit him too hard and something breaks? We need him to keep us safe. If he gets hurt we'll be down a protector and it'll be all my fault.

"What are you so worried about?" Sirius asks somewhat incredulously. "You know that you're not actually strong enough to hurt him, don't you? He's strong enough to know how to take the hits. Bloody hell, he and Merle smack the shit out of each other all the time."

I frown over at Merle. Beth lands a hit against his cheek with the palm of her hand thrust upward. He laughs, rubbing his cheek and complimenting the hit. It was a good hit, she put her whole body in that hit. It won't bruise, she's not strong enough for that, but it could buy her time against another person.

Daryl watches me curiously from a folding chair next to Thorin. He still has a bit of the frustrated slash apologetic look in his eyes. But he's calm and relaxed, understanding that the issue is not with him or his teaching but with me.

Sirius moves suddenly, his palm slapping my cheek. I blink startled. Why did he slap me? He doesn't even look mad. He's frowning thoughtfully back.

"You need to block hits, Pup."

Oh, he wanted to spar. I must not have heard him. I shift my stance, getting ready like Daryl showed me. 

Sirius slaps forward and I throw my arm up to block. He punches and I dodge. He kicks and I sidestep his foot.

"You gotta fight back, Pup."

He punches and I dodge. He steps closer, punching again. I kick his thigh, above the knee. It doesn't make him drop but he does stumble. I tense up, waiting to see if he's hurt or not. 

He throws another punch. Then another. I block and dodge. I hesitate, fist raised. But this is what they want so I throw a punch. He catches my fist, shoving me back. 

I step up again. I try another punch. He grabs my fist, pulling my arm and swinging me around so my back is to his chest. Then he wraps his free arm over my chest, holding me in place. I struggle, still only able to throw weak hits.

He sighs frustrated. I know he wants me to hit harder I just can't make myself do it. I can't help not wanting to hurt them.

Sirius rubs his cheek against mine, rumbling something like a growl in his chest. I relax, knowing that when his dog instincts are awake it makes him behave a bit more animal. And he doesn't like me being distressed or fighting him. Padfoot can be rather alpha at times.

His tongue laps at my jaw. I wrinkle my nose, huffing a half hearted laugh and shifting uncomfortably. He does it again, the tongue long and rough like a dogs rather than a person's.

"That's gross, Padfoot," I say a half hearted scold.

He huffs a breath against my cheek, "My Pup."

I nod, unwilling to argue when there's that much growl in his voice. He's been like this more since those guys attacked us. It's like he gets stuck in an animal mentality or something. He'll even partially shift, usually his tongue and teeth, sometimes his ears or hands. 

I don't know if it's something that happens to animagi or if it's something he can do. Maybe it's because of this new world or maybe it's stress. I don't exactly have anyone to ask anymore. When I tried to ask him he just shrugged it off with a promise to never harm me.

Daryl walks over, eyeing Sirius worriedly. His tone holds more challenge than is safe, "I'll take it from here."

Sirius growls lowly, baring his teeth. I rub my cheek against his, knowing it'll calm him faster. He nuzzles my neck again, licking another long stripe up my neck this time. Them he nips my ear, probably just being playful.

Daryl watches him walk over to take the seat by Thorin. The others don't like Sirius's behavior, that's easy to see. But none of them will call him on it. They just frown and watch him, holding themselves tense as if he'll attack at any moment.

Daryl sighs, looking back at me with a questioning gaze. I shrug, unable to give an answer. Because truthfully I'm not sure why he does half of what he does. But he is my godfather, my family. I know he cares about me and I'm positive he won't hurt me.

Daryl moves into ready position. I mirror him, ready to spar again. He throws a punch and I dodge. He kicks and I sidestep. I throw a punch and he catches my wrist.

This time I kick his thigh, just above the knee. He grunts which startles me. But then he's smiling, "That's it, kid, do it again."

We move back into position and again he throws a punch. This time I strike back immediately, catching him on his side just under the arm. I still hesitate after, watchful in case he's hurt. But he laughs, pleased now.

We keep at it all afternoon. I take several more bruises but I'm also now landing hits. I keep hesitating after to be sure he's not hurt. Something they all keep reprimanding me for. But I'm getting better at striking so that's somethin at least.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to comment here too, 
> 
> Sirius has the Black family insanity on the level of Bella[noticeable when he was fighting her]. He hid at Azkaban in animal form so I figure there a big part that's more animal than man. And he never really grew up so he's still immature and reckless. Because of that he will cycle through these behaviors as needed.
> 
> He was never supposed to be creepy perverse on purpose, he was being more animal than person. In his mind, he was scenting, scent marking, and comforting Harry. When he's more animal in mind he will lick and touch and rub. Harry allows it because hes already realized that it's because of his other form and Azkaban.
> 
> Sirius never thought Harry was in danger. He doesn't realise thst Harry doesn't have his wand with him. [Sirius insisted Harry learn the shrinking, resizing, and sealing spells endlessly to save time and Harry didn't want to risk breaking his wand like Ron in second year because he won't be able to replace it].  
> In Sirius's mind, Harry should be fine no matter what because he has magic. He doesn't take into account thst Harry only went to school for five years and was only average most of the time. He also doesn't realize that Harry wont kill to defend himself.
> 
> Beth needed a wake up call to become strong. While with the group she was kept weak but alone she learned to hold herself up. She could've been a strong character like Maggie if they had given her the chance.
> 
> Harry needed to wake up to the fact that people are cruel. He needed a kick to get him willing to use possibly lethal force. Because even against voldemorte he only used the disarming spell. While he did try to cast the cruciatus it was after the pain/shock of losing Sirius and the spell never worked because he didn't mean it. While he did use sectumsempra on Draco, he didn't know what the spell would do when he cast it and regretted it as soon as he did.
> 
> Merle and Daryl have been trusting that Harry's magic is the golden ticket to their survival. And it is but they need to see that he's still vulnerable. They need to see that he's still human, not some superman.
> 
> They will meet back up with the others but I want Harry and Beth to get stronger first. I also needed them to realise some things about each other.


	34. High times

Chapter 34: high times

We've been on our own almost two months now. The weather has gotten colder which is nice at night because we all still sleep in the bed together. We don't move around as much either. Sometimes we'll stay several days in one area.

We still stay mostly on back roads where we can stay hidden by the woods. Daryl and Merle have gone hunting several times, both bringing back deer and wild turkeys to add to our food supply. It's put them both in a proud mood lately.

Today we agreed to hit another neighborhood. This is an older one, dark bricks and faded paint. The yards are overgrown, the few flower bed overrun with weeds. It probably didn't look much better before the world ended.

There's bicycles left abandoned and still bodies or blood smears everywhere. There's some kids toys left laying around, long since faded by the sun. And the cars and vans left behind are all older models.

We pick a cove to hit first. That way we can park the RV and van in the road and just clear the houses circling it. The first one is totally trashed although it's unclear if it occurred before or after the outbreak.

The second one has some food in the cabinets. Their fridge has mold growing out of it, the smell obvious. But their hallway closet has two jumbo packs of toilet tissue as well as several packs of feminine products. The bedrooms within belonged to teenage girls so we let Beth sort through it for anything she might want.

The next had one child, probably about ten years old. We found him turned in the closet. There wasn't much to be found in that house.

The next has the entire family in the master bedroom, each rotten with a gun shot in their forehead. Whoever did it left with the gun it seems. They also took anything of use from the house.

This neighborhood is looking like a bust. Still, we move down the road to the next cove. It looks slightly more promising. At least there isn't an abundance of bodies on the ground.

The first is frustratingly enough another bust. The second is dark, heavy blankets over the windows to block out the light. There's a huge video gaming system setup in the living room which looks out of place with the aged furniture. The kitchen looks like it hasn't been updated since the seventies but there's two jewelry boxes full of gold and silver in the bedroom.

"Lookey here!" Merle exclaims, holding up something cube shaped the size of a shoebox but wrapped in clear plastic. It looks at first like a present or something which is odd. But a closer look shows something green inside.

Sirius laughs, thrilled at the discovery. Merle tosses the thing to Daryl who grins back. Then Merle shuffles back in the closet and pulls out two more as well as a backpack. He empties the backpack on the bed, dozens of money bundles tumble out.

I poke one of the cubes curiously. Beth moves closer, peaking over my shoulder with Thorin held on her hip. She asks hesitantly, "Is that weed?"

Merle and Daryl both laugh. Sirius grins playfully, "Yep, and I say we light it up and have a little fun."

Merle is quick to add, "Hell yeah!"

But the house is a bit uncomfortable, especially with our supplies still outside. So we troop back out to the RV, the cubes and for some reason the backpack full of money and jewelry came with us. At least there aren't any people around here. There are a few walkers but so far they're still a few streets over.

Beth takes Thorin back to the bedroom. He doesn't fuss at being told to stay back there. As long as he can see us he doesn't mind being out of reach. At least as long as we're in the safety of our RV. Once outside of it he needs to be held or touching someone to feel safe.

Beth comes back out, settling in the seat beside me on the couch. Daryl takes the drivers seat while Sirius takes the passenger. Merle slides into the booth, emptying the backpack on the table next to the cubes.

It's interesting to watch. There's a box of little thin papers that he lays out. Then he cuts open one of the cubes, letting out a green almost mossy smell. The green leaves are dry and crackle as he crumbles them up on the paper. Then he rolls it long ways, licks the paper and presses it down, twisting the ends slightly.

Sirius laughs excitedly, moving to sit across from Merle and help him work. Together they get a dozen finished quickly. Daryl huffs an amused chuckle, snagging one while they work. He lights it, settling back in the drivers seat and blowing out a puff of white smoke.

Merle pops one in his mouth, lighting it and smoking as he works. Sirius does the same. They make several more although their movements slow as they work. 

Sirius moves to squeeze onto the couch beside Beth. She shifts closer to me, trying to make room for three on a couch made more for two. Sirius holds the stick out to her with a coy challenging grin.

She puts it in her mouth, breathing deep only to burst out coughing. That sets the guys off in riotous laughter. Sirius holds the cigarette out to me next.

I take it, looking it over a second before putting it to my lips. I suck slightly, wary to breath too deep. Thick smoke curls over my tongue, down my throat and into my chest. I blink surprised, breathing out a soft stream of smoke.

Merle shouts compliments, proud of me for some reason. I grin back uncertainly. I try to pass it back to Sirius but he waves me off, taking another from the table and lighting it.

"I want to try again," Beth says stubbornly.

Sirius grins, holding the new cigarette out to her. She takes it, breathing a lighter puff this time. I take a puff of mine, careful not to breath too deep. It's an odd sensation to be sure. Not bad, just odd.

Mine burns down to a nub quickly. Daryl is relaxed back in the chair, his eyes closed and his face peaceful. Merle sits back in the booth, his back to the wall and his legs outstretched, feet on the arm of the couch.

Merle lights another one, passing it back and forth with Daryl who never bothers to open his eyes. Sirius stays pressed against Beth's side, passing his to her. Each time she takes it he leans closer. 

Sometimes he sniffs her neck. Sometimes he nuzzles her cheek. Each time he does he sends a wink at me. I'm not too sure what that's about but at least he's in a good mood.

Merle moves to the end of the booth, holding the homemade cigarette out to me. It's another new one because Daryl still has the half one they've been sharing. I accept it with a smile, breathin deep now that I'm sure I won't choke.

My chest feels heavy but my head feels light. I'm also hungry, really hungry. But I'm tired too. This is an odd floaty feeling but it's nice.

I pass the cigarette back to Merle. He takes a big breath, leans close to Beth, and blows the smoke in her face. She giggles, turning her face to rub against my shoulder. Merle laughs so I laugh too. I'm not even sure why we're laughing.

Sirius pets Beth's arm, his other draped over her shoulder to play with my hair. I snort amused at his antics. Beth falls into a fit of giggles. I'm not sure if it's because of this weed we're smoking or if it's whatever Sirius keeps whispering in her ear.

Daryl stands up, swaying a moment only to shake it off with a short laugh. He wonders almost aimlessly over to the cupboard and pulls out a big bag of cheese puff chips. Merle calls excitedly for one so he throws the bag, laughing when it hits Merle in the face.

I take another hit of the cigarette, blowing thick white smoke at Merle when he leans over to take it. He bursts into laughter, throwing a puffy chip at me. Daryl shoves himself between us, clutching a bag of salt and vinegar chips.

Chips! I want chips! I wiggle free of the couch, laughing when Beth topples over behind me giggling. Sirius lands on her, laughing drunkenly.

I grab a bag of barbeque chips. But the marshmallow cereal looks good too. Only not together. So I toss the chips at the table and take out a box of cereal instead.

Merle is sprawled out in the passenger seat throwing chips at Daryl and laughing. Sirius is still half laying on Beth, pressing kisses to her cheek and neck. I wonder briefly if I should stop them but she's giggling so she must be fine.

Thorin whines that he's hungry too. I take him the box of cereal. I have to go back twice, once for a bowl and again for milk and a spoon. Then I head back to the front, sitting at the booth and eating chips off the table.

Daryl gets up again, holding a half cigarette out for me to take. I stumble up to stand next to him and he laughs, gripping my arm to steady me. I take a deep breath, blowing thick white smoke against his mouth. He laughs through the smoke, pushing me away playfully.

Beth drops loudly to the floor. Sirius laughs hysterically while she blinks around confused. I giggle, far too amused by them to be bothered.

Merle is the one to shoo us all to bed. It doesn't seem like it should be late but for some reason it is. I thought we still had hours until sundown but it's getting dark outside.

Daryl pushes and shoves me towards the back bedroom. Merle and Sirius drag Beth up, both laughing as she stumbles. Of course they're stumbling too.

Thorin is asleep already, toys all around him. I knock the toys down, ignoring where they fall. Then I crawl up to snuggle around him. 

Daryl climbs up near the window opposite from me and waves the others to pass Beth to him. She climbs up clumsily but let's Daryl move her to curl towards me. Then he rolls over so his back is against hers.

Merle snorts amused. Sirius crawls up next to me, wrapping tightly around me with his arms and legs. Merle climbs up behind him, sleeping back to back.

I yawn sleepily, blinking at Beth who's already asleep and Daryl who's softly snoring. Sirius keeps nuzzling my neck and shoulder, probably why I can't sleep yet. And Merle is snoring away on his other side.

Someone should be on watch. We shouldn't all sleep. I yawn again. Surely no one will bother us. I snuggle closer to Beth and Thorin. Sirius cuddles closer to me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For this chapter keep in mind that Sirius is unstable, Harry is naive, Beth is still mostly innocent, and the Dixons have always been on the wrong side of the law. This is about them toeing boundaries and discovering themselves. Like when Beth and Daryl drank the moonshine and burnt down that shack.  
> Hope y'all enjoy😊


	35. Pop goes the thief

Chapter 35:pop goes the thief

I wake to a sound, metal on metal. I blink around but can't see anything to account for the noise. It's late at night, too dark to really see much. I don't think we've been asleep all that long.

Daryl and Merle are both snoring comfortably. Sirius still has an octopus hold on me. Thorin is tucked against my chest and Beth is curled over his back, her breath puffing against my face.

I know I heard something. I strain to listen but it's quiet beyond them. I almost give it up as imagination, almost. But then I hear the shuttering sound of metal sliding over metal. The van!

I shove my way up, knocking Sirius into Merle and almost tossing Thorin onto Beth. I slip, falling on the end of the bed and scrambling out. I grab my gun off the kitchen counter where I stupidly left it and leap out of the unlocked RV door.

How could we be so stupid?! We know better! Didn't I just think someone should be on watch? But oh, no, our lazy selves had to fall asleep.

My bare feet slap loudly on the road and I'm positive they hear me coming. I almost don't see them because it is dark. But four people stand clearly visible at the back of our van.

"Stop!" I shout shrilly. I raise my gun, careful to keep all four figures in sight. I couldn't describe them if I had to, it's just too dark. But I can see them enough to aim. I can see them enough to know they don't have guns out.

"Easy there," one big guy says as he raises his hands, moving towards me. The others don't even slow down. So I fire a warning shot into the wall of the van.

Two of them curse, diving back out of the van. The fourth dove further inside. The first guy stops moving but he's already too close.

"What's that, a bb gun?" The first guy asks amused.

"No, asshole, it's got a silencer so I don't attract the walkers now get away from my van!" 

He hums, "Silencer, huh?"

The guy in the van calls out softly, "Matt, it's a real fucking gun, man."

The first guy, Matt, just hums thoughtfully. But somehow I lost sight of the two that dove out. I try to look for them only to be sent reeling from a punch to the side of my head.

I stumble, trying to bring up my gun but the guy already has a hold on my wrist. I kick at his knee, stomping down like Daryl showed me. The guy shouts, releasing my wrist and falling. The knee isn't dislocated but it's bruised. I raise my gun again, aiming at him as I move to put distance between us.

Something metal clicks behind me and I freeze. That's the sound of a gun hammer being pulled back. Something hard presses against my shoulder, no doubt it's the gun. 

Then everything happens too fast to follow. A black blur of fur and sharp teeth take the guy behind me. His gun fires, missing me by inches. A guy screams.

The big guy, Matt, leaps at me, knocking us both down. We struggle for my gun. I can't get the leverage or strength to keep him from taking it.

The twang of a crossbow is heard. The guy at the back of the van falls, screaming and clutching his shoulder. Matt finally yanks the gun from my hand.

Another gun sounds but I can't tell who shot it or who got hit. Matt leans up, aiming the gun further away. I turn my head, spotting a black mass snarling in the dark as it rips a man open. Red sprays up all around it.

Time seems to slow. I hear the twang of the crossbow again and the guy from the back of the van falls quiet. I hear the blood rushing through my ears, separating me from all other sounds. And I see Matt squeezing the trigger.

If asked later, I couldn't explain it. All I know is I couldn't let Sirius die. But I really don't know how to explain what happened.

It was a pressure in my chest. A sudden snap of tension like a burst balloon. Only what burst was a person.

I try to blink past the red. Merle and Daryl are both cursing loudly. The weight is gone but on me and all around me is nothing but liquid red.

I rub at my eyes with dripping wet hands that do no good. The strong scent of copper, like rusting wet pennies, choke my throat. My clothes are soaked through and the ground around me is slick and slippery.

Somehow, and don't ask me how because I've no clue, but somehow he exploded. The reality hits me with something like hysteria. I start to sob, choking on the smell and the feel of the hot blood all over me.

Padfoot hurries over, lapping away at my face. I lean away, still unable to see from all the slick red on my eyes and glasses. Padfoot shuffles forward, heedless of all the blood and meat around us. He keeps licking and niffing at my face. Honestly, the only reason I let him is because it's actually cleaning the blood off of me.

I cry and sob and choke on the smell and the feel of the blood becoming sticky and clumpy, like slimy snot clots only bigger. Padfoot continues to lick my face, cleaninng the blood away. I really shouldnt let him. Doesnt blood carry diseases?

A rush of cold water falls over my head. Padfoot jumps back, snapping teeth. Merle curses him to get out of the way and help cleanup.

I sputter out as another bucket of water is thrown over my head. A rough hand ruffles my hair, scrubbing painfully. More cursing definitely coming from Merle.

His hand closes over my arm, pulling me up. I slip and slide over the slick ground. But the water helped clear some of it so I'm somewhat able to get my footing again. At least until I slip over something pink and squishy and slippery.

Merle pulls me out of the mess and over to the open door of the RV. Light pours out blindingly, I struggle to blink the world into focus. Merle pulls my glasses off, wiping them on his shirt before shoving them back on the end of my nose. Beth stands just inside the door looking out, a frightened Thorin clinging to her neck.

"Strip," Merle orders with a shake. Daryl set down two sloshing buckets, taking the other two from near the mess and running back into a backyard of a house we didn't check. There must be a pool back there.

I have to take my glasses off first. Merle takes them, passing them to Beth and helping me tug my shirt off. I trip struggling out of my pants and underwear. In my defense, wet jeans really cling to you.

Merle dumps a bucket over my head. I shudder, accepting the rag Beth passes to me. Thorin stands in the doorway, I can only tell by the size of his shadow. Beth hands Merle a rag and the two of them start scrubbing at me. Another set of hands join in.

Another bucket is dumped over my head. I look up this time so the water will wash my face. And there's soap on the washcloths so I scrub at my skin, paying little attention to the others doing the same.

I do jump when a rag scrubs harshly at my butt because I certainly didn't expect that. I also jump when a softer hand rubs at my thigh. I can't help but offer embarrassed apologizes to everyone as they help me get clean.

Another bucket is dumped over my head. I snort out the water that I accidentally breathed in. Then I jump as hands hurry me into the RV. Beth scrables up first, snatching Thorin up. Merle shoves me onto the couch, diving for the drivers seat.

Beth hands me my glasses so I put them back on. The headlights come on to illuminate a red soaked street and a few dozen walkers moving closer. Merle cranks the engine, slamming into drive and bouncing us all as at least two walkers fall under the wheels.

I don't see Sirius or Daryl but they most likely went for the other vehicles. Daryl would go for the van and Sirius would go for the truck. I can barely see both headlights bouncing around behind us as we swerve around walkers and tires screech over pavement.

Beth chuckles nervously, "How are you still bloody?"

I glance up to see her staring back at me. Then I follow her gaze down to my chest and arms that still have red smears. I shrug helplessly. 

She snorts, more amused than disturbed. Thorin climbs into the passenger seat next to Merle while Beth drags me back to the shower stall. I try to argue that we shouldn't use the water but she threatens to shove me into the nearest lake instead.

It's a hassle to move all of the supplies from the shower stall, especially with the RV swerving around. We end up piling them on the bed. And let me tell you, carrying heavy stacks of cans while naked is a terrible idea.

I gather up a change of clothes. Beth passes me bottles of melon scented shampoo and body wash. The RV still bumps along roughly which makes showering all kinds of awkward. And the water pressure is almost non-existent. But at least I'm able to get clean.

We drive for about an hour before we stop. By that point I'm dressed and sitting calmly with Beth and Thorin at the kitchen bench. She keeps chuckling, shaking her head. Thorin stays snuggled against my side, refusing to be seperated now that I'm clean.

Merle stops the RV, cutting the engine and killing the lights. It still ticks for a moment as the engine settles down. The door opens and Daryl and Sirius climb in, both looking us over quickly.

"So," Merle asks casually, "Did you know you could pop a man like a water balloon or was that a surprise for you as well?"


	36. Wild nights and quiet days

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Semi inappropriate activity in this chapter. Nothing super bad though.

Chapter 36: wild nights and quiet days

We've been traveling nearly three whole months already. After that last messy run in with survivors we decided to be more careful. We still hit a few neighborhoods but we always stick to the back houses. At night we tend to park down small back roads where we won't be seen.

Days are spent scavenging or sometimes just relaxing. We found a portable DVD player and several kids movies in a house overrun with toys. I claimed nearly all of it for Thorin, shrinking bag after bag as well as the play house, play kitchen, and drivable kids jeep.

We took sidewalk chalk to the road one day. Each of us drawing and coloring whatever we felt like. Daryls winged angel was by far the best of all the drawings.

Another day we rode bicycles back and forth through a small group of trees with pool noodles hanging from the branches. We joked that it was training to help us stay aware but really it was to keep Thorin amused.

Merle found several paintball guns as well as the little ball pellets for them. So we spent a couple days playing hide and hit in the woods. Some times we would team up but often it was every person for themselves. It was a lot of fun although I didn't know the damn things would leave welts. 

We spent an unusually warm day swimming in someone's pool that was still relatively clean. They even had a little vest and arm floaties for Thorin to wear. And there was beer and wine in a little mini fridge. 

We swam naked, mostly because no one cares. And I admit I stared at Beth more than I should've. It's just, she's the first naked girl I've seen. The others looked as well only they were more subtle about it. Except for Sirius, he catcalled like crazy the whole time we were swimming.

Beth seems to be taking it all well. Or maybe not, who knows. I do worry that she's going to regret some of what we get up to but so far she seems happy.

We found some marijuana plants growing in a shed behind one house. Merle insisted we take them so they got loaded in the van. We've smoked a few times since that first but we're always careful to leave someone on watch.

The third time we smoked blunts, apparently thats what they're called, we got a little wild. Beth got up in the booth, dancing to music Merle put on a battery powered radio he found. We all were throwing crumpled money at her for some reason while she pulled off her sweater and kept teasingly lifting her shirt to flash her bra.

The fifth time even more so as she kissed me. I think it might've been a dare. I do know Sirius started it somehow. But for some reason she pressed her lips to mine. It wasn't that good of a kiss because we were both laughing far too hard at the time.

Her kissing me broke some kind of tableau that we held without even knowing it. Daryl kissed Beth, bending her back against the table as he devoured her mouth. Then he turned on me, laughing and pressing sloppy kisses to my mouth and cheek.

Merle even pressed a small kiss to Beth, careful not to overwhelm her. She gave him another on the cheek and declared his kiss the sweetest. That somehow got me shoved at him and although it was easy to tell he wasn't attracted to me, he did press a soft kiss to my lips, barely a peck. But I agreed with Beth that his were the sweetest.

On the sixth night of us smoking, Merle took watch as Sirius had it the last time. They usually just stay in the drivers seat but this time he stayed in the truck. He couldn't leave the challenge of sweetest kiss alone and insisted on having a turn. Daryl snorted amused but Beth just laughed and leaned forward for a kiss.

Of course it wasn't the sweet kiss he gave. He pulled her down on top of him and kissed her as if he could devour her from the mouth down. Daryl seemed to find some challenge in that because he pulled her up and kissed her again. Then they traded turns, each asking who was better.

It was interesting to watch. Even with my brain floaty I knew this isn't something we should be doing. But Beth is still giggling and laughing and enjoying herself so who am I to argue. 

Although I do slap Sirius hands away when he tries to slip her pants off. No way is that happening while she's not sober. Because I'm pretty sure whatever we're smoking is making us drunk or certainly something like it.

Sirius just laughs, teasing that I just want a turn. I tug Beth over to the booth while laughing back that we're all too drunk for this. That settles Daryl down but Sirius just gets restless.

We usually wait for Thorin to fall asleep before we smoke. We even put up a curtain to block the light and sounds from carrying back to him. Which is a really good thing because for some reason Sirius strips naked and starts touching himself while laying on the couch.

Daryl laughs, throwing puffy chips at him. Beth blushes, somehow now a bit more alert and on the edge of embarrassed. I don't particularly care since I shared a dorm with five guys. This isn't exactly new to me. I do throw a dish towel at him so he can clean up whatever mess he makes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gonna add a note so y'all don't panic, this ain't a pairing or an orgy thing.
> 
> They're high and stupid and doing stupid stuff. Being high lowers inhibitions so the kisses with Harry are more them being silly.
> 
> Harry and Beth are both young and sheltered from relationships in different ways. Harry because someone was always trying to kill him and it was only recently for him that he kissed Cho and described it as wet. I figure he's Bi, or maybe Demi, even if he doesn't realize it because in the books he describes more guys as handsome than girls as pretty. So I don't think he would care either way about who kisses him as long as it's someone he likes and trusts. And again, this was them high and silly. 
> 
> Beth wants to go a bit wild so they're helping her do so safely. In the show she drank moonshine and burnt down a house after being away from her family only a couple days. Here she's been away for three months, doesn't know if she'll ever see them again, so she's acting out. She wants to try drugs and be seen as grown and sexy and be kissed so they're supporting her in their own convoluted way.
> 
> Daryl won't do more than kiss her because she's young. Sirius would've done more but Harry told him to stop so he did.
> 
> Merle knows their both young so the kiss from him was more a joke than anything. And the kiss from Daryl to Harry was again more joke than serious. Beth especially is testing boundaries and the others are trying to keep her safe while she does. But they aren't trying to take advantage of her.
> 
> As for Sirius at the end, yeah well there's no privacy in the apocalypse. What options does he have? Thorins on the bed they sleep on and hidden from view. Merles in the truck so all that's left would be the van which wouldn't be comfortable. He figured it doesn't matter if anyone sees because they'll know what he's doing regardless and they've already swam naked and sleep in the same bed so why not find pleasure when the others are near.
> 
> This chapter is meant to convey how they grow closer together, how normal taboos and boundaries become meaningless in the new world. I also wanted to show Beth taking control of her own actions, her own body. Because I'm not goimg to have her fall back to the weak shadow her family kept her as to keep her safe. I want her to survive. She and Harry will both become ruthless, an amazing team, and this is how it begins.
> 
> Hope y'all enjoy😊


	37. Chinaman

Chapter 37: Chinaman 

It was coincidence really. We were scavenging again at the back of an older neighborhood. They didn't have much in the way of canned food but several had gardens in their backyards. 

Most of the gardens were hit with the cold, the vegetables lay rotten on the floor. But those same houses tend to have canning supplies as well as several already canned foods. One yard even had four peach trees that while bare, there was plenty of canned peaches and peach jams inside.

Two houses, a street apart, had actual greenhouses in their backyard. The first was a trampled mess, reeking of rotten meat. We took the shovel and tools but left the garden alone.

The second one was nearly perfect. It had tomatoes and cucumbers, squash and zucchini, even a strawberry bush growing healthy. We gathered it all, eating our fill as we worked. And the shed beside it had a whole host of gardening supplies. Beth insisted we take the lot, especially the seeds.

That house also had an ungodly amount of canned foods in the basement. They even had something Beth called a dehydrator and bags upon bags of dehydrated food, mostly vegetables and fruits. We packed it all up, shrinking it away and loading it in the van.

One house we wondered through was still nice and tidy. If not for the dust I would think the people would be home soon. There wasn't much food but there were two plastic bins in the master bedroom closet.

Curiosity got the best of us and we opened them. Beth shouted in alarm, her cheeks burning red. Merle laughed, pulling out something long and plastic and tossing it at her. She shrieked, calling him a pervert and leaving the room, dragging Thorin behind her.

I hesitantly ask, "What are they?"

He snorts a laugh, "Rubber cocks people use to masturbate with."

I lift up one as long as my arm with an oddly shaped end. I can't help but ask incredulously, "You honestly mean someone puts this inside themselves?"

He chokes on a laugh, "Damn, that's a horse dick." 

"A what?"

He laughs, dumping the bin out on the bed. There's some kind of leather dog mask, a thick studded paddle, and lots of leather strips with buckles. There's movies in the bin with the long one. Merle sorts through them, snorting loudly in amusement.

He waves a disk at me taunting, "Don't ask unless you really want to know."

I open my mouth to ask but he's right, I don't want to know. So I shake my head and leave the pile of wierd on the bed. Merle is right, there are some things I just don't want to know. He grins, far too amused at embarrassing me.

Slipping back outside I can easily see Beth encouraging Thorin to ride his tricycle in circles around her. She claps and praises him while Daryl watches from the top of the RV. Sirius prowls around in Padfoot form. For some reason hes been slipping forms all day. We give him space.

We head off further into the neighborhood. There's a few nice houses that still have some canned food in the cabinets. One must've belonged to a couponer because there was several shelves of non-food items all in the garage. We bagged and shrunk them all.

The next house, we found a trampoline which Thorin and Beth just had to try out. So Daryl climbed from the roof of the van up onto the top of the house and settled at the chimney to keep watch.

I set about shrinking the toys. They had a big plastic swing set as well as a large brightly colored plastic pirates ship toy. Both were climbing structures for toddlers up to probably five or six year olds. Thorin loved it.

Everything was good until Daryl whistled. Then I rushed to grab Thorin as Beth clamored down. We all three rushed for the RV.

Daryl may have seen the movement but Merle spotted the familiar face. Before we even made it into the RV Merle was shouting, "Hey there, Chinaman!, where the Hell you been?"

Glenn stumbles out from behind a car, staring back wide eyed. Merle laughs, waving as if Glenn might not see him standing at the front of the RV. Glenn looks back startled at someone behind the car still hiding.

We can't hear what's said but the incredulous tone is obvious. Then a head of short brown hair pops up and Beth runs forward, shouting her sisters name. Maggie nearly bowls Glenn over to reach Beth.

Merle laughs, commenting idly, "Well, it was nice while it lasted."

I glance over confused for a moment. But then I realise what he means. Once we regroup, Beth will go back to her family. It won't be the same without her. But maybe she'll still spend time with us. Maybe.


	38. Disobedience

Chapter 38: Disobedience 

According to Glenn, the rest of the group is at a house in the next subdivision over. The houses there have already been emptied, a few by us, so Merle tells them to bring the others here. He even tosses the keys of the truck to them so they can drive back since they've been on foot for well over a month.

Maggie pulls Beth along but she freezes, eyes going wide. Her gaze snaps painfully between us and Maggie, clearly at war with herself. Which eases some of the tension in my chest. I'm not sure what I would've felt if she had just walked away without a backwards glance.

Maggie tries to tug her along, even tries to order her. But Beth digs in her heels and refuses to move. She refuses to leave our group even if only for a short time. Something her sister can't seem to comprehend.

She reassures Maggie, "I have to watch Thorin while they search out supplies."

Maggie tries to argue, tries to order again. But Beth stands firm, "Look, you're coming right back, right? So it'll be alright for me to wait here. There's no sense in me taking up a seat that someone else could need."

Maggie frowns, angrily declaring that she won't leave Beth alone. She even shoots an accusing glare at a smugly smirking Merle. But she's firm on not leaving Beth alone now that they've been reunited so Glenn leaves in the truck alone to retrieve the others.

Sirius walks over to me calmly, looking more amused than anything. At least he looks human now and doesn't have any partially shifted body parts. He throws an arm over my shoulder, leaning his face down to blow a raspberry on Thorins cheek to make him squeal and giggle.

"We need to rearrange some things," Sirius says meaningfully. 

I blink dumbly for a moment before I realize what he means. The van is full of bags of shrunken supplies. We need to keep Maggie distracted while we rearrange them so the others won't notice. We'll probably need to resize some stuff too.

I set Thorin down, whispering to him, "Stay next to Beth, okay?"

He nods so I call to Beth as he runs over, "You two wanna keep him guarded in the backyard while we finish searching the house?"

Beth agrees quickly, already catching on to the problem. Maggie only agrees so she can be alone with Beth. She's been throwing suspicious and accusing looks at all of us since she showed up.

We head over to the van, waiting until they're in the backyard before we open the back. Then we each have to wade through a knee high pile of bags and packs. Merle suggests we pile them outside and pick some to resize while he hides the others in the RV. We try that.

Most of the bags contain food so I set five aside that are strictly dry or canned foods. Sirius passes me one that's full of garbage bags of clothes that we've been gathering. Another has toiletries and more importantly, feminine products so it will be kept out. The rest we agree to quickly hide.

Which is easier said than done. An item can only be shrunken so much. If you try to shrink an already shrunken item it will explode. So we can't hide them that way.

Merle suggests we stuff several under the bed. Apparently there's a hidden compartment under it that none of us ever bothered with. So Sirius and Merle hurry to carry as many bags inside the RV as quivkly as they can. The rest he says we can load on top of the RV and throw a black tarp over it. Hopefully they won't notice.

I glance up at Daryl on the roof still, careful to watch both the backyard as well as the road. So far we're still good so I set about resizing the bags within the bags. It leaves a huge pile in the driveway, just from the first bag.

Merle and Sirius hurry out to grab more bags. Merle stops in shock, blinking incredulously at the pile of resized bags that I'm hurriedly adding to. Then he looks around at the other bags still full of shrunken items with an oddly uncomprehending look on his face.

Sirius hits him with a bag, startling him into motion. He hurries to gather as many as he can, throwing over his shoukder as quietly as he can, "Don't forget to resize the bikes for us, kid."

I call back a quiet, "Will do."

Daryl whistles a warning. He can see them but they're not close, the whistle note was too short and not shrill enough to be a threat. So Glenn must've turned down a street he can see.

We don't have time for more so I snatch up my wand from where I've kept it hidden in a knife sheath on my ankle. Sirius insisted I keep it on me if it's ever needed and he modified the knife sheath to hold both a knife and my wand. It makes quick work of floating the mass of resized bags back into the back of the van.

Sirius jumps from the RV, pulling out his own wand. A quick spell has the some still shrunken bags flying swiftly into the RV. Merle curses within, no doubt having to dodge the bags coming. Then he switches it to lifting the rest, a huge pile, up onto the RV roof. Another spell has a black tarp appear, fluttering over the load and transforming into a hard plastic like top that clicks into place over the lot.

Daryl whistles another longer note. That means Glenn is close and we don't have much time. I grab the few remaining bags that Sirius's spell didn't pick up and throw them as far into the van as I can. Then I hurry to the front of the van because we've kept the shrunken motorcycles, bicycles, and a few cars and tankers, in the glove box.

I hurry to resize the motorcycles in the driveway as Daryl gives a shrill whistle. There isn't time for more magic but at least we got everything out of sight. Hopefully they won't look too closely at what we have in case I need to change anything around. I do manage to get the van door closed with a loud metal scratching sound.

The truck pulls into the driveway, nearly hitting the parked bikes. Of course Merle steps out of the RV to taunt Glenn about how Asians can't drive. Rick climbs out of the passenger side to glare warningly at him.

Hershel climbs out from the backseat of the truck, Carl rushing out behind him. T dog and Carol climb down from the back while Lori comes around from behind Glenn. It doesn't look like any of the others survived.

I look them over quickly, noting that they're thinner than I remember. And Lori's belly has swollen outward enough to be noticeable. But at least they're alive and back with us.

Beth comes stomping from the backyard with Thorin in her arms, scowling angrily over her shoulder at her sister. She walks straight for me and I open my arms, expecting her to pass Thorin to me so she can greet her family. Only instead she moves forward, pressing the both of them in my arms and kissing me soundly.

"Bethie?" Hershel calls confused but she ignores his voice.

I don't hesitate. I wrap my arms around her, holding her close. And I try to kiss her back the same way she's kissing me. It probably helps that we have kissed a few times even if it never meant anything. Because this doesn't mean anything either. 

But she's proving some kind of point to her family so I go along with it. She pulls back with a grin, obviously pleased with whatever point she wanted to make. I smile back, not fully knowing what she's telling them but willing to back her however she needs.

"Told you we'd find them again," she crows breathlessly against my lips. 

I laugh, truly delighted thats she's happy. Thorin reaches for me so it's an easy thing to slide him into my arms. Then she turns with a smile, still keeping contact with me as she beams happily at her father who looks back rather flummoxed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys are awesome so I didn't want to make you wait to know what Beth would do💐💐💐
> 
> If she had seen her father first then she might've gone along like an obedient daughter. But instead she saw Maggie who's talking down to her like she's a stupid little girl. Maggie who also doesn't trust the Dixons and keep insinuating that they've been abusing her while she's been alone with them. Which pisses Beth off because this is her family now and she knows the Dixons would never hurt her, especially like that.
> 
> She's not dumb. She knows that if she follows along then she'll keep being treated this way. So she's decided to throw down the gauntlet as it were. Kissing Harry will give her an excuse to stay with the pack and remain the independent person they helped her become. Which is what she wants, to be seen as strong and mature and a valuable member of the group, not a liability. It will also give her the chance to give her father and sister a few grey hairs.
> 
> Hope y'all enjoy💐💐💐


	39. Reunions are bittersweet

Chapter 39: reunions are bittersweet

Beth finally releases me to go hug her father. He hesitates, still looking her over concerned and confused by her behavior. But he hugs her gratefully all the same.

Lori edges closer to the RV, trying to look inside. Merle settles down on the steps, lighting a cigarette and puffing out smoke. It's enough to ward her off for now. Even if it does get several disappointed frowns from the group.

Rick tries to move forward, as if he'll enter the RV. But Sirius moves to block him, flashing teeth that are just a touch too sharp. Glenn blinks worriedly, looking from one to the other as they stare each other down.

Beth steps over, casually dismissing them and pushing past an amused Merle to climb up into the RV. She calls back pleasantly, as if she doesn't notice the growing tension, "I imagine you all are hungry now. You certainly haven't been eating well, have you."

Rick flinches at the comment, glancing back guiltily at the others. Beth keeps talking, "We've been doing quite well with Merle directing us. He and Daryl have caught several deer and even a turkey so we've not gone hungry. We even found a greenhouse full of vegetables as well as a chicken coop. Isn't that amazing?"

Carol smiles indulgently, throwing pleased looks at a smug Merle. The others shift uncomfortably. Obviously they haven't been doing so well.

Beth leans her head out the door calling, "Harry, love, get me two cans each of green beans, carrots, and a box of potatoes. Oh, and bring me the box of cheddar biscuit mix and the box of breading so I can make fried chicken."

Then she turns to look innocently at the others, calling, "How's that sound to yall?"

Rick looks rather like he's sucking a lemon which seems to amuse the hell out of Merle and Sirius. T dog and Carol both look stunned, especially when I open the back of the van. Even Hershel and Glen let out exclamations upon seeing all the bags piled in the back.

I stand Thorin in the van and have him pull one of the sports bags to me. Opening it reveals cans stuffed in until they're bulging against the seems. I grab out two green beans, tossing them playfully to T dog who only barely catches them. 

Carol laughs in delight, bumping shoulders with T dog and hurrying forward to take the two cans of carrots I've pulled out. She pass them to T and waves him off to the RV. I glance around at the others, worrying if only two will be enough. So I grab out two more of each, passing them to Carol and shooing her to take them over.

Carl walks over almost dazed. Lori follows her son, frowning at the supplies clearly visible. There's something accusing in her eyes but she struggles to bite her tongue. I ignore her, passing a full box of potatoes to Carl while asking him to take them over. Carol returns to take the boxes of biscuit mix and breading that Thorin helped me find.

Then I pull Thorin back out and close up the van. If anything that makes Lori's face twist in clear displeasure. It reminds me too much of Aunt Petunia to be comfortable near her so I carry Thorin back to the RV.

Sirius leans against the side, clearly relaxed. His tone holds more mocking than would be appropriate as he lazily tells them, "We had to get the van because we just had too much supplies. A few places didn't have much to be found but thankfully between Merle, Daryl, and myself, we've been able to keep our group well fed. So it's no problem at all to share a meal with you. We're not cruel enough to let you starve, after all."

Hershel offers a polite thanks as he moves closer to the RV, clearly trying to keep his eyes on his daughter. Merle grins at Rick smugly, "Yeah, when you got folk dependent on ya you gotta keep em fed an safe. Ain't that right, Ranger Rick?"

Rick looks away, the reprimand clear for everyone to hear. Lori shudders, pulling her son closer. And I realize that they're all still in the same clothes they were wearing the night at the farm. Rick hasn't even ensured that they have adequite clothes.

I pass Thorin to Merle who hurries to put out his cigarette as he takes him. Then I turn, honestly concerned as I ask, "Do y'all need clothes? Sweaters? Jackets?"

Lori tenses up, clearly offended. So I hurry to add, "It's just that we collected clothes too, for us and extra in case we ever found you all again. We even have supplies for the baby. Beth wanted to be prepared and insisted we gather for the baby so we're not scrambling at the last minute."

Rick rocks back, pale and slightly haunted. Carl grins, darting forward with an excited request to see the baby supplies. So I lead him back to the van. Although, I'm not sure where those supplies are and I admit as much to him.

He climbs up with me, even Carol comes over to help. And between the three of us we get a good winter outfit for each of them. I even pass over a small sports bag of toiletries for them to use.

Sirius calls out indifferently, "There's still some water in the pipes of these two houses. You'll probably have to share the bathwater but at least you'll get to be clean."

Glenn blushes brightly, accepting the bundle Carol passes him with a thanks that he repeats to me, Merle, and Sirius. T dog gathers his bundle and the sports bag, nodding his thanks and waving Carl to follow. They take the house next door with Rick and Hershel hesitantly following with their own change of clothes.

Carol takes another bag of toiletries, this one a bright pink backpack, along with her change of clothes. Maggie accepts hers and Lori's, guiding Lori into the house we're at. It's clear that Lori isn't happy but thankfully she lets Maggie lead her away.

Merle burst out laughing, far too amused to remain quiet any longer. He peaks over his shoulder, asking tauntingly, "So does this mean you're staying in our bed?"

Beth chuckles out a proud yes. I grin at Merle when he looks over. I'm glad she's staying with us, she's choosing us. Because she's our family, our pack, and we don't want to lose her.


	40. Suppertime

Chapter 40: suppertime

Dinner was awkward at best. Merle and Sirius seemed determined to block the others from the RV. So we all ate in the driveway of the house.

Conversations came and went. We told them of where all we've traveled, stressing that we went to the gated community that we discussed with both Glenn and T dog. Both look away frowning while Rick pales again. Hershel blows out a breath, asking why we didn't stay there. We tell the truth, there wasn't a reason to stay.

They tell us about their travels. How they drove aimlessly until the cars were out of gas and they've been walking ever since. It's mostly Glenn and Carol talking. Lori's face twists unhappily when he mentions how Rick decided the gated community was simply too far away to risk it.

It's clear that Rick and Lori have been the ones in charge of their group. It's also clear that the others aren't happy about how things were running but they didn't have another option. Although for some reason Rick rarely looks at his wife directly and the only time he has it was to turn away swiftly, glaring angrily everywhere else.

Rick mentions wanting to get on the road again soon. Merle scoffs, saying we still have houses here we haven't cleared yet. When Rick argues that there are walkers just a couple streets over, Sirius snorts amused, replying that there's walkers everywhere.

Rick accusing him of putting everyone in danger for a few cans of food. Sirius leans forward, grinning cruelly, "We haven't even had any close calls with walkers. We made damn sure everyone has a weapon and can use it. Even the boy has a knife."

Thorin swiftly pulls the small mostly blunt knife from where its clipped to his belt, smiling proudly. Beth speaks up before they can start fussing, "Of course hes always with me or Harry so he won't have to use it."

Merle calls out from the roof of the van where he's taken watch so that Daryl can eat, "He knows how to use it, don't ya boy?"

Thorin shouts back, "Stab em in the eye!"

Merle laughs a praise. Sirius reaches over to ruffle his hair proudly. I pat his back as Beth presses a proud kiss to his cheek.

When it starts to get dark Rick proclaims, "We'll all sleep in the house tonight."

Sirius shrugs unconcerned, "Fine by us, we've already cleared it so it's safe."

Beth tugs Thorins arm, leading him into the RV. Maggie shouts her name in alarm, making us all draw weapons. Although our weapons are guns while theirs are knives and crowbar. I blink incredulous, wondering why they don't have guns.

Maggie is already up, trying to pull Beth down from the RV. Beth is snapping back angrily that she's not giving up her bed. Maggie tries to follow her and Sirius jumps up, grabbing Maggie around the waist and pulling her away.

Hershel steps forward, calming Maggie and trying to call Beth. But Beth just answers calmly, "I'm staying in Our bed with My family just like I've been doing for Three months. I'll be perfectly safe. And I doubt Thorin will sleep without me to sing to him."

Hershel settles some, giving a nervous smile, "You and little Thorin share the bed?"

Beth smiles back, "Actually we all share the bed."

Hershel pales, Maggie's face turns red in anger, and everyone else freezes. Beth continues sweet as you please, "Thorin stays in the middle where it's safest. Harry and I sleep on either side of him. Daryl sleeps at my back and Merle or Sirius sleeps back to back with Harry. It really depends on who's on watch."

Daryl frowns back, unhappy with being thrown to the wolves as it were. Merle and Sirius both burst into laughter and I shrug helplessly when Hershel looks at me. It's the truth, which Thorin is happy to say aloud. 

Beth continues on unconcerned. Hershel drags Maggie away, neither one pleased. And everyone else troops off to bed. It's Sirius turn on watch so he relieves Merle who presses a proud kiss to Beth's cheek before crawling into bed. 

Daryl pokes her playfully in the side, complaining about her setting her dad on him. But we're all smiling and happy as we settle down to sleep. Because our little pack, our little family, is still whole.


	41. Scavenging together

Chapter 41: scavenging together

We split into scavenging groups as soon as breakfast was eaten. Glenn and Maggie came with Beth, Thorin, and I as we headed two streets over on the left. Rick, Carol, and T dog went to the right with Daryl and Sirius. Merle took watch on the rooftop where we stayed the night.

It wasn't a friendly agreement. Rick continued to try to issue orders. Sirius and Merle continued to talk over him. Hershel tried to cling to Beth and while she didnt fully shrug him off, she did make it clear that she stays with us.

Daryl suggested we go left because several houses in that direction have kids toys in the yards and minivans abandoned in the streets. The others went right because those houses have more walkers around them.

Maggie spent most of the walk berating Beth for her behavior as well as throwing accusations at me for us turning her sister against her real family. Beth didn't like that at all. Maggie even said we used Thorin to control Beth which had her face going purple in anger. Quite startling for someone so sweet to look so enraged.

She snapped back, "They saved my life! They made sure I can defend myself and They treat me like a valuable member of the group and not some weak burden that you think I should be!"

Beth pulled Thorin up from where he was walking between us. He immediately latched on, holding tight to her as she stomps off towards a house. I follow close beside her, my hand on my gun and my eyes cautiously watchful.

Glenn pulls Maggie to stop. Whatever he says to her makes her hiss back in anger but surprisingly he holds his ground. She crosses her arms, glaring back defiantly as he speaks calmly to her.

We ignore them. I open the front door, gun out and ready. A quick sweep shows no movement so we head inside. She sets Thorin down and he holds up the end of his leash, waiting for either of us to take it. 

Beth moves ahead, gun drawn and back tense. So I take the leash and tie it to my belt. He smiles, keeping a hand on my leg as he looks around curiously. 

There are toys here but they're all for babies, those less than a year old. Nothing that will interest him and I doubt there's anything in the living room that Lori will want. Although I could've done without seeing the small bouncer seat caked in blood.

We slip down the hall, trusting Beth to shout if she needs help. A quick glance shows her stuffing cans from the pantry into her backpack. Her face is no longer rage red but she's still angry.

The first door is a bedroom, an adult male. Whoever they were they were large because the clothes remind me terribly of Dudley's laundry. Theres also rotten food and dirty dishes that were left before the world fell apart. We dont bother going further than the door.

The next is a bathroom. We take the toilet tissue, razors, and feminine products. Thorin proudly helps me load them in my bag. I whisper to him that he's the Best helper which has him puffing up proudly.

The next room is another bedroom. This one has a full sized bed, dresser, and was clearly owned by a couple. But there's also a Moses crib in the corner behind the bed and several tins of baby formula on the dresser. We gather the formula that's out on the dresser but there's also a few stacked on the floor under the crib.

We slip inside, heading around the bed to check. Thorin stays behind my legs until I call clear. I do so as soon as I see that the box of diapers is all that's by the crib besides the stack of formula cans.

There's a closet behind the crib that I check quickly. Clothes, both male and female, is all that's in there. The sizes look about right for Carol and Glenn perhaps so I grab the clothes, especially the long sleeved shirts.

I toss them on the bed first since it's still relatively clean. Thorin climbs up on the bed, stretching the leash a bit but I'm careful not to pull him down. Then I pull two flowery bags from the top of the closet and Thorin helps me stuff them both full of the clothes. 

He and I share a proud grin as we work. Thankfully, even when excited, he stays quiet. Then he climbs down from the bed and insists on helping me carry one of the bags. I cast a small featherweight spell on the bag so he doesn't struggle with it.

We leave the bags by the front door. We need to go back and gather the other baby supplies and check the last room but I want to check on Beth first. Maggie and Glenn are still in the road. Only now he's holding her as she curls against him. Her too thin shoulders tremble with obvious tears.

I glance back at Beth still clearing the kitchen. She seems to have it mostly done, her backpack bulging. And the anger seems to have left her while she worked.

"You know," I try gently, "your family is just worried about you."

She frowns back but I point out, "They thought we were all dead for three months."

She huffs tiredly, "And yet all Maggie wants to do is yell at me."

"She's worried," I explain carefully. "She finally sees you after three months around four guys, three of which she doesn't trust. She's afraid that we've hurt you, taken advantage of you. She wants you to be safe and she's confused why you're different."

I try not to smile even though I'm proud of myself for figuring it out. She sighs, "What's different is I'm stronger now. We're healthy and safe and I'm clearly well looked after. She's just mad that she's been starving and scared while following Rick."

"Maybe," I agree more for peace than anything. "But perhaps all she knows is how much she's been afraid and she thinks you must've felt the same."

Beth frowns, tugging the heavy pack up on her shoulder. I hit it with a quick featherweight charm so it won't hurt her. She throws me an appreciative smile.

"Maybe you should spend supper just relaxing with them," I suggest. "I can cook, no problem."

She grins, "If Maggie can behave then it will be nice."

We're interrupted by raised male voices from outside. We hurry to the living room, peaking out the window. Maggie and Glenn are both down on their knees while three tall thin black men aim guns at their heads. 


	42. Dog eat dog world

Chapter 42: Dog eat dog world

Beth mutters a curse under her breath. I look around carefully, spotting a fourth man shielding a heavily pregnant woman and a small toddler girl from the scene ahead. Those two look around in discomfort but neither has a weapon visible.

Beth and I both draw guns. It's a risk but I keep my wand in my right hand along with a knife so they won't notice. That way I can cast a shield charm if they start firing. I reassure Beth of that as I remind Thorin to stay hidden behind my legs.

We burst out the door, guns aimed as we walk. They turn quickly to aim guns and glares at us. I keep myself forward, staring them down.

"This doesn't have to end in bloodshed," I call loud but calm.

One sneers hatefully, "What's a little cracker ass like you gonna do?"

I hold myself still, keeping my voice as level as my gun, "I don't want to kill you but I will protect my people. You let them go and we'll leave the area. No one has to get hurt."

The first guy laughs but the one next to him eyes us warily. The third armed man seems to follow the first ones lead. The man shielding the woman and child looks nervously between each group, clearly uncomfortable.

"I'll even sweeten the deal," I offer steadily. "We'll leave the bag of food we already collected. You keep it and you can have whatever else is in these houses. You just put down your guns and let us walk away."

The second guy shifts, glancing at the first and saying, "It's a good deal, Rage."

The first guy, Rage, scoffs dismissively, "I say we kill em all and take all they got."

"They got a kid, man," says the fourth guy shielding the woman.

The first laughs, his gun shifting just a touch down. I have that split second to realize that he's going to aim at Thorin. Theres no way in hell I'll allow that. 

My gun gives a silent bark in my hand. A second gun barks slightly louder beside me. The first and third men fall limply to the ground.

The second guy throws his hands up in alarm, eyeing Beth and me startled. The other man as well as the woman jump, clinging tighter to each other. Maggie and Glenn scramble forward, careful not to get in our line of sight.

"He was going to aim at my kid," I tell them calmly. "I'll never allow a threat to my family cause them any harm."

The second guy nods, agreeing quickly as he keeps shifting his gaze from me to Beth and back again. The fourth guy shifts worriedly, keeping his hands held up as he asks, "We still cool, right? We don't want no trouble."

"Neither do we," I offer calmly, sharing a glance with Beth. 

She slips the backpack off her shoulder, tossing it closer to the man and woman. I wave the second guy to drop his gun which he does, eyeing us as if he's not sure what to think. Maybe they've run into troublesome survivors before. 

"Our deal holds," I offer to them. "We walk away and you get the bag we've collected and whatever you pull from these houses."

The two men share a glance, both nodding their agreement. We move wide around them. Beth has to pull her sister to get her moving but both Maggie and Glenn quickly fall into step.

"Wait!" The pregnant woman steps forward, her little girl clutched close over her swollen belly. The man beside her shifts to keep her blocked from view but she sidesteps him again. Her eyes pleading as she pleads, "Let us come with you!"

The man shielding her mutters, "Nichelle!"

She scoffs back, "Brently, be serious now, we need the help!"

I glance over at Beth who looks the three adults over carefully before nodding agreement. I call over to them before an argument can start, "We got no problem taking in people but there will be rules."

The men look back warily. Beth speaks up clearly, "Everyone pulls their weight. Everyone learns to fight and is expected to work for the good of the group."

"We won't ask what you can't do," I assure them as the woman hesitated nervously, eyeing Beth. "But you will be expected to help out."

The woman agrees quickly prompting both men to hurriedly agree. I look them over again but I don't see anything threatening in their stance. I lower my gun, holstering it and nodding for Beth to do the same.

Thorin peaks out curious from behind my legs. The woman softens at the sight of him, offering a gentle smile that he returns with an eager wave. Both men relax some but it's clear that they're both still nervous.

"Are we going to have problems because of this?" I ask, motioning to the bodies laying still on the ground.

The two men share a look, both shaking their head negatively. So I send Maggie and Glenn back into the house we were clearing to gather the bags we left by the door. They grab up the guns from the two dead men. Then I explain to the men how we're going to keep searching the houses. 

Beth offers to stay close to the woman and child, protecting them. I untie Thorins leash, passing the end to Beth and leading the two new men into the next house. I tell Brently to clear the kitchen of food while me and the other guy, who says his name is Jag, clear the bedrooms.

This house had several small children and a plethora of backpacks and small bags. We gather all the kids clothes at my prompting. I tell Jag that we try to plan ahead whenever possible. The last thing we want is to be scrambling last minute for supplies when we can gather them now and worry less later.

I do find plenty of feminine products in the two bathrooms. In the bedroom I find a pair of glasses with vibrant red frames. Curiosity has me slipping them on and astonishingly enough they work. In fact, I see clearer than I have with my old glasses. So I keep them, grabbing the second pair of glasses in the bedside table as well as the packs of contacts beside them.

Once this house is clear we move to the next. Beth and Nichelle have moved with the children to help Glenn and Maggie clear the next house on their side. We leave the bags at the end of the driveway for now and keep working.

No one comments on the dead men on the road. I'm curious but I don't ask. And neither man seems overly upset at the loss. So instead we continue working together. Although they do eye the bags with concern. 


	43. Meet and greet

Chapter 43: Meet and greet

The rumble of the truck startles the men. I wave off their concern, looking out the window to be sure. The familiar black truck pulls down the cove, circling to point back towards the road. Sirius slips out, throwing a concerned look towards the two bodies in the road and hurriedly looking around.

I step out of the house, waving calmly to let him know we're alright. The men are more hesitant but both get to work, helping me move the bags to the truck. They even head back for the other bags as the rest of our scavenging group comes out of the next house over.

Sirius slips close to me, frowning at the new people and asking, "What happened here, Pup?"

"The two dead were a problem but the others are alright," I answer back calmly.

He frowns, questioning silently whether we should be working with them. But I frown back at him defensively, "There isn't that many people left, Sirius, we need to help the good ones when we can."

He sighs, eyeing the new people warily but not arguing. Beth gives him a sheepish grin as she and Glenn load several baby bags and a Moses basket full of packs of wipes. Maggie tosses in five boxes of diapers, all different sizes.

I wave the woman Nichelle to climb in the truck with her daughter. She does so gratefully after loading a bulging suitcase into the back. Brantley throws me an appreciative glance, brushing the woman's arm as they pass.

We didn't find much food, only three backpacks full in all eight houses. But we found plenty of clothes, baby items, and other supplies that we'll need. Sirius even compliments my new glasses, smiling when I say they work better than the others.

We make it back to the RV after the other group. Rick is standing toe to toe with Merle, glaring stubbornly. Daryl is the one to answer when we ask what happened, "Rick still thinks he's in charge here."

I frown at Rick, "We follow Merle and Sirius's lead, mostly Merle. He's been doing a damn good job so far, often thinking of things the rest of us don't. If our two groups combine then you will follow our lead. That means following Merles lead."

Lori scoffs, "Rick is our leader, not that redneck trash!"

Daryl tenses, glaring angrily. But it's Beth that responds coldly, "We haven't starved. We haven't lived in constant fear. We haven't been cold or lost or confused about our next move. Can you say the same?"

Lori glares back dismissively, "Rick is a good leader! All he's ever done is take care of all of you!"

"We haven't seen each other in months," Beth snaps back. "In that time all of you are still in the same clothes, far skinnier and weaker than you were before, and you've all admitted that you've followed him without knowing where you're going or what the future holds."

"We've always planned three steps ahead," I add. "For every decision Merle makes there are at least two alternate options if the first doesn't work."

"And we dont go hungry!" Beth adds tiredly. "We have food and clothes and supplies. We're careful not to waste supplies but we have never gone to sleep wanting for anything more."

Lori insists again that Rick is in charge. Sirius snaps back haughtily, "Then we go our seperate ways. Because there's no way we're going to follow him. We have our ways and they work!"

Lori sniffs back, "We don't need your help!"

Merle shrugs unconcerned, "Fine by me cause I don't wanna deal with all your drama anyways. But remember these vehicles are ours and we ain't sharing them."

Several voices speak up at that. I motion for Nichelle and Beth to follow me inside the RV with the kids. This argument will continue for a while no doubt and I don't want the headache. So instead I get started on supper.

Voices are raised outside, anger clear to hear. Then a door slams followed by a lot of grumbling. I risk a glance outside to see everyone but Rick and Lori still out under the carport. It seems those two have gone inside to argue with each other. Carl presses against Carol's side, ignoring his parents behavior.

I glance over at Sirius to ask, "Wanna check vehicles to see if there's one they can take? We can leave them a few packs of food and some baby supplies."

"Youre far too good, Pup," he replies dismissively but he does walk over to the van. Daryl slips off to follow him, crossbow held ready. I get back to supper, trusting them to take care of things.

Nichelle tells us how Bently is her brother and Jag is his friend. The others were their neighbors before the fall. They traveled together for convenience but they've lost a lot of people along the way. Her husband, Trevon, as well as her brothers wife, Caroline, were lost early on.

Beth tells her our story. She tells her about how her family was safe on their farm and met us when we showed up. She mentioned how the farm was overrun and how we were seperated. She explains the argument outside being a result of that.

Nichelle admits that it looks like we do well. She also asks what our next step is. We explain how we were planning to finish clearing the houses but we will probably leave them for Rick and whoever stays with him.

Merle steps inside, huffing annoyed, "We're gonna go for our plan P."

"Seriously?" Beth asks concerned. "Are you sure it'll be safe?"

"What's plan P?" Nichelle asks concerned.

Merle grins, "P for prison. Theres one not too far so that's where we'll go."

She gasps startled, "What about the prisoners?"

He snorts, "They're all dead or turned for sure. We'll lure them out like we did at that WIC office we cleared."

"The bikes?" I ask to clarify. He and Daryl used the motorcycles to lure the walkers away from the fenced in WIC office. They made a big loop around the area while we hurried inside to clear it. 

He grins amused, "Yep, lure em out and get our people inside. Close the gates back up and pick em off at the fences if they show back up. Nice an easy."

Beth and I both nod our agreement. It will work and even better, it will give us a strong home base. Sirius can even do something to strengthen the fences in case a herd shows up. Yeah, it'll work great.

Nichelle relaxes, seeing us smiling helps her accept it. Merle says we'll head out after supper, just to another house. Then in the morning we'll head off on our way to the prison. It'll take a few days, maybe a week if the roads give us trouble. But it'll be well worth the effort.


	44. Parting is so sweet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

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> Hope y'all enjoy the story😊💐💐

Chapter 44: parting is so sweet

After supper we loaded everyone into the vehicles and moved to a house in the next neighborhood over. And by everyone I do mean everyone. Even Rick and Lori came along grumbling.

Well, Lori came along grumbling about how we're a bunch of traitors who are doing them wrong. The snippy comments haven't stopped yet. Rick just refused to look at anyone.

It didn't last long though. Sirius and I had watch overnight. So it was all too easy to see Rick and Lori sneaking out of the house. Especially since Carl was silently digging in his heels.

We watched them go for the truck, knowing the keys are always kept inside. I suppose he picked the truck because of the visible Moses basket, plethora of baby supplies, and pile of bags. But we didn't collect those supplies for them.

A crossbow twangs, the arrow passing quite close to Ricks face. Both Sirius and I stand up, watching him warily as he aims his gun back at us. The tableau only holds for a moment though.

"You gonna keep us prisioner?" Rick snaps out angrily.

"Nope," Sirius drawls out, mocking Ricks accent, "but y'all ain't takin our shit either."

"The minivan was chosen for you," I remind him pointedly. "It has a full tank of gas and supplies within that's already been set aside for you from what you scavenged with us and what we donated to you."

Sirius smirks, baring sharp teeth as he adds, "You've made a habit of trying to take more than your share. Thinking you're entitled to it for some strange reason. But we're not going to roll over and play ball."

"You know what's been set aside for you," I remind them again. Especially considering how much tension they've stirred up since they grudgingly agreed to come with us. We won't make them leave with nothing but we won't let them steal from us either.

Lori sneers accusingly, "Youre really going to cast us out with nothing?"

Sirius snorts, "Woman, you already have our bullets, a van that we scavenged, clothes in those packs you're carrying that came from our supplies. We could leave you with that and it would be more that you deserve."

"But I'm pregnant!" She snaps back, suddenly sounding desperate.

Sirius shrugs, "Ain't our fault. Way I remember, it isn't your husband's fault either. And we're not responsible for your decisions although I do pity that baby."

Lori grabs Ricks arm, whispering shrilly enough that her voice carries, "Lets just go back inside then."

"No can do," Merle calls out loudly, lighting a cigarette as he steps out of the RV. He pulls his gun, lazily aiming it as he tells them, "You can't be trusted so you ain't stayin with us. Best y'all take the minivan and get on your way."

"You'll abandon us to die?" Lori shrieks accusingly. "You'll condemn my children to die?"

Merle rolls his eyes, "You've done that yourselves. We gave ya a chance and ya spit it right back in our faces. We gave ya supplies enough to last ya a month and ya have the nerve to try to steal more."

"It's best you leave now," Sirius growls warningly. "And know that if we meet again it won't be as friends."

They still hesitate. Lori holds Carl, looking back and forth from us at the RV to the others slowly spilling out of the house. They no doubt heard her last comment and she's confused why everyone didn't rush to her defense. 

She seems to think being pregnant makes her a priority. As if it makes her life worth more than everyone else's. And she doesn't know why people aren't rushing to defend her, to beg her back into the group. Merlin, she does remind me of Aunt Petunia.

A gun barks loudly in the night, the sound echoing. I jump, unaccustomed to the nonspelled weapons. Smoke curls up from Ricks gun, identifying the source.

Sirius barks a laugh, "You honestly shot me? With the bullets I gave you?"

I glance over, unable to see a wound in the dark. Sirius fires back, the sound softer. But Rick stumbles back with the hit. Darkness spreads from his left shoulder.

Lori starts shrieking that we've killed him. She damns us and commands Hershel to come save him. He would've too if anyone but Beth had called him to stop. 

"Let them go, Daddy," Beth says calmly, standing in the RV doorway behind Merle. "He brought that on himself and everyone can see it's not fatal. But I don't want them near my family."

Hershels steps falter, his gaze locked onto his younger daughter. After a moment he nods his agreement. He still looks pained, more so when Lori screams traitor and tries to order him to help. She even tries to beg but when that doesn't get an immediate response she throws insults.

Merle orders the others to pack up quickly. All this noise will draw in the walkers and we don't want them sneaking up on us. They hurry to obey, lighting lanterns to see with inside the house.

Besides the minivan we prepped for the Grimes, we also grabbed two SUVs. The new additions are evenly split between the truck and them, each is supplied should they want to split. One SUV goes to Hershel, Maggie, and Glenn. The other goes with Carol and T dog while the truck goes with the four new people; Nichelle, Brently, Jag, and little Tinashea, nicknamed Tiny.

We get everyone loaded up. Merle climbs up into the van while Sirius and I climb into the RV. The motorcycles are on a metal trailer being pulled by the truck because their engines are too loud. 

"Walkers coming," Merle shouts out as we drive off. He rams three, disorienting the herd as he passes. We follow his lead. I glance questioningly at Sirius who snorts out, "Knew they'd try something so I kept a shield up."


	45. P is for prison

Chapter 45: P is for prison

It took five days to reach the prison. Thankfully we didn't run into any more groups. We also haven't seen Rick and Lori so maybe we won't see them again.

Beth often scavenges supplies with her father or sister. It's her way of apologizing to them for drawing the line in the sand as it were. But she still won't budge on sleeping arrangements. 

Maggie has mellowed a lot since she saw me and Beth take out those two guys. She's looking at Beth differently. It's like she's proud and disappointed all at once. But she's no longer snapping and insulting us. And she doesn't question when Beth or I issue orders.

With Hershel, he's gotten quieter. He looks at Beth with pride and sorrow. I'm sure the painful regret that he struggles to hide is because his sweet daughter had to become stronger. I guess he would rather she stay gentle and passive. But that would just leave her a victim, something I don't think he realizes.

Thorin and Tiny have quickly become the best of friends. She's all long limbs and sweet smiles for a two year old. She's also a little louder than Thorin but nothing that's caused problems so far. He's enjoyed having someone to share his toys and snacks with. She even rides in our RV sometimes.

We would've made the trip in three day perhaps because the roads were fairly deserted. But we raided in two more subdivisions as well as a corner pharmacy. And when we raid, we take everything that we can. 

One thing we found, in a rundown house with a flat roof and confederate flags hanging in broken windows, were guns. And I don't mean a few rifles in a locked cabinet like we've found a time or two. I mean a self dug basement with clay and cenderblock walls, were over fifty guns. It was barely tall enough for me and Beth to stand up in and narrow but stretching nearly the length of the house.

Another house, less dilapidated and without the flag, also contained a basement full of guns, ammo, and two crates of MREs. Merle cackled out that redneck have the best toys. Of course, that might be because that house also had a shoebox sized crate of dynamite.

We also found three small greenhouses. One only had a few tomato plants and a blackberry bush. The second had a few lemon trees in planter buckets and some raised boxes of squash and peppers and beans. The third was bigger, with a lot of foods growing as well as canned food in the kitchen. 

It wasn't all roses, of course. We hit several houses that were already ransacked. We found one house with twelve walkers trapped inside. And we got stuck hiding in our vehicles from a herd of over a hundred that bumped along against us as they passed. That was a nerve racking mess but at least no one was hurt or lost.

We found a hunting store that was mostly empty. We did scavenge an ungodly amount of arrows as well as a few more crossbows. Beth even found some kind of foot powered washing machines that are the size of small waste baskets. So naturally we grabbed those.

We went a bit out of our way one day to hit a tractor supply store. It was raided heavily and there were plenty of walkers inside that we had to take out. But there were plenty of gardening tools, seeds, and other items that Beth insisted we grab. 

Merle even decided to take down the iron fence and metal sheet roofing in case we need them later. Sirius was able to get that done without breaking anything so it was only a matter of loading it on trailers for our trucks and SUVs to pull. I've no idea how the others didn't notice but somehow they didnt.

We also found another RV, older than ours but bigger. It's mostly black and grey with sharp white lines. It was parked on the side of the road with an empty tank, abandoned and bloodstained. But we had plenty of fuel set aside so we filled it up and claimed it as ours. 

That way Nichelle and Tiny can have a bed to sleep in. Theres even a set of bunk beds inside that Jag and Brently claimed. All four have been a great addition to our group although there's still a bit of awkwardness. It's the worst between T dog and Merle but they seem to be coming around to some kind of understanding.

We haven't told any of the others about our magic and we probably won't for a while. It's just not safe and not something we're willing to risk. So we've packed and squirrels away all of the supplies that we've gathered.

We stop a mile down the road. We double park, blocking the road but in such a way that we can move when we need to. It's our way of circling the wagons as it were. 

Merle, Daryl, and Sirius will scout ahead while Beth and I cook up supper. They come back a half hour later as we're plating up the food. We all gather in the space between our vehicles to discuss what they found.

"It looks good, real good, but it's full of walkers," Sirius tells us.

Merle nods agreement, "We'll open the gates and rev the bikes to draw out as many as we can. Then we'll lead them off, further down the road. Y'all wait an hour after we head out so any stragglers won't be lingering and y'all get in the gate."

"But don't go inside," Daryl barks out. "And close the two gates, stay between the two fences until we get back."

"Some of the people had civilian clothes," Sirius explains, accepting the plate I pass to him. "We think there's a breach somewhere but we won't know until we search. We do know that the area between the two fence lines looks the most stable."

Merle nods, chewing his food before adding, "We're not gonna take any foolish risks. We're gonna move in slow, make sure we don't get overwhelmed down some dark ass hallway or somethin. Understood?"

Everyone agrees, accepting and even hopeful about our plans. After supper we set a watch, Brently and Glenns turn tonight. Then everyone goes to bed because tomorrow will be a big day.


	46. Best laid plans

Chapter 46: Best laid plans

The morning starts off well enough. At dawn the three ride off on their motorcycles, the engines loudly rumbling. We stay loaded in the vehicles, waiting until the hour is up before movin slowly forward.

The prison is actually amazing to look at. Theres a wide area between two tall fences that has knee high grass. Beth's already talking about how we can farm it.

There's a tall guards tower, reachable from the field between the fences. Another is connected to the building within the inner fence. Theres several buildings that we can see, all solid concrete. And besides a single walker just beyond the innermost fence, it's clear of them.

But we hold to the plan. I position Jag on the second RV as watch. Glenn, Maggie, and T dog take the tower in the field. Brently and I hurry to close the gates. Then we just have to wait for the others to return.

Beth comes out with Thorin and a folding chair. He walks over to the second RV, calling to Tiny who happily stumbles out with her mother's help. They sit down at the foot of the steps with several toy construction trucks.

Beth takes a notebook with her, sitting next to the kids while Nichelle sits on their other side. Both talk excitedly about the buildings and the field and what can be done and what we have and what we need. From what I hear, Beth is writing up a shopping list for later. Hershel joins them, offering his own insight as a farmer, much to Beth's pleasure.

It's nearly two hours before we hear the engines rumbling closer. Another ten minutes before we see all three men. Brently and I hurry to open the fence, letting them in and closing it behind them.

Merle insists we break for lunch. Now that we're closer he wants to plan out how we'll do this. We'll have to leave someone on watch as well as leaving the kids behind. We don't want to take in too many but we need enough bodies to be sure we can clear it.

It's decided that Brently and Carol will stay on guard. Hershel and Nichelle will stay with the kids. Thorin blinks around startled, unused to being without me or Beth. We both flounder for a moment before she steps back, agreeing to remain as an extra gun.

Merle has us split. He, Sirius, Maggie, and Glenn will take one building. Daryl, T dog, Jag, and I will take the other. If either of us runs into too much trouble then we'll fall back and regroup.

We work together to clear the courtyard. It's easy as they already lured out all of the walkers. Our group takes the building to our right while the other slips off into the building on the left with the second guard tower.

We have strong spotlights to light our way. We also have about a dozen glow sticks each. So as agreed, I break a glowstick, shake it til it glows, and toss it as far down the hall as I can. 

The hall on our left is a long stretch with an iron bar gate built just at the turn. On our right is a short hall and another barred gate. We turn right at Daryl's direction.

It opens first into an area with picnic like tables and built in stools, all bolted to the floor. Beyond that the room turns left to reveal two stories of cells, all along the left wall with windows on the right. They're dirty but not bloody. Beyond needing to be cleaned, it's all in good shape.

We check each cell to be sure there's no surprises. Twelve cells on both levels will be more than enough for us all. Excited smiles are shared because this is awesome.

There's a barred door at the back corner that leads to a long dark hallway. I throw several glow sticks but we can already hear the moaning so we know there's walkers down there. Daryl produces a small bike chain and padlock that Jag wraps around the bars to secure it.

We move back through the main room, leaving behind a lit lantern on one of the tables. Then we head off down the left hall. It has four doors on the left and one halfway down on the right with another barred door at the end. The one on the right leads to a bathroom/shower room. It's full of blood smears and bullet holes litter the tile walls but there are no bodies.

The first door on the left is just a broom cupboard. The second is a break room it seems with a table, a long counter, and a fridge beside two venting machines and a drink machine. Theres a mess left behind from where walkers clearly ate someone. Nothing but strips of cloth, smears of blood, and a few bits of bone remain.

The last two rooms are offices. Both are small with a desk and filing cabinets. Both contain a uniformed body, both have a bullet hole in their skull and a gun on the floor at their feet. We do manage to find a map and each officer had a ring of keys on their belts that we claimed.

We head to the end of the hall where it juts off to the right. Only a herd of walkers turn the corner, coming towards us. We hurry back, slamming the barred door in place and hurriedly locking it. 

The walkers crowd around the bars, rotting arms reaching through. Daryl pulls a knife, meeting my gaze and nodding for me to do the same. We both lunge forward, stabbing a walker in the head and jumping back. 

T dog and Jag both pull their knives. Then we take turns. Two lunge forward, stabbing skulls and jumping back. Then the other two strike forward. We get a rhythm that keeps up until the pile of corpses against the bars is just too thick for the others to crawl forward any more.

Daryl calls us to check the shower room and cell block again. The last thing we want is a herd to push through at our backs. So we do another sweep of the shower room first. 

Theres only one door in and out, a wide double door. Theres eleven shower stalls, two rows of five with one on the far end separating the two rows, each with half walls to seperate them. Then theres five bathtubs lined up followed by a wall of toilets without any stalls, only partial walls again.

We leave back out, leaving a lantern lit behind us in case anyone needs to go in. The corpses are still piled against the far hall gate and the still moving ones beyond seem to have wondered off once they couldn't see us anymore.

Daryl waves us to keep moving. He even locks the hall gate behind us, leaving us in the short hallway with the door outside still wide open. But before we reenter the cell block, there's an explosion that rocks the very foundation, roaring a burst of fire up into the sky.


	47. Smoke

Chapter 47: smoke

We rush back out into the courtyard to see smoke billowing out of the far building. T dog unfolds the map, scrambling to make sense of it to figure out what went up. Jag leans over his shoulder, pulling one side of the map higher as they both scramble to find an answer.

"Cafateria!" Jag burst out, "It came from the building with the cafeteria. Gas pipe blew, maybe?"

We don't have to wait all that long. Daryl won't let us go near as long as the smoke is still billowing black like that. So we check on the others and wait in the courtyard. It's a long half hour but only a half hour.

Sirius comes out first, grinning and sweeping me up into a hug. Glenn and Maggie both shoot him fearful looks as they hurry through the gate to where the others are clustered. Merle comes out last, moving straight to his brother with a concerned look in his eyes.

Sirius puts me down, rambling proudly about our new home. I tell him about the cell block and the shower room and the keys we found. He mentions the wardens office, signs for a library and medical bay that they didn't get to and a cafeteria that they did.

He says there were survivors hiding inside. He said they're not a threat, he took care of it. He says they ate most of the food but there's still some left.

Merle calls everyone to gather at the inner gate, opening it wide since he says it's safe enough for now. He asks for updates from those on watch. They tell him it was all quiet until the explosion and quiet again after that.

"Alright," he commands, "here's the deal. We got a cell block that's clear. It just needs to be cleaned and we can move in. Most of y'all will be working on that with Beth in charge."

She nods proudly, Thorin hugging her leg before running to me. I lift him up, sharing a grin with her as we turn back to Merle. He stares long at the guard towers, clearly thoughtful.

"We're gonna leave someone in each tower," he decides. "How about Chinaman and cowgirl take the field tower. Black dog there can take this one. Y'all work in shifts to keep watch while we work."

Maggie glares angrily back at him but doesnt argue. T dog wrinkles his nose in disgust but nods his agreement. Although he does call Merle a crusty ass cracker.

"Me, Daryl, Sirius, and Harry are gonna clear this place one hall at a time," he continues, not even pausing as he flips T dog off. "Black momma's gonna keep the little ones in her RV while everyone else works on cleaning out the cell block. Black momma's gonna cook for us while we work, sound good?"

Nichelle raises a challenging eyebrow, asking, "You do know I have a name, don't you?"

Merle grins back teasingly, "It's black momma, right?"

She huffs a laugh, deciding to be amused rather than offended. But everyone agrees the division is fair. And Merle warns the three that get the towers to work in shifts, morning, noon, and evening. The other two will clean while one is on watch.

We carry a few buckets and a box of cleaning supplies inside. We'll wait until morning to get started but this way we're already prepped to go. And I pass a set of keys to Beth since she'll be in charge of the cleaning crew. Daryl keeps the other set of keys since we'll be clearing the cursed.

Sirius takes watch while the rest of us bed down in our vehicles. I can't help but ask Merle what happened. I know something bad happened but no one has said what.

He rubs his face, looking away tiredly but he answers, "There were five survivors. Only one really looked like trouble. Sirius didn't even give them time to talk." 

He looks around, lowering his voice further, "He shot the first and the others dove back to hide. They was screaming that they just wanted to leave. I said we should talk to em but he ran forward and did something that blasted a huge ass hole in the side of the building."

I rub his arm, understanding his concern now. He sighs, hugging me tighter while Daryl reaches over to grip his wrist. Even Beth runs fingers gently across his cheek to comfort him.

He sighs, pressing closer to all of us, "They wasn't even all bad. Hell, they was stupid and delinquents but not evil. Only one was a problem."

I struggle, worrying that I should explain. They're pack, they deserve to know. At least it will help them understand.

"He was imprisoned for crimes he didn't commit," I admit softly. "The place they sent him was hell on earth. It was torture, mental mostly. He was a little wild before but it's made him really unstable."

"How long has he been out?" Beth asks softly.

I cringe, "He escaped to protect me. It was only because he could shift forms and they didn't know. That's how he stayed sane, by hiding in his other form.   
But things got crazy and they didn't have time to catch him. "

Daryl and Merle both mutter a curse. I hurry to reassure them, "He sees you as pack now so he won't hurt any of you. But the others are still strangers. Until he accepts them as pack, he won't care if they live or die."

"Nichelle and Tiny?" Beth asks nervously.

I sigh, "He would toss them to the walkers if he thought it would protect us. He will prioritize me, even over Thorin. But he sees you as pack now so he will try to keep you safe. But he won't hesitate to kill others, even those with us."

"Fucking hell!" Daryl curses, his arms wrapping tighter around Beth. Her hand tightens on my arm and Merles arm tightens around my waist.

"I'm sorry," I whisper to them.

Merle rubs his cheek against my shoulder, "It ain't your fault, kid. We know now to keep an eye out for trouble. We got this, kids, don't worry none."

Daryl grunts his agreement, reaching out to rub my shoulder as he presses Beth closer. Both Dixons press closer to each of us, shielding us protectively. Thorin sleeps peacefully between us, unaware of the troublesome news we've shared.


	48. Cell block tango

Chapter 48: cell block tango

It takes a full day to get the cell block clean. They strip out the old mattresses and sheets, piling them in the field to destroy later. The room reeks of bleach now so we leave it to air out. Thankfully they were able to take the windows out of the right side wall so the room will air out over night.

We pushed through the pile of corpses against the barred gate. T dog and Jag helped us drag them outside, again to the field. I stayed guard at the gate, pulling corpses through while keeping watch for more walkers.

We followed the hall, finding another cell block with a door that opens into the courtyard on the back end. There's also catacombs below that we risk following. That wasn't the smartest move.

We got pinned down in a boiler room with two walkers inside that we put down. We had gone down a hall only to see it full of walkers in that frozen still way they sometimes get. We hurried back but they chased us and we had to dodge into a door down a dark hall.

Then Sirius laughingly opened the door, casting a spell with his wand that had a flaming wolf erupt from the end. It burnt the walkers to dust but miraculously didn't burn the building. It also left us in a scalding hot room, gasping and choking.

Sirius canceled the fire spell. Then he waved his wand again, twice. The first time seemed to cool the room some. The second sent a rush of fresh air that soothed our lungs.

Sirius looked back at us, unhappy with the shocked looks we all sported. But at least he wasn't offended. Although he did say we'd have to wait a half hour before going out into the hall even with the magic he cast.

We wait it out, no one willing to comment and Sirius getting increasingly frustrated with the tension. When he opens the door, a rush of hot air enters. He casts spells to cool the hallway and another rush of air blows through. 

We get back to work. I stay close to Sirius, hoping he won't do anything foolish. Merle and Daryl guard our back.

The catacombs stretch beneath all of the buildings. Besides the boiler room there's also a laundry room and a generator room that we found. There's plenty of walkers too but we keep taking them out.

Sirius is the one to find the end of the tunnel that leads outside. It's collapsed but still open enough that walkers can get in. Sirius casts spells to repair the damage, pushing the stone and concrete back into place.

We shoot the walkers while he works. It only takes a few minutes and at least we know that no more walkers will get in. Then we call it a day and head back to the others.

Our second day has the others moving supplies into the cell block. Beth says we have enough sleeping bags to act as cushions for now but we'll need to get mattresses soon. Merle told her to make a list and we'll look when we start doing supply runs.

We spend the second day going through the other buildings. We stop briefly by the cafeteria. The whole kitchen area, mostly what was the walk in freezer, is completely destroyed. And there is a huge hole in the wall, open to the field with a clear view to the outer fence and the trees beyond.

We find the library. It looks ignored without even a spot of blood inside. Merle jokes that no one here could read.

The medical bay isn't so lucky. It's a mess of blood smears and half eaten bodies. There's overturned furniture and broken ceiling tiles and tube bulbs. We'll bring Hershel here later to inventory and clean it up. 

We also find another cell block full of bodies, each shot in the head and rotting in the cells. It's not connected to the others. Merle says that means these were the dangerous one. 

Then we find a visitors center with vending machines. Near that is a small store like room where the inmates could buy items. And in another seperate building is the weapons locker. It's barely half full but that's better than nothing. Theres even a mechanics shop of sorts set up with three bays. Merles excited about that.

We head back around to the first cell block. Music spill out from the room, our small radio playing the music Merle and Daryl love. Beth is up on the table, dancing with Thorin. Several others are laughing and dancing around happily.

We celebrate our success with a big dinner of deer steaks, mashed potatoes with cheese, turnip greens, corn, carrots, and cheddar biscuits. Merle loudly praises the meal as well as the music. Nichelle throws a carrot at him playfully which makes him laugh, popping the carrot in his mouth.

Beth set us up in some room upstairs. It was a guard room with wide open windows that were broken out. She said there were bulky desks with a lot of buttons inside but the guys helped her throw them outside.

It's been swept and mopped and scrubbed clean. There's a large pile of sleeping bags and blankets piled in one corner and several of our bags piled against the wall. We all settle into bed. Sirius stays at my back, clinging to me, while Merle sleeps on Daryls other side. We all rest comfortably, pleased with our new home.


	49. Settling in

Chapter 49: settling in

Merle calls everyone's attention at breakfast, "We got us a few shopping lists that we've looked over. The farming shit can wait since we can't plant til spring. So we're gonna go for beds and shit first."

Beth huffs amused at his antics. Thorin climbs from her lap to mine when she stands. She comes back with a jug of soda that gets shared with me and Thorin. The others besides Tiny are drinking coffee.

I nuzzle Thorins shoulder, smiling as he sleepily munches on the biscuits Daryl made. It's slathered thickly in peach jam that leaves his fingers and cheeks sticky. I share an amused grin with Sirius.

Merle lays a map out on the table, "Ain't far out, about here, is that furniture store. We'll hit it, take all the mattresses they got and set ourselves up real nice."

That earns a lot of smiles and cheers from the group. He grins, adding, "Daryls gonna stay behind. I'll lead the run with kid, black dog, Chinaman, and those two lugs."

There's a few huffs at the fact that he doesn't call anyone by name but no one argues. We gather together, taking the truck and one of the SUVs, both pulling trailers behind them. Maggie and Carol follow us down, locking the gate as we leave.

It takes about an hour to get to the store because the road we want to take is blocked. So we circle around the long way and get to the large building with its big yellow signs. It's a cheep store but they advertise mattresses and they're closer than the big furniture store so we'll try here first.

The lot is empty, a chain on the door that T dog breaks open with a large cutter tool. Merle leads the others inside while I stay out on watch. I climb on the building roof from the truck because the parking lot dips down so I'll have a better line of sight from the roof.

The tiles are scratchy and the sun is warm but it's otherwise cold today. The area around here is deserted. This building sits in an odd area between two smaller towns but with only trees around. Although a half mile down the road is a gas station and just beyond that are more stores.

I tug my leather jacket tighter around me to shield from the wind. It's honestly too big but we found it while scavenging and I loved the smell of it. It's older soft dark leather that's warm, hanging down to midthigh.

It's boring work just sitting up here keeping watch. It's serious work but boring. I keep half an eye on them moving small mattresses out but most of my attention is on the road and the woods around us.

I watch them moving back and forth. For such clashing personalities they work well together. Merle does keep goading them along which obviously annoys them but they give back as good as they get. 

It's amusing to listen to them snarking at each other. I learn all kinds of insults that I'm not exactly certain of the meaning. Hermione would be down there lecturing them, especially Merle.

My chest aches as I think of her, as I think of them. I get lost in the scent of ink and parchment and old leather, probably why I like this jacket so much. Hermione would be amazing here. 

She would know exactly what spells will help most. Turning a mouse into a teacup or making a pineapple tapdance won't exactly help us here. But Hogwarts didn't exactly equip me to handle this.

Sirius could teach me. He said he would later. He also said we could invent our own spells but I'm not sure about that. Hermione could do it but I don't think I can.

At least I'm doing better than Ron would. He's far too used to eating large meals. And I don't think he would handle the walkers that we'll either. 

That's not fair to think that way. I miss my friends, both of them. I wish they were here for a purely selfish reason but I'm also glad they're not. I don't think I could handle them being in this kind of danger. Although they may be in a different kind of danger back home.

I wonder briefly what they're doing now. They're probably at school. Hopefully they won't be in too much danger but that's a foolish thought. Because Voldemort is there. But maybe Dumbledore can convince people that he's come back. Maybe people will fight him. 

I wish we could go back, if for no other reason than to know they're safe. Sirius says there isn't a way back. He says the ministry has studied the veil for centuries, millennia even. And they've never gotten anyone or anything to come back through.

Sirius says we'll be declared dead there. He left a will that left everything to me but there's a backup that leaves it split between Remus, Tonka, and her mother who is Sirius favorite cousin. He also said that my money probably went to them as well.

Not that it matters anymore. Money hidden in a vault on a world we can never return to is nothing to us. Besides, we have it good enough here. Especially with the prison as our home now.

Everyone is excited about the prison and what it means. Beth has lists of what we'll need to farm. Daryl even said we may find some wild animals to bring in and breed up for food. 

I wonder if there are any farms like the Greene's was, still relatively untouched. Probably not at this point but there may be. Perhaps Hershel can help us find some farms to check out. If not, we can check houses further out. Maybe someone will have chickens or a couple goats.

I'll mention it to them when we get back. The others will still be sorting through the bags of supplies we left behind. Beth has taken over directing the others and amazingly enough the others listen. It's made her walk taller, happier even.

They work for three hours straight before Merle calls it quits. He says we can come back for more supplies like the couches and chairs but for now the mattresses are enough. So I slip down from the roof to the truck and down its hood to the ground.

We make better time getting back. Sirius opens the gate to let us back in, closing and locking it behind us. The inner gate is already open so we drive up into the inner courtyard.

Everyone comes out to grab a mattress. They're all the small one, twin sized, but good quality. There's also enough for each cell or even enough to double up if some want. Beth takes charge of directing everyone on where to go.

It's not even noon so Merle insists on going back for more furniture. He says there's couch and stuff that sounds nice.


	50. Assumptions

Chapter 50:Assumptions 

The guys spent the last three days welding metal sheeting to the fence. Merle and Daryl are really the only ones that know how but Sirius helped too, using spells. By late afternoon on the third day they had the entire fence reinforced.

Merle says they still want to add a concrete wall to reinforce it better but for now it works. It also offers us some privacy in case other survivors find us. And while it's been cold outside, they've come in every night sweaty and aching.

We've not really had time to bathe properly but there is a water tower nearby that still puts water in the pipes here. So we filled several buckets and everyone went in groups to wash up. Beth even went to wash with the other women instead of washing with us so no one would make a fuss.

Merle rubs his shoulder, cringing as his muscles ache from all the work. I know how bad it is, especially when you have old scars that knot up. Especially in the colder months, my own back would knot up so badly that I would have to take potions.

I settle down beside him on the metal steps. He glances over briefly so I offer quietly, "I can help with that if you want."

He grins, "Ya got some good pills on ya somewhere?"

I shake my head, "We have the medical bags and there's medicine in there but I meant I could rub your back if you want."

He shrugs only to flinch at the movement. I tug his arm, pulling him to follow me up to our room. He groans miserably but follows.

I wave him to our palate with an order, "Remove your shirt please. Pants too if you want."

I dig through Sirius's bag, remembering a bottle of massage gel inside. It has a smoky spicy scent and warms when you rub it in so I think he'll like it. When I turn around he's already stripped out of his clothes and laying on his stomach on the blankets.

I start with his left hand, more to let him get accustomed to my touch than anything. He may act loud and brash but he can be as prickly as Daryl about touch. They both have to know that you're touching them and what you're doing for them to relax. Although I'm sure they both trust me so I probably don't have to start slow. Still, it's better this way.

I rub my thumb along his palm and down to his wrist before stroking back up the fingers. This I repeat several times, slowing increasing pressure from a light touch to a massage. Then I move up his arm slowly, giving him time to pull away if he doesn't like it.

By the time I get to his shoulders he's already relaxing. I press my palms on his back, stroking down each side before pressing my thumbs in on either side of his spine and pushing back up to his neck. He moans loudly at that.

I do it again, steady strokes and strong pushes. Then I press my palms near each other, the fingers of one hand pointed at the space between the thumb and first finger of my other hand. Then I move them in opposite circular motions so that I'm working the flesh between my hands.

He has a lot of scars. Most are old white lashes made from a belt. A few spots are raised showing where infection had hit but most are sunken. There's also a stab wound and a few smaller cuts that may have come from broken glass.

I press my palms into his back, rubbing and soothing away the knots of tension. He moans in pleasure as his body relaxes bonelessly. I even stroke down the back of his legs down to his ankles and his feet. That really gets him moaning deep pleasured sounds, pressing his heels and toes into my hands.

Daryl snorts in the doorway, "What tha hell are ya doin to my brother?"

I grin back at him, answering, "He was aching so I'm rubbing his back and feet. I can do yours too."

He grins playfully, saying loudly, "Hell yeah, I want a turn."

Merle chuckles languish, his eyes closed. I finish stroking his other foot, pressing my thumbs along his ankle. Daryl strips down, crawling up to lay next to us while watching me rub Merle's foot.

I leave Merle alone once I'm sure he's good and relaxed. Then I switch to Daryl, starting on his right hand. He grins, knowing why I'm starting small.

I stroke his hand, smoothing up his wrist. There's a scar here, curving up the back of his arm and over his thumb to his palm. I'm careful not to press too hard, I don't want to hurt him after all. 

He smiles gently, a rare show of affection that he only allows for me or Beth or Thorin to see. I smile back, moving carefully up his arm. When I reach his shoulder we both chuckle at Merle snoring softly beside us.

I stroke down his back and press back up. He has scars similar to mine and Merle's so I'm careful not to be rough. On the third stroke he moans deeply. 

I sooth and stroke his back until he's good and relaxed. Then I stroke down his legs, paying attention to the knees and calves. He really moans when I get to his ankles and feet, moaning and sighing almost drunkenly.

When I'm done I press a kiss on his shoulder. He huffs out a sleepy, "Thanks, Harry."

I press another kiss to his cheek and one to Merles. Then I clean up, drape a thick fluffy blanket over them, and slip out the door. They've both been working so hard, taking on so much, they need the rest.

I bounce doen the stairs, proud that I could help them both. Neither likes to rely on others and for them to show that much trust, it's amazing. Because they really trust me to allow that much intimacy.

The rest of the group is downstairs at the tables. Several are blushing and avoiding my gaze. What in the world happened to make everyone so awkward? I send a questioning look at Beth. 

She grins back mischeviously, "You had them both moaning loud up there."

What? Do they think...? Oh, they think we were... that I was...

I laugh, amused at the misunderstanding. "I'm good with my hands."

Beth laughs, nearly sliding off the bench too lost to amusement. I double over laughing too. Maggie snaps back that we should be ashamed of ourselves.

"They weren't having sex," Beth snorts amused, "he was giving them a back massage."

Several snort amused, now understanding our laughter. T dog jokes that he worried for a minute that they were pillow biters, whatever that means. And while Maggie and Hershel still frown disappointingly at us, the others are able to see the humor in it.

Sirius had watch tonight so we don't wait for him. Beth passes Thorin to me. He's already looking around blankly, tired but unwilling to close his eyes. I hum to him, probably badly off tune, as we head up to bed.


	51. Getting settled in

Chapter 51: getting settled in

Jag and Glenn worked on removing the bunk bed from one of the cells next to Nichelle's. It was bolted down so they struggled for a while to get it out. But now it can be used for a nursery.

Beth and Carol helped set up the Moses crib and changing table. They loaded all the baby supplies into the room, stacked in the corner for now. Although Beth has another list for us of needs, namely shelves and dressers.

Hershel says Nichelle is still carrying well so he doesnt foresee any issues. He does pass us a list of supplies that we'll need for the birth. Some we have with the medical supplies but some things are specific to birthing. We'll have to hit a delivery ward at a hospital for some things.

Daryl leads a run for the medical supplies with Sirius, T dog, and Glenn. I spend the day with Carol as we try to rig up something to collect water. We have plastic tarps that we pin up between the buildings. They're loose enough that they should be able to hold a bit of water. And we can gather the water later as needed.

We do make a list for water barrels, or something that we can use as one. We'll also need more containers to hold water. Honestly, we have stuff in our shrunken storage that would work but no way to explain it. So we'll sort out some supply runs.

Hershel calls me away from Carol, walking past the inner fence and waving me to follow. I look around carefully, still unaccustomed to so much open space. But the fence is secure, spelled strong by Sirius, so we're safe enough here.

"I just need to ask you," he begins hesitantly, "are you and Beth being careful?"

"We never go anywhere unarmed," I answer, assuming he worries about walkers.

He frowns back, looking me in the eyes for a few minutes before huffing somewhat amused, "I was refering to condoms, son. I'm not ready to be a grandfather."

Oh! My cheeks and ears burn, "We're not... it's not like that. We've kissed, that's it."

He blinks surprised, grinning half amused and half pained, "Are you two even dating?"

I shake my head laughing, "Maggie jumped all over Beth and us when she first saw us. It had Beth feeling protective. And y'all want to keep her sheltered but that'll just make her weak. She doesn't want that, she wants to be strong, so we support her."

He sighs sadly, "I just don't want her under so much pressure."

I nod, understanding that he doesn't mean any harm. He loves his daughter, both of them. But he's always expected Maggie to be strong and Beth to stay sheltered. It's a disservice to them both in my opinion. And it leaves Beth vulnerable.

"Is she with one of the men?" He asks in a strangled voice.

"No," I snort amused, "Merle sees us as kids, Daryl usually treats us like annoying younger siblings, and Sirius wont do anything whithout her encouraging him. She wont. We're family, we support each other, but when we bed down at night it's not to thoughts of sex."

He lets out a breath, his shoulders sagging in relief. At least he believes me now. And maybe he'll stop frowning at Beth in disappointment. She may put on a brave face but it does hurt her that her family doubts her so much.

I tell him about our day drawing on the road with sidewalk chalk. I tell him about riding bikes through a park and how we would race each other. I even tell him about our day swimming at that house although I don't mention that we were all naked at the time.

I tell him about us cooking pizza together and how we danced to music. I don't mention us smoking weed or any of the wilder things we've done. He listens quietly as I tell him how we became such a strong knit unit.

He starts talking about how we'll set up the field for planting and where the crops will be planted. I mention my curiosity about finding animals. He agrees to check our maps and mark all of the farms he knows of. Hopefully we can find a few animals around some of them

We head back inside together. He breathes deeply, looking less troubled than he's been. This must've been weighing heavily on him this whole time. 

I'll talk to Beth, convince her to spend more time with her family. I know it hurts her to hold him and Maggie at an arms length. It won't happen overnight but it's worth working towards.


End file.
